One Samhain Night

[katleept]

Title: One Samhain Night
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Character/Pairing: Willow/Tara, Xander/Anya, Buffy, Joyce, Angel/Cordelia, Giles/Jenny
Rating: PG-13/T
Challenge: This is for a tv_universe land comm challenge. If you join, be sure to tell them Kat Lee of Team Bunny Ears sent you!
Warning(s): Angst Abounds
Word Count: All together, it's 1,959, but this story is separated into segments, one for each visit.
Summary: One Samhain night; five visits to last lifetimes.
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, not the author, and are used without permission.




"I didn't think you'd show," Willow admits softly. Her bottom lip trembles as she hesitantly reaches out for the woman before her.

Tara opens her arms wide, and she nearly flies into them. "I didn't think you'd call again," the blonde admits. "What about Kennedy?"

Willow's lips lift into a self-depreciating smirk. "She's a nice kid," she answers honestly, and then her smile is gone as she concludes, "but she's not you."

Tara softly strokes her hair, which is beginning to grow long again. "I know she's not me, sweetie. I miss you, too, but I want you to live your life. We'll be together again one day, but in the mean time, don't let my memory hold you back."

"How can I not?" Willow asks, tears shining in her eyes. "You don't really want the rest when you've had the best."

Tara's answering smile is both sad and truthful. "I know, love," she answers again, "but at least try to be happy, for me." She cups her face, and her kiss is the gentlest Willow has ever known as her lips touch her forehead. Then, left alone once more, Willow tries not to cry as she hugs herself. She tries to be happy for Tara, even though she knows she can't be.

Quietly, she turns to face her friends and the one man who made their meeting possible. "Thank you." They let her go without a further word to sit alone through the rest of the Samhain night and hold her memories tightly and dearly to her heart.






"Xander!" Anya exclaims in joyous surprise, but then she hardens, remembering that he is the man who left her at the alter. She gave up everything for him, even her life eventually, and he stood her up. The pain is suddenly fresh again in the area of her chest where her heart beats no longer. "What do you want?" She scowls.

"I . . . " He runs a nervous hand through his short, black hair and releases a deep sigh. "I wanted to talk to you," he admits.

"Well? Talk."

"I'm sorry, Anya," he blurts out. "I'm sorry we didn't make it work. I'm sorry I didn't make it work. I'm sorry I convinced you to give up being a Demon. No, I'm not. Well, I am -- "

"Stop babbling and make sense. I may be dead, but my time is still important."

"Yeah. I know. About that whole Demon thing, you're not . . . Are you?"

"No. I haven't gotten my revenge on you, have I?"

"No." He has the good sense to blush and look at his sneakered feet instead of her as he answers that question. "Well, on the Demon thing -- "

"Get to the point, Xander."

"I'm trying, Anya. Geez, we can't even do this without fighting, can we?"

"I . . . " Her face falls suddenly, and her eyes almost betray her true emotions. "I guess not," she admits.

"I kinda wish you still were a Demon, because thing at least you'd be alive, but then, too, there's the whole evil thing and wishing men dead thing and all that. But I wish you were still alive, Anya. I miss you. And I know you think I don't, but I do love you. I never stopped. I was just an idiot and a coward, and I am so sorry for standing you up. I wish we had gotten married when we had the chance. There's no one else like you. I love you, Anya, and I'm proud -- "

He's silenced suddenly by her mouth covering his. She grabs him and pulls him hard and tight against her body, her tongue diving into his mouth. Suddenly, words no longer matter. Nor can they be said for neither can think straight. They grab at each other, pull at one another, and kiss each other like they may never see each other again, which they will one day, but it will be many years in the coming.

"I'm proud of you," Xander gasps when Anya lifts her head.

She pouts even as a white light bathes her. "But I don't wanna go," she complains to some one whose voice Xander can not hear.

He knows he has to be strong. "It's okay, baby," he tells her. "You've earned this. I'm proud of you," he speaks again, then kisses her once more. He's still passionately kissing her when she vanishes into the light. He falls forward; Buffy catches him.

The Slayer cocks an eyebrow at her friend. "You okay, Xand?"

He nods slowly. He tries to speak, but he finds he can not voice what he's feeling. He's okay, as okay as he can be in the wake of what has just happened, but there's another part of him, he fears, that may well never be okay again.

"Buffy," a gentle voice asks, "are you ready?"

Buffy pauses, looking at the others gathered, but finally, she nods. She's as ready as she's going to be and steps up to the proverbial plate.







The world around the Slayer appears to vanish, and the one she finds herself in instead seems as though it's made of a dream. Everything around her is white and clear. She hasn't seen this bright and pure a light since she was dead. Suddenly, a figure appears in the whiteness. Buffy falls back, her hands instinctively balling into fists, until the figure turns around and removes the hood of her cloak.

