Happy's First Christmas
Nov. 26th, 2014 08:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
katleeptWorking Title: Happy's First Christmas
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Scorpion
Character/Pairing: Toby/Happy, Ensemble
Rating: PG-13/T
Challenge: This is for a![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
tv_universe land comm challenge. If you join, be sure to tell them Kat Lee of Team Bunny Ears sent you!
Warning(s): None
Word Count: 2,067
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
She remembers her first Christmas without her parents very well. She was so little at the time, but she has a photographic memory and so never forgets a thing. She remembers the pain of being alone on that Christmas as freshly as if it had just happened. She had been surrounded by other kids, but she had still been alone. To this day, she can be in a room full of people and yet still be alone.
The orphanage tried to give them happy holidays, but there was just so little they could do with their funding. Rich families came more often in December than in any other month, and many of the kids did get adopted. But Happy didn't, not that year or the one after or the one after that. Back then, the adoption of children outside a couple's race had not yet been a fad, and her Oriental color had people often pretending not to see her at all.
She recalls many of the conversations she heard back then, including the one where the prospective asked their foster mother if she didn't have any children closer to Happy's age. The foster, to her credit, had quickly pointed out that they had Happy and she was a lovely child, but the father was just as quick to say, "Any one besides her."
That was the way it had been all of Happy's life. The very few times she was adopted, the people who had applied to be her parents couldn't understand her and quickly ended up giving her back to the orphanage. She experienced a few Thanksgivings with plenty of food to eat and silly hearts on Valentine's Day, but she never spent a Christmas with an actual family.
By the time she reached her teens, Happy was determined that she wouldn't give in to the joyful holiday. She saw people all around her hugging and laughing and parents kissing their children. She saw kids sitting on Santa Claus' lap and actually getting what they asked for on Christmas, but none of that was for Happy. It was all a ruse: one day for a family to act like they actually belonged together, one day for adults to buy the love of each other and their children.
She didn't want love that could be bought. She didn't want the pretend happiness that came with the day. She made a rule of thumb instead -- that she would never succumb to the Christmas lies or spend the holiday with a family. She'd always make certain that her adopted parents gave up on her and took her back to the orphanage before December even began. That way, she would never be persuaded to let herself be happy on Christmas only to be disappointed after the season when harsh reality returned, the love and laughter were gone, and human beings were back to their normal selves.
For a species that claimed the highest rung on the evolutionary ladder, humans certainly had trouble coping with love and other genuine emotions. Animals, Happy discovered in watching different pets in different households, were always straight forward: They either hated you or loved you. But it was never so clear with humans. She would see parents hugging children they later hit, or see the telltale marks peeking out the clothing of kids her age and younger who were kissed in public and beaten mercilessly behind closed doors.
She never did find a family with whom she belonged, but Happy understood why when she walked out of the orphanage. She didn't waste time on lies. She didn't waste time on emotions that were only pretend or other false things. She saw the truth in matters and didn't shy away from them. She also didn't cozy up to people who would later only betray and hurt her. She didn't let herself love, because she was never loved.
She spent every holiday alone. She let Valentine's Day pass while rolling her dark eyes at every couple who couldn't keep their hands off of each other long enough to walk down the street. She pocketed chocolates on Easter and treated herself to a turkey meal in a restaurant on Thanksgiving. On Christmas, however, she holed up. She bought, or stole, enough supplies two weeks before that she wouldn't have to go back out until after all the madness was done.
She had a reputation, and carolers didn't dare come bug her for fear of what she might do to them. There was nobody to call her, nobody to send her Christmas cards, and no one with whom to share gifts. She watched movies instead of turning on the television, thereby missing all the special holiday movies with Santa Claus, his reindeer, and loving families who simply didn't exist. She let the holiday pass and breathed a sigh of relief every December 26.
But this holiday is different. Her team has missions that keep them going out throughout December, so she can't ignore the world or entirely overlook the mistletoe kisses or hugging families. She gives the fake Santas harsh glares and even flips one off when she sees him flirting with the mother of the child who he holds in his lap. For him, it isn't even about the money. It's only about getting in the pants of that woman who's already obviously so willing it's ridiculous. Happy feels for the kid for she knows that some of the worst beatings come from the parents who are trying to ignore their own insecurities and lies. If the mother doesn't get laid, she'll beat the crap out of her son, but if she has her Santa, perhaps, at least, he'll be able to escape Christmas night without a beating.
"Really?" Toby whispers, having seen her reaction to the Santa.
"Creeps," Happy bites back. He glances back at the trio, then nods once in understanding and lets it go.
Or so she thinks. On later reflection, when Toby asks her if she's coming to the team's Christmas party, Happy realizes that she should have known he wouldn't let anything pass so easily.
