katleept

Title: "An Enchanted Easter"
Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: PG
Summary: Shrek, Donkey, and Puss in Boots find enchantment and surprises when they go in search of the Easter Bunny.
Warnings: Het, Established Relationships, Cannon Relationships -- *gasp* Aye, I know for me and this fandom, that actually is a bonafide warning! I even managed to surprise myself with this one! :-) Ah, more Puss/Donkey, they need more love! Maybe I'll get to give it to them soon, but not in this fic, sadly. Oh, yeah, there's also drug use mentioned, but not the drug of which most would think! Still, it's my beloved Jack's and my drug of choice -- and all our babies', Puss', Thomas', Salem's, Scat Cat's, and even Duchess' too. :-)
Word Count: 3,938
Date Written: 24 April, 2011
Prompt/Challenge: LJ comm XDisneyDreamers' Challenge #9: Chocolate
Disclaimer: Shrek, Puss in Boots, Donkey, Fiona, Dragon, Gingy, and all other characters mentioned within except the Easter Rabbit are © & TM DreamWorks, not the author; are used without permission; and may not be used without permission. The Easter Bunny is © & TM himself, as all are legendary but true creatures, and may not be used or abused without permission though he often is. This is another of those cases, but I'd like to think I painted in him a better light than some. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

He ambled down the forest lane, taking pleasure in the quiet serenity that surrounded him and knowing all the while that it wouldn't last. Despite his Ogre blood, Shrek had always hunted peace and relative quiet which was part of the reason why he had lived by himself most of his life, shutting out the villagers and all the other fairy tale beings of his world to remain by himself. He'd learned long ago that with other beings, and especially with people, came trouble, strife, and drama, and so all he wanted was to live by himself and to have his own peace of mind and quiet at his hut.

That had all changed when he'd met the love of his life and his best friend. He'd been a bit lonely before meeting them, but it wasn't until encountering them that he'd actually been forced to face that fact. He'd been alone in the world, and they had offered him love and friendship, two things that he, as an Ogre, had thought that he'd never be able to have. They had both loved him unabashedly in their own ways, and Shrek, despite his strong urges to stick to what he knew and was already comfortable with, had finally allowed them not only into his life but into his heart.

He'd known that having a family would bring more drama and noise into his world, but he had welcomed it. He had grown tired of the quietness and looked forward to raucous laughter, tall jokes, and slurpy kisses, but he had not truly anticipated all the trouble that would come with loving a Princess. If it wasn't protecting her kingdom or saving their family, it was the small things that Fiona raved about and with which she drove Shrek up the proverbial, mud-slimed wall. The slime trekking through their home contained too much brown and not enough green. He hadn't changed their babies' diapers frequently enough, or he'd forgotten to feed one of them. He'd missed a birthday or gotten her a present that wasn't quite what she wanted.

It was all something, he thought with a heavy sigh and a slump of his hefty shoulders, and though he'd not give anything at all for his family, he was, at times, quite exhausted of the expectations his wife placed upon him. He was, after all, only an Ogre. How was he to remember all the things she expected of him? How was he supposed to know to pick up on feminine wiles and hints, as Donkey called them?

The thought of his best friend had Shrek longing for his companionship. He missed having Donkey and Puss around, but Puss was laid up at the brothel, enjoying the Spring season's first batch of homegrown catnip, and Donkey was with his family. Sometimes Shrek wished he had married Dragon and left Fiona for Donkey. At least, Dragon didn't place impossible expectations on Donkey as Fiona did far too often on him and had again done so today. How in the heck was he supposed to find the Easter bunny?! he thought, fuming and blowing steam out of his ears. The blasted rabbit could be anywhere!

Shrek stopped suddenly, his ears perking up as the steam evaporated from them at the sound of a voice singing. It was husky and dripped with sexuality and masculinity. He smiled; it could only belong to one guy! He hurried forward just as he heard another voice that not only brought immediate recognition but also a smile from him. He rounded the corner, shooting pass the lane that he had intended to turn down, and grinned broadly when he spotted his best friends.

Puss wavered a little bit as he swept his feathered cap off of his head and made a bow. Donkey's long ears caught the cat's soft hiccup, and he nudged him from behind, catching him just as he would have otherwise fallen. "A fine Spring day to you, Shrek," Puss spoke, and Shrek smiled, his eyes twinkling, as he noted the toll the catnip had taken upon his valiant friend.

"Catnip was that good, huh?"

Puss ran his fingers along his whiskers as he purred, "It was some of the finest grass with which the Gods have ever blessed us."

Shrek's grin just grew. He often thought about trying catnip from the reactions that it took on his friend, but he'd yet to slip away from Fiona at the right time to be able to indulge in the naturally grown herb. "What's got you two out?" he queried. "I thought you were spending the holiday with your family," he added, looking at Donkey. Then he shot Puss a grin. "And I'm surprised you're even walking."

"Oh, not only can I walk and strut," Puss exclaimed, drawing his sword, "but I can fight as well! Point me at your enemy, and I shall make them pray for mercy from Puss in Boots!" He cut through the air with his sword and stumbled again a bit, but Donkey was still behind, quietly providing him the wall of support that he needed though he'd never admit to his need.

"Dragon sent me out," Donkey told Shrek, "to, huh, look for the Easter bunny."

"So he's not hit your home either, aye?"

"Nope."

"That enchanted rabbit has yet to show his whiskery face upon the brothel's doorstep either. It has the ladies and gents quite concerned with where about their chocolate has gone. They, of course, turned their concerns to my caring ears, and after giving them each a shoulder to cry upon, I promised to find said rabbit and deliver him to them."

"Yeah," Donkey said, nodding and bouncing up and down, "'bout the same here. I told Dragon I'd find him, but ya know, I ain't got clue one how to do it!" He gave Shrek a long, studying look before asking, "How do ya find the Easter bunny? He could be anywhere in the world! He travels the whole world in one day, ya know!"

Shrek nodded his agreement. "So they say."

"Yesss," Puss agreed, "but every journey starts somