![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
A Love Stronger
Working Title: A Love Stronger
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel
Character/Pairing: Angel/Buffy
Rating: PG/K+
Challenge: This is for the Big Bang Inspirations challenge at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
tv_universe. If you join, be sure to tell them Kat Lee of Team Bunny Ears sent you!
Warning(s): Dark Future AU, Character Deaths
Word Count: 1,357
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon, not the author, and are used without permission.
She doesn't pull it out until she senses the end coming near again. There's only a few of them left now. She knows whose time it is, but she's ready to say goodbye. She's already said it so many times before. As she opens the tiny box in which she keeps her most prized possession, she remembers the first time she said goodbye to the man who gave her this ring. It was far from their last, or most painful, goodbye, but the memories still bring tears to her tired, green eyes.
The ring still sparkles as brightly as it did on the night he gave it to her. She likes to think the promise is still just as true. Although he's been gone from this world for quite some time, she knows he earned his shanshu, and she knows what waits in the beyond. She's been there before, after all.
She traces the hands and the heart they clasp around as she remembers. She remembers every time she had to tell him goodbye, and not just him but others as well. She's buried so many, and now it's time to do it again. Only this time, she won't be one of the ones doing the digging.
She wonders who waits for her. Will they all be there this time? She was so happy in Heaven before, but she was lonely. She was all alone, just as she's been for the last many years. Oh, she's had a plethora of visitors -- she smiles, thinking Giles would be proud of her for using that word --, but none who have really mattered, none who she's really wanted to see.
That's because all those who she still cares to see have now gone before her. She died twice before them, but in the end, it did her little good. In the end, she buried them all: Giles in England, Willow and Xander right next to each other. Even her little sister is dead, and she died just like she tried to live her life: being like her big sister.
Buffy's eyes turn to look at the photos she has sitting on her nightstand. Every one in those pictures she treasures is smiling. She wonders if they smile now. She reaches out and traces Dawn's smile. She hadn't been supposed to be real. She hadn't been supposed to truly be her sister, but she still loves her every bit as much as a sister.
And she's still so proud of her, as proud as only a big sister or a parent could be. Dawnie died just like her, saving the world. She looks back at her ring and sits the picture back down before her old and wrinkled hands can drop it. She stares at the ring, remembering, remembering how Dawn died, remembering how Spike went crazy when he couldn't save her, remembering how Angel died saving him, and remembering how she felt burying every single one of them, every friend, every one she'd ever loved.
She sighs, suddenly so weary she barely has the strength to stay sitting up, holding to her ring. She truly is exhausted, and she's more tired of being alone than she is of anything else. She's been alone for far too long now. Even in a room full of people, she's still alone. There's no one left on this earth who holds anything for her. She hates seeing any of them, hates having to go out, hates having visitors who mean nothing to her, hates even having to attend the banquets and dances they throw in her honor.
They hold her up as a hero to the younger generations. They adore her. They practically worship her, and yet all she wants to tell them is that she's not the real hero. Her friends were. The friends who became her family were always her hero. They were the ones who kept her going. They were the ones who saved the world when they didn't have to. They were the ones who gave her strength when she had none, life when she shouldn't have had it, and the only happiness she'd known since being called. They were the heroes, the real heroes, the ones who should have been held up as shining examples for all the newcoming Witches, Slayers, and Watchers.
They were the heroes, and they are the ones without whom she's tired of living. They are the only ones she aches to see again. She yearns for Angel's arms. She yearns for Dawnie's. She'd even loved to be hugged by Cordelia or Tara or even Anya again. They are the ones she wants, not this world or anything that it still holds.
This world has tried to give her so much, but it can't give her what she wants the most. It can't give her her mother back or her sister or her lovers. It can't give her her friends. She's had offers from many Witches over the years to attempt to bring her lost loved ones back just as Willow brought her back. She's had offers. She could pick up the phone right now, dial a number, and have them returned to her in less than a day's time.
