Entry tags:
Free Me
Title: Free Me
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Character/Pairing: Xander/Spike
Rating: PG-13/T
Challenge/Prompt:
slashthedrabble #372: Caged
Warning(s): None
Word Count: 300
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, not the author, and are used without permission.
Sometimes, he looks at him, and he wonders if this mortal body is just a cage. Sometimes, he looks at him in the silver light of the moon and wonders what it would feel like to have his arms wrap around him, even if in a killing grip, and his fangs sink into his neck. Sometimes, he thinks he'd love that feeling. Sometimes, he thinks it's the only thing that will actually make him feel alive again.
And he hates that about himself. He hates that yearning for the darkness, hates that he's sick and tired of being the good guy and watching his friends be killed and suffer, hates the fact he's so sick of feeling helpless that the thought of becoming a Vampire fills his dreams.
That's all it is: that longing for the Vampires' strength, to be able to actually fight, to have the power to actually fight back against the creatures of the night. It's not Spike. It's not the way the moonbeams caress his face or the shadows play in his hair. It's not that smile he's got or the way his lips quirk around his cigarette. It's not the gleam of his fangs when they're alone at night or the way he sometimes whispers his name that makes Xander think that maybe he can be more than just the human friend of the Slayer and Witch who keep battling Evil and keep suffering because of them.
It's not just Spike, he tells himself. It's power. It's the power he wants him to offer him, not the love he sometimes thinks he can see in his eyes when he's gazing at him. It's just the power. After all, he can't be in love with the enemy. He's not that dumb, not that weak . . . Is he?
The End
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Character/Pairing: Xander/Spike
Rating: PG-13/T
Challenge/Prompt:
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
Warning(s): None
Word Count: 300
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, not the author, and are used without permission.
Sometimes, he looks at him, and he wonders if this mortal body is just a cage. Sometimes, he looks at him in the silver light of the moon and wonders what it would feel like to have his arms wrap around him, even if in a killing grip, and his fangs sink into his neck. Sometimes, he thinks he'd love that feeling. Sometimes, he thinks it's the only thing that will actually make him feel alive again.
And he hates that about himself. He hates that yearning for the darkness, hates that he's sick and tired of being the good guy and watching his friends be killed and suffer, hates the fact he's so sick of feeling helpless that the thought of becoming a Vampire fills his dreams.
That's all it is: that longing for the Vampires' strength, to be able to actually fight, to have the power to actually fight back against the creatures of the night. It's not Spike. It's not the way the moonbeams caress his face or the shadows play in his hair. It's not that smile he's got or the way his lips quirk around his cigarette. It's not the gleam of his fangs when they're alone at night or the way he sometimes whispers his name that makes Xander think that maybe he can be more than just the human friend of the Slayer and Witch who keep battling Evil and keep suffering because of them.
It's not just Spike, he tells himself. It's power. It's the power he wants him to offer him, not the love he sometimes thinks he can see in his eyes when he's gazing at him. It's just the power. After all, he can't be in love with the enemy. He's not that dumb, not that weak . . . Is he?
The End