"Come on," he pleads. "It's not like you've got anything better to do, or do you have a Santa stuffed in your closet, too?"
She glowers at him. He holds up his hands. "Kidding. Just kidding. But please, Happy, come on. Have some fun for once in your life."
"I have fun." Her counter attack is weak, but she knows it's true. She's spent Christmases rebuilding engines and building machines from scratch. She's spent one holed up in a garage where she finally got caught up on everything upon which the company had fallen behind. She's spent them safe, alone but safe every year. She's never once spent a Christmas allowing others to get close enough to her to hurt her.
"I promise you," offered Toby, grinning from ear to ear, "if you'll come with us, you'll have more fun than any Christmas before."
"That's a tall promise, doc."
"Is it really?"
"Happy?"
Happy looks down, surprised at the sound of Ralph's voice. She hadn't realized the kid had come up to them, but now, suddenly, she's looking down into his hopeful eyes. She never realized before how big they could look.
"Please come."
"Yeah, Happy," adds Sebastian. "It won't be the same without you."
"Now, guys," Paige speaks, wrapping her arms around her son and bringing him back against her legs, "Happy may have other plans." She looks directly into her darkening gaze. "If you do, we understand, but if you don't, we'd really like to have you spend Christmas with us."
One corner of Happy's mouth lifts into a half-grin. Paige may not have as much guts or smarts as she does, but she's proven herself before to her. She recalls with clarity how she felt when the tamer woman swung onto a rooftop to come help her. She certainly didn't let her down that day. Neither has Ralph, who isn't even really old enough yet to seriously let her down, or Sebastian or even Toby. She can't say the same for Walter, who's also smiling shyly at her, but she still cares for him nonetheless.
"Fine," she says at last. "I'll -- " She stops herself just in time. "I'll consider it." There. That way, at least, she has a way out if she still decides to take it.
Yet, when Christmas Eve does come, Happy finds herself heading home with her team. As they enter the warehouse, she starts to head for her room, but Ralph is suddenly at her side again. "Please stay," he requests softly.
She looks back only to find the rest of her team looking imploringly at her. Even Cabe seems to have a plea in his old eyes. She sighs, relenting at last. "Fine. Fine. But you'd better have some spiked eggnog."
Toby pours her a glass, and she sips it slowly as she watches others exchanging gifts. Ralph and Sebastian seem equally excited, but she's still at unease. "Relax, soldier," Cabe speaks so that only she can hear. "These are actually good people."
She knows they are and is just beginning to consider that maybe she did make the right choice by, for the first time in her life, spending Christmas with people who appear to care for her. They don't appear to care for you, she corrects herself, thinking of every time Walter, Toby, and even Paige has saved her ass. They do care for you.
She hears Toby clearing his throat over the carols that are playing softly in the background and looks up to where he stands, fumbling with a wrench with a red bow on it. "I, hum, I know you trust this," he says as she nears him.
He's standing underneath mistletoe, and it's clear as a star-filled, Christmas night sky what he wants. She looks up into his eyes, remembering every time they've touched, every time they've come so close to that for which he's silently asking tonight, and all the times he's been there for her. It's because of him that she finally looked up her father. It's because of him that she has some closure there now. It's because of him she's still alive, in more ways than even he knows.
Her lips tremble as she forces them to smile. It's an uncommon gesture for her, and he doesn't let it go unnoticed. He presses his free hand to his heart as he cries, "Wow! I actually got a smile from Happy!" But his own grin tells her he's just kidding. He doesn't mean her any harm. He's made it clear, over the years they've known each other, how he feels for her and that he truly never wants to hurt her.
That doesn't mean he won't, but she's learned to take a lot of chances with this team. She's taken another by being here with them tonight, and she thinks she may be willing to take just one more. She steps closer. His eyes widen. Her teeth toy with her bottom lip.
He leans down. Her own eyes widen. She wants to bolt, and they both know it. His empty hand lifts his hat from his head as he almost bows before her. He wraps that arm around her, both hat and hand pressing gently into the small of her back, and then his lips kiss hers.
She doesn't know what she expected if she ever kissed him, but she knows it wasn't this. The warmth searing from his mouth into hers is hotter and more powerful than any kiss she's ever experienced before, but then, she's never known a man she kissed like she knows Toby. She's never dared to come this close to any one. She's never dared to come close to any one before their team.
She knows she's making a spectacle. Behind them, their whole team is watching and grinning like idiots. Paige covers Ralph's eyes as Toby dips Happy, his tongue sliding smoothly into her mouth. A moan escapes her as she melts into him, and for once, all her thoughts, all her guards, all her defenses . . . simply stop. She stops fighting, and she melts with him on that Christmas night, her last thought being that maybe, just maybe, it is time she had a truly merry Christmas with a family, and a man, who love her.
