Hairy Eyeball

[katleept]

Title: Hairy Eyeball
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Character/Pairing: Willow/Tara, Xander/Anya, Giles
Rating: G/K
Challenge/Prompt: 1_million_words Crack Me Up: This One Time At
Warning(s): None
Word Count: 1,281
Date Written: 28 March, 2016
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Whedon, not the author, and are used without permission.




"I just don't know how he does it! One look from that hairy eyeball, and it's like we're kids again! Even when we're not doing anything wrong!"

Tara smiles as her girlfriend babbles. She personally likes that Mister Giles can still keep them all in line. She's known Willow to completely stop thinking about trying a new spell just because Giles looked their way while they were discussing it, and on more than one occasion, too.

"He always thinks we're doing something wrong, Will."

"Not always. He means well."

"Yeah. That's why he sent us from the house."

"Buffy needs her sleep. I didn't realize we'd been hogging all her attention."

"We haven't been. He's just jealous."

"Of what?" Willow asks, raising her own eyebrow.

"Of B-time. He'd keep her all to himself, if he could."

"No, he wouldn't. I -- I think he's just mad."

"About what?"

Tara places her hand over her girlfriend's and squeezes it softy as the redhead admits in a quiet whisper, "That I brought her back from the dead."

"He wanted her back just as much as we did!"

"Yeah. But I'm not sure it's what she wanted."

"Of course she did! She missed us! I saved her last time; you saved her this time."

Willow casts her gaze outside the window and watches the people walking by them. So many lives are still completely unaware of the Supernatural, of Vampires, and spells to resurrect dead best friends. So many people still live on the Hellmouth and yet remain blissfully unaware of the Vampires. Sometimes, she almost wishes she was one of them, but that would mean missing out on her friendship with Buffy. She doesn't have the words to convey how she feels, but even though she does feel some guilt now for bringing her friend back from the dead, she knows she'd still do it again in a heartbeat. She'll do anything to keep Buffy with them, but maybe Giles is right. Maybe it is selfish. Maybe Buffy was in a better place.

She feels Tara's presence by her side, her fingers gently stroking hers, and squeezes her back. Tara remains quiet, not having the words to reassure her girlfriend when she already knew this would happen. There are some things with which no one, not even a Witch as powerful as her Willow, should mess.

"There are some things nobody should mess with," Anya speaks aloud, and Tara's eyes shoot questioningly to her. The former Demoness shrugs, not knowing she just voiced Tara's private thought. "And Giles always thinks he knows better than any of us. He forgets I'm actually older than him all the time. He treats me like a child at the Magic Box! This one time at the store, I was looking over our sales records, and I felt this look on me."

"He's totally got that hairy eyeball thing down, just like you said, Willow. I was feeling bad, like I had done something wrong, like a misbehaving child, but I'm not a child and neither are you and he really needs to learn that." Willow looks up, surprised at how much Anya can babble like herself. "Any way, I looked up finally, right, and what do I see but this giant, hairy eyeball looking right at me! And I mean, only the eyeball!"

The other three gawk at Anya, and she stops her story. "What?" she questions.

"Only the eyeball?" Xander repeats. "Honey, you wanna explain that a little better?"

"Yeah," Tara pipes up. "Where . . . Where was the rest of . . . of Mister Giles?"

"In another dimension!" Anya laughs. "As quick as he is to tell us when we do wrong and punish us with that look of his, he had messed up and opened the wrong book and been sucked into another dimension! He managed to cause just enough of a rift in dimensions that he was able to reach me through that hairy eyeball of his, and I had to go save him. Of course, then, he blamed me for purchasing the book in the first place, but I never told him to open the thing!"

A smile chases over Willow's lips. Anya grins in response and rubs her foot against Xander's shin, making him jump slightly. His knee bumps the table across from Tara. She looks at him questioningly, but he blushes sheepishly, looks away, and uses his sneakered foot to push Anya's away from him. "Any way, what I was going to say is there are some things nobody should mess with, but everybody's guilty of messing with them. Giles gets on to us so much, especially you, Willow, because we remind him of his own youth when he was a bad, little boy."

"You think?" the Witch asks, her head cocking to one side.

"Oh, yeah! I know! And he's still messing up now! He caught himself in that dimension and would still be there if I hadn't saved him! And yet, do I get a "thank you"? Oh, no! The man's incapable of thanking any one! It's all, "Anya, you shouldn't've done that," and, "Anya, we're supposed to discuss every item we buy before the actual purchase"! But does he talk with me about the things he buys for the store? Oh, no! That's why we've got, like, a hundred fake rabbit feet in there! Those things just do not move unless it's Easter or Saint Patrick's Day! And rabbits!" She shudders visibly. "Those are disgusting, horrible, little things! We don't need any pieces of them around us!"

"I thought you said they were f-fake?"

"Well, yeah, but that's beside the point!"

Willow smiles sweetly but interrupts Anya before she can get started again. "Thank you, Anya, but Tara and I need to get going. We have a meeting."

"Oh. Okay." Anya's bright faces fall into a pout. "Go ahead with your little meeting then."

"Thank you," Willow says again and slides out of the booth after her girlfriend.

Anya wastes no time after their departure in cozying up to Xander's side and sliding against him. Her hand runs over his jeaned knee, fingers reaching. "Did I do good?" she asks eagerly.

"Good?" he ponders aloud, clearly confused.

"Yeah. You said I should start trying to pay attention to people's feelings and help them. So do you think I cheered Willow up for you?"

"I think you helped," he says with an approving nod. He spits his soda across the table as Anya's fingers find the bulge in his jeans. "Anya! Not in public!" He gasps her hand and pulls it above the table.

"Then let's go home," she says, wriggling.

He sighs, head hanging. He should've known she'd had an ulterior motive to helping his best friend, but she is at least learning. Her bright, expectant faces brings a smile to his lips as he silently acknowledges that, as much as he loves her, she wouldn't be Anya without her ulterior motives, bubbling, and crazy stories. "Okay," he agrees at last. "Let's go home."

As they walk out of the Bronze together, he wonders how much of her story was made up and how much was real and finds himself laughing again at the thought of Giles having only an enormous eyeball in this dimension. He'll have to remember that story and put the old man in his place the next time he tries to make him feel like a child. They all make mistakes, but he doesn't think bringing Buffy back was a mistake. The world would be lost without their friend. They would be, and were, lost without her. Now they're together again. Now they can face anything once again, even giant, floating, hairy eyeballs. He laughs.

The End