But that wouldn't be right. She wasn't right when they brought her back, and she didn't want to be back then. She later came to love Willow, Xander, and Dawn even more, because they wouldn't give up on her even after she died. But at the time, she hadn't wanted to leave Heaven. She hadn't remembered what she was missing. She had known only peace and joy and had been able to give up the fight.
She gave up the fight a long time ago. She hasn't staked a Vampire or slayed a Demon in more than years now. Her weapons are all put away, and she wouldn't be able to hold one up for long if she had to. But she remembers. She remembers the fights, the ongoing, seemingly never-ending battle. She remembers how her friends were always there for her, but she remembers, too, that being the Slayer was a lonely place back then, before so many were called by Willow's spell at Sunnydale's end.
She remembers that it was only through being the Slayer that she survived the spell her friend used to bring her back. If she hadn't been the Slayer, if she hadn't been the strongest girl of her generation, she never would have made it. If she brought them back, they wouldn't be right. They wouldn't be whole. They wouldn't be them, which was why she had all resurrection spells permanently banned. That was one of the few, good things that her power in the world's paranormal government gave her.
Actually, she's been able to do a lot from her seat of power, even from this very room. She can have new laws enacted or destroyed with a single phone call. She can ring a bell and have anything of her choosing brought to her, anything but what she wants the most. But now, she can have that, too, no bell required. All she has to do is shut her eyes, breathe her last, and she does so with a smile.
Hours later, when the Watchers come to check her room, they find that the Slayer who changed everything is no longer amongst the living. It is only, however, when they begin to prepare her body for burial that they find the ring she still clutches. Her hand completely envelopes its little, velvet box. They look at the ring, at the two hands joined around the heart, and they know. They know she's gone to be with the ones she loves. They know she's happy at last, now that she has the one thing their world couldn't give her. They know she is full of joy and is loved again, and they remember the love that first broke barriers and that did prove to be stronger than all the rules, than Good and Evil, and than time itself. And they smile through their tears as they remember.
The End
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel
Character/Pairing: Angel/Buffy
Rating: PG/K+
Challenge: This is for the Big Bang Inspirations challenge at
tv_universe. If you join, be sure to tell them Kat Lee of Team Bunny Ears sent you!Warning(s): Dark Future AU, Character Deaths
Word Count: 1,357
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon, not the author, and are used without permission.
She doesn't pull it out until she senses the end coming near again. There's only a few of them left now. She knows whose time it is, but she's ready to say goodbye. She's already said it so many times before. As she opens the tiny box in which she keeps her most prized possession, she remembers the first time she said goodbye to the man who gave her this ring. It was far from their last, or most painful, goodbye, but the memories still bring tears to her tired, green eyes.
The ring still sparkles as brightly as it did on the night he gave it to her. She likes to think the promise is still just as true. Although he's been gone from this world for quite some time, she knows he earned his shanshu, and she knows what waits in the beyond. She's been there before, after all.
She traces the hands and the heart they clasp around as she remembers. She remembers every time she had to tell him goodbye, and not just him but others as well. She's buried so many, and now it's time to do it again. Only this time, she won't be one of the ones doing the digging.
She wonders who waits for her. Will they all be there this time? She was so happy in Heaven before, but she was lonely. She was all alone, just as she's been for the last many years. Oh, she's had a plethora of visitors -- she smiles, thinking Giles would be proud of her for using that word --, but none who have really mattered, none who she's really wanted to see.
That's because all those who she still cares to see have now gone before her. She died twice before them, but in the end, it did her little good. In the end, she buried them all: Giles in England, Willow and Xander right next to each other. Even her little sister is dead, and she died just like she tried to live her life: being like her big sister.
Buffy's eyes turn to look at the photos she has sitting on her nightstand. Every one in those pictures she treasures is smiling. She wonders if they smile now. She reaches out and traces Dawn's smile. She hadn't been supposed to be real. She hadn't been supposed to truly be her sister, but she still loves her every bit as much as a sister.