The End
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Scorpion
Character/Pairing: Toby/Happy, Ensemble
Rating: PG-13/T
Challenge: This is for a
tv_universe land comm challenge. If you join, be sure to tell them Kat Lee of Team Bunny Ears sent you!Warning(s): None
Word Count: 2,067
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
She remembers her first Christmas without her parents very well. She was so little at the time, but she has a photographic memory and so never forgets a thing. She remembers the pain of being alone on that Christmas as freshly as if it had just happened. She had been surrounded by other kids, but she had still been alone. To this day, she can be in a room full of people and yet still be alone.
The orphanage tried to give them happy holidays, but there was just so little they could do with their funding. Rich families came more often in December than in any other month, and many of the kids did get adopted. But Happy didn't, not that year or the one after or the one after that. Back then, the adoption of children outside a couple's race had not yet been a fad, and her Oriental color had people often pretending not to see her at all.
She recalls many of the conversations she heard back then, including the one where the prospective asked their foster mother if she didn't have any children closer to Happy's age. The foster, to her credit, had quickly pointed out that they had Happy and she was a lovely child, but the father was just as quick to say, "Any one besides her."
That was the way it had been all of Happy's life. The very few times she was adopted, the people who had applied to be her parents couldn't understand her and quickly ended up giving her back to the orphanage. She experienced a few Thanksgivings with plenty of food to eat and silly hearts on Valentine's Day, but she never spent a Christmas with an actual family.
By the time she reached her teens, Happy was determined that she wouldn't give in to the joyful holiday. She saw people all around her hugging and laughing and parents kissing their children. She saw kids sitting on Santa Claus' lap and actually getting what they asked for on Christmas, but none of that was for Happy. It was all a ruse: one day for a family to act like they actually belonged together, one day for adults to buy the love of each other and their children.
She didn't want love that could be bought. She didn't want the pretend happiness that came with the day. She made a rule of thumb instead -- that she would never succumb to the Christmas lies or spend the holiday with a family. She'd always make certain that her adopted parents gave up on her and took her back to the orphanage before December even began. That way, she would never be persuaded to let herself be happy on Christmas only to be disappointed after the season when harsh reality returned, the love and laughter were gone, and human beings were back to their normal selves.
For a species that claimed the highest rung on the evolutionary ladder, humans certainly had trouble coping with love and other genuine emotions. Animals, Happy discovered in watching different pets in different households, were always straight forward: They either hated you or loved you. But it was never so clear with humans. She would see parents hugging children they later hit, or see the telltale marks peeking out the clothing of kids her age and younger who were kissed in public and beaten mercilessly behind closed doors.
She never did find a family with whom she belonged, but Happy understood why when she walked out of the orphanage. She didn't waste time on lies. She didn't waste time on emotions that were only pretend or other false things. She saw the truth in matters and didn't shy away from them. She also didn't cozy up to people who would later only betray and hurt her. She didn't let herself love, because she was never loved.
She spent every holiday alone. She let Valentine's Day pass while rolling her dark eyes at every couple who couldn't keep their hands off of each other long enough to walk down the street. She pocketed chocolates on Easter and treated herself to a turkey meal in a restaurant on Thanksgiving. On Christmas, however, she holed up. She bought, or stole, enough supplies two weeks before that she wouldn't have to go back out until after all the madness was done.
She had a reputation, and carolers didn't dare come bug her for fear of what she might do to them. There was nobody to call her, nobody to send her Christmas cards, and no one with whom to share gifts. She watched movies instead of turning on the television, thereby missing all the special holiday movies with Santa Claus, his reindeer, and loving families who simply didn't exist. She let the holiday pass and breathed a sigh of relief every December 26.
But this holiday is different. Her team has missions that keep them going out throughout December, so she can't ignore the world or entirely overlook the mistletoe kisses or hugging families. She gives the fake Santas harsh glares and even flips one off when she sees him flirting with the mother of the child who he holds in his lap. For him, it isn't even about the money. It's only about getting in the pants of that woman who's already obviously so willing it's ridiculous. Happy feels for the kid for she knows that some of the worst beatings come from the parents who are trying to ignore their own insecurities and lies. If the mother doesn't get laid, she'll beat the crap out of her son, but if she has her Santa, perhaps, at least, he'll be able to escape Christmas night without a beating.
"Really?" Toby whispers, having seen her reaction to the Santa.
"Creeps," Happy bites back. He glances back at the trio, then nods once in understanding and lets it go.
Or so she thinks. On later reflection, when Toby asks her if she's coming to the team's Christmas party, Happy realizes that she should have known he wouldn't let anything pass so easily.
"Come on," he pleads. "It's not like you've got anything better to do, or do you have a Santa stuffed in your closet, too?"
