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Amazons!
A reality show for the Universe land comm.
Come join us as beautiful women compete to see who is the strongest of all! Travel back in time to the land of the Amazons, and you'll know soon why no man who lacked the stamina of a wild mustang could keep up to those ancient beauties! Leotards, cat fights, tropical paradise, and mud -- yes, mud -- right here on channel KKAT Saturdays at 8 o'clock with Trish Tilby and April O'Neil reporting!
April: "That's disgusting!"
Trish: "That's showbiz!"
Starring . . .
Faith!
"I'm the meanest, baddest bitch there's ever going to be! I'm going to whup all these little pretenders and have fun trampling their pride!" 
Kitty Pryde!
"I know. I know. I finally get some time off from the Jean Grey school, and I decide to get myself involved with this. I've saved the world too many times to count, though, so how much harder can this be? Besides, there's no students, no curriculum, and I got a special invite from a friend to meet her here. I've got faith I can win!" 
"Oh, and don't pet my cat. His bite's even worse than mine!"
Rogue!
"Ah admit it: Ah miss th' powers Ah inadvertently took from Miss Marvel. There're those who think Ah'm less o' a fighter, less o' an X-Man because Ah can't fly on mah own or have super strength or do most any o' th' things Ah used t' do in battle without havin' to share some one else's power, but Ah got news fer 'em: Ah can still kick most o' their butts. Ah'm still a figher. Those powahs didn't make me who Ah am, an' Ah'm gonna prove that in this little ole game when Ah win." 
Belle!
"I've always wanted an adventure of my own. Now I'm going to have one!" 
Cordelia Chase!
"I took this show on for two reasons: First and foremost, it will give my acting career, which is sure to be long and wonderful, a start, and secondly, it's finally going to prove, once and for all, who the better woman is. She's watching now, and she knows who she is. She's going to know, very soon, too, why I'm the right woman for him and she's not and just needs to keep hanging out in graveyards and with other dead guys because Angel's mine!" 
Xena!
"This competition stinks. No woman should degrade herself like this. I'm going to find out who's behind it and put a stop to it all. Watch out, producers: I'm coming for you!" 
Gabrielle!
"As long as these people are trying to be Amazons, they might as well have a true Amazon in their midst to teach them how our people really were. Besides, the best Amazon's going to win, and we all know who that is." 
"No sense in looking at me, kiddies. I'm surely not a contestant, only a judge, although I do know who's going to win. Call it magic, if you wish, but I promise you I'm always right about this sort of thing." 
Miss Marvel!
"Rogue wants to try to prove herself after what she did to me. She wants a competition. She's going to get one, and I'm going to win." 
And there, you have it, folks, our very last contestant who literally just flew in! This is April O'Neil -- and Trish Tilby -- signing off!
Come join us as beautiful women compete to see who is the strongest of all! Travel back in time to the land of the Amazons, and you'll know soon why no man who lacked the stamina of a wild mustang could keep up to those ancient beauties! Leotards, cat fights, tropical paradise, and mud -- yes, mud -- right here on channel KKAT Saturdays at 8 o'clock with Trish Tilby and April O'Neil reporting!
April: "That's disgusting!"Trish: "That's showbiz!"
Starring . . .
Faith!
"I'm the meanest, baddest bitch there's ever going to be! I'm going to whup all these little pretenders and have fun trampling their pride!" Kitty Pryde!
"I know. I know. I finally get some time off from the Jean Grey school, and I decide to get myself involved with this. I've saved the world too many times to count, though, so how much harder can this be? Besides, there's no students, no curriculum, and I got a special invite from a friend to meet her here. I've got faith I can win!" "Oh, and don't pet my cat. His bite's even worse than mine!"
Rogue!
"Ah admit it: Ah miss th' powers Ah inadvertently took from Miss Marvel. There're those who think Ah'm less o' a fighter, less o' an X-Man because Ah can't fly on mah own or have super strength or do most any o' th' things Ah used t' do in battle without havin' to share some one else's power, but Ah got news fer 'em: Ah can still kick most o' their butts. Ah'm still a figher. Those powahs didn't make me who Ah am, an' Ah'm gonna prove that in this little ole game when Ah win." Belle!
"I've always wanted an adventure of my own. Now I'm going to have one!" Cordelia Chase!
"I took this show on for two reasons: First and foremost, it will give my acting career, which is sure to be long and wonderful, a start, and secondly, it's finally going to prove, once and for all, who the better woman is. She's watching now, and she knows who she is. She's going to know, very soon, too, why I'm the right woman for him and she's not and just needs to keep hanging out in graveyards and with other dead guys because Angel's mine!" Xena!
"This competition stinks. No woman should degrade herself like this. I'm going to find out who's behind it and put a stop to it all. Watch out, producers: I'm coming for you!" Gabrielle!
"As long as these people are trying to be Amazons, they might as well have a true Amazon in their midst to teach them how our people really were. Besides, the best Amazon's going to win, and we all know who that is." "No sense in looking at me, kiddies. I'm surely not a contestant, only a judge, although I do know who's going to win. Call it magic, if you wish, but I promise you I'm always right about this sort of thing." Miss Marvel!
"Rogue wants to try to prove herself after what she did to me. She wants a competition. She's going to get one, and I'm going to win." And there, you have it, folks, our very last contestant who literally just flew in! This is April O'Neil -- and Trish Tilby -- signing off!