"Mom?" Buffy almost chokes on the name, then she runs into her mother's arms. She usually tries to keep her tears at bay. It doesn't do to let the world know that the Slayer can be hurt so easily, that she cries and feels and hurts for those she loves, but this time, she can not help it. Besides, they're safe here, only her mother and her friends to witness these both sad and joyful tears.

"Yes, Buffy," Joyce replies softly. "It's me, darling." She hugs her daughter tightly and kisses her forehead.

"Mom, I -- " She struggles for words and sighs. "I don't know where to begin!"

"It's okay," Joyce reassures, hugging her. "You don't have to tell me anything. I've seen it all. I've been watching you since the day I was taken from you, Buffy. You've been through so much." She shakes her head sadly. "I wish I could have been there for you, but I want you to know I'm proud of you. I am so proud of you. My daughter is not only a wonderful daughter, an amazing, young woman, and a powerful Slayer, but you are the best Slayer ever and the best daughter any mother could ever have."

Buffy blushes. "Aw, Mom, I don't know if I'm all that."

"Yes. Yes, you are," Joyce says sternly, gazing into her bright, green eyes, "and I love you, Buffy." She kisses her again, and then she's gone.

Buffy looks through her tears at the man who gave her the gift of her visit with her mother, but she can no longer speak. She knows if she tries to, all she's going to be able to get out of her mouth is an aching sob. She nods her gratitude, then goes to where Willow and Xander are already waiting. Wordlessly, the three friends embrace.







"Are you ready?" he had been asked, and always a warrior striving to be ready for whatever life tosses at him, Angel had said, "yes". Yet, now that it is his turn and he's looking at the person he loves so greatly and has lost, he's not at all sure it was the right answer to give. "I . . . Cordy . . . I . . . " His pale hands helplessly wring empty air. "I don't know what to say," he admits at last.

She shakes her head and flashes him a teasing smile that still has the power to make him forget his habitual breathing. He knows it would take his breath away even if he'd been mortal and needed the oxygen to live. "You never were good with words," she comments, wrapping her arms around him. Her smile is brilliant, but there are tears in her hazel eyes. "Lucky for us: I do."

"There was one thing I wanted to tell you for years before I died, Angel. I was coming to tell you when they took me. I wanted to tell you again when I visited you when I was dying, but I didn't want to leave you with such heartache. You had such a hard time getting over Buffy. I didn't want to add to your pain."

He lifts one of her hands and humbly kisses its back. "There is no getting over you, Cordelia Chase."

Her smile widens; she flashes him her pearly whites. "I know that, silly." But then a tear escapes her control. It drops from her eyes; he stops the tear with a kiss on the flesh she possesses again for this night alone. "Not getting to say those words to you, though -- " She shakes her head; his fingers curl in her long, raven hair. "That was the biggest mistake of my life."

Her smile had vanished for only a moment; now it's brighter than before. "I love you, Angel," she says and presses her lips deeply to his. He holds her against him, reverently and passionately kissing her, until he feels her beginning to slip through his fingers. Then, in a rush to tell her before he no longer can, he cries out, "I love you too, Cordelia!"

Her smile is the last thing he sees of her before she vanishes completely. Her final words echo in his mind, "I know," as he finds himself back on the plane of the living. His sorrowful eyes gaze into Giles' for a moment. He knows what he is about to do, and he hopes it helps him. Those scarce moments he just gave him with his cherished Cordelia were an incredible gift that he will treasure for as long as he exists, but now he aches even more from the loss of her.

Head bowed, Angel goes to join the others. Together, Angel, Buffy, Xander, and Willow look on as Giles takes a deep breath and enchants his mind as he has each of theirs before.







He is surprised to find himself holding a rose, but in the next moment, as he recalls how horribly he found his beloved's body, he realizes that it makes sense that she would still have roses around her in the spiritual realm. They had been all around her, after all, when he'd found her corpse. "Jenny," he whispers, the aching of his heart clear in his hushed tone of voice.

"Rupert." She smiles at him, loving the feel of his name on the tongue she has for just a few more minutes tonight. "Don't," she then pleads.

"Don't what?" he asks. "Don't apologize for causing your death?"

"Angelus may have killed me to get to you and Buffy. That's true. But I never really lived until I loved you." Her smile grows. "I know it's cliche, Rupert, but it's truth. I've reviewed my life time after time since I've been here, and the only regrets I have are that I could not cure Angel faster and that I didn't meet you sooner. Now kiss me," she commands.

There is so much he wants to tell her, so much more for which he wants to apologize, but he finds, suddenly, that the words no longer matter. What matters is that they're together, and he's determined to make every second of it count. He pulls her close to him, covers her mouth with his, and kisses her for the rest of their Samhain night.

The End