She glowers at him. He holds up his hands. "Kidding. Just kidding. But please, Happy, come on. Have some fun for once in your life."
"I have fun." Her counter attack is weak, but she knows it's true. She's spent Christmases rebuilding engines and building machines from scratch. She's spent one holed up in a garage where she finally got caught up on everything upon which the company had fallen behind. She's spent them safe, alone but safe every year. She's never once spent a Christmas allowing others to get close enough to her to hurt her.
"I promise you," offered Toby, grinning from ear to ear, "if you'll come with us, you'll have more fun than any Christmas before."
"That's a tall promise, doc."
"Is it really?"
"Happy?"
Happy looks down, surprised at the sound of Ralph's voice. She hadn't realized the kid had come up to them, but now, suddenly, she's looking down into his hopeful eyes. She never realized before how big they could look.
"Please come."
"Yeah, Happy," adds Sebastian. "It won't be the same without you."
"Now, guys," Paige speaks, wrapping her arms around her son and bringing him back against her legs, "Happy may have other plans." She looks directly into her darkening gaze. "If you do, we understand, but if you don't, we'd really like to have you spend Christmas with us."
One corner of Happy's mouth lifts into a half-grin. Paige may not have as much guts or smarts as she does, but she's proven herself before to her. She recalls with clarity how she felt when the tamer woman swung onto a rooftop to come help her. She certainly didn't let her down that day. Neither has Ralph, who isn't even really old enough yet to seriously let her down, or Sebastian or even Toby. She can't say the same for Walter, who's also smiling shyly at her, but she still cares for him nonetheless.
"Fine," she says at last. "I'll -- " She stops herself just in time. "I'll consider it." There. That way, at least, she has a way out if she still decides to take it.
Yet, when Christmas Eve does come, Happy finds herself heading home with her team. As they enter the warehouse, she starts to head for her room, but Ralph is suddenly at her side again. "Please stay," he requests softly.
She looks back only to find the rest of her team looking imploringly at her. Even Cabe seems to have a plea in his old eyes. She sighs, relenting at last. "Fine. Fine. But you'd better have some spiked eggnog."
Toby pours her a glass, and she sips it slowly as she watches others exchanging gifts. Ralph and Sebastian seem equally excited, but she's still at unease. "Relax, soldier," Cabe speaks so that only she can hear. "These are actually good people."
She knows they are and is just beginning to consider that maybe she did make the right choice by, for the first time in her life, spending Christmas with people who appear to care for her. They don't appear to care for you, she corrects herself, thinking of every time Walter, Toby, and even Paige has saved her ass. They do care for you.
She hears Toby clearing his throat over the carols that are playing softly in the background and looks up to where he stands, fumbling with a wrench with a red bow on it. "I, hum, I know you trust this," he says as she nears him.
He's standing underneath mistletoe, and it's clear as a star-filled, Christmas night sky what he wants. She looks up into his eyes, remembering every time they've touched, every time they've come so close to that for which he's silently asking tonight, and all the times he's been there for her. It's because of him that she finally looked up her father. It's because of him that she has some closure there now. It's because of him she's still alive, in more ways than even he knows.
Her lips tremble as she forces them to smile. It's an uncommon gesture for her, and he doesn't let it go unnoticed. He presses his free hand to his heart as he cries, "Wow! I actually got a smile from Happy!" But his own grin tells her he's just kidding. He doesn't mean her any harm. He's made it clear, over the years they've known each other, how he feels for her and that he truly never wants to hurt her.
That doesn't mean he won't, but she's learned to take a lot of chances with this team. She's taken another by being here with them tonight, and she thinks she may be willing to take just one more. She steps closer. His eyes widen. Her teeth toy with her bottom lip.
He leans down. Her own eyes widen. She wants to bolt, and they both know it. His empty hand lifts his hat from his head as he almost bows before her. He wraps that arm around her, both hat and hand pressing gently into the small of her back, and then his lips kiss hers.
She doesn't know what she expected if she ever kissed him, but she knows it wasn't this. The warmth searing from his mouth into hers is hotter and more powerful than any kiss she's ever experienced before, but then, she's never known a man she kissed like she knows Toby. She's never dared to come this close to any one. She's never dared to come close to any one before their team.
She knows she's making a spectacle. Behind them, their whole team is watching and grinning like idiots. Paige covers Ralph's eyes as Toby dips Happy, his tongue sliding smoothly into her mouth. A moan escapes her as she melts into him, and for once, all her thoughts, all her guards, all her defenses . . . simply stop. She stops fighting, and she melts with him on that Christmas night, her last thought being that maybe, just maybe, it is time she had a truly merry Christmas with a family, and a man, who love her.
The End