And she's still so proud of her, as proud as only a big sister or a parent could be. Dawnie died just like her, saving the world. She looks back at her ring and sits the picture back down before her old and wrinkled hands can drop it. She stares at the ring, remembering, remembering how Dawn died, remembering how Spike went crazy when he couldn't save her, remembering how Angel died saving him, and remembering how she felt burying every single one of them, every friend, every one she'd ever loved.
She sighs, suddenly so weary she barely has the strength to stay sitting up, holding to her ring. She truly is exhausted, and she's more tired of being alone than she is of anything else. She's been alone for far too long now. Even in a room full of people, she's still alone. There's no one left on this earth who holds anything for her. She hates seeing any of them, hates having to go out, hates having visitors who mean nothing to her, hates even having to attend the banquets and dances they throw in her honor.
They hold her up as a hero to the younger generations. They adore her. They practically worship her, and yet all she wants to tell them is that she's not the real hero. Her friends were. The friends who became her family were always her hero. They were the ones who kept her going. They were the ones who saved the world when they didn't have to. They were the ones who gave her strength when she had none, life when she shouldn't have had it, and the only happiness she'd known since being called. They were the heroes, the real heroes, the ones who should have been held up as shining examples for all the newcoming Witches, Slayers, and Watchers.
They were the heroes, and they are the ones without whom she's tired of living. They are the only ones she aches to see again. She yearns for Angel's arms. She yearns for Dawnie's. She'd even loved to be hugged by Cordelia or Tara or even Anya again. They are the ones she wants, not this world or anything that it still holds.
This world has tried to give her so much, but it can't give her what she wants the most. It can't give her her mother back or her sister or her lovers. It can't give her her friends. She's had offers from many Witches over the years to attempt to bring her lost loved ones back just as Willow brought her back. She's had offers. She could pick up the phone right now, dial a number, and have them returned to her in less than a day's time.
But that wouldn't be right. She wasn't right when they brought her back, and she didn't want to be back then. She later came to love Willow, Xander, and Dawn even more, because they wouldn't give up on her even after she died. But at the time, she hadn't wanted to leave Heaven. She hadn't remembered what she was missing. She had known only peace and joy and had been able to give up the fight.
She gave up the fight a long time ago. She hasn't staked a Vampire or slayed a Demon in more than years now. Her weapons are all put away, and she wouldn't be able to hold one up for long if she had to. But she remembers. She remembers the fights, the ongoing, seemingly never-ending battle. She remembers how her friends were always there for her, but she remembers, too, that being the Slayer was a lonely place back then, before so many were called by Willow's spell at Sunnydale's end.
She remembers that it was only through being the Slayer that she survived the spell her friend used to bring her back. If she hadn't been the Slayer, if she hadn't been the strongest girl of her generation, she never would have made it. If she brought them back, they wouldn't be right. They wouldn't be whole. They wouldn't be them, which was why she had all resurrection spells permanently banned. That was one of the few, good things that her power in the world's paranormal government gave her.
Actually, she's been able to do a lot from her seat of power, even from this very room. She can have new laws enacted or destroyed with a single phone call. She can ring a bell and have anything of her choosing brought to her, anything but what she wants the most. But now, she can have that, too, no bell required. All she has to do is shut her eyes, breathe her last, and she does so with a smile.
Hours later, when the Watchers come to check her room, they find that the Slayer who changed everything is no longer amongst the living. It is only, however, when they begin to prepare her body for burial that they find the ring she still clutches. Her hand completely envelopes its little, velvet box. They look at the ring, at the two hands joined around the heart, and they know. They know she's gone to be with the ones she loves. They know she's happy at last, now that she has the one thing their world couldn't give her. They know she is full of joy and is loved again, and they remember the love that first broke barriers and that did prove to be stronger than all the rules, than Good and Evil, and than time itself. And they smile through their tears as they remember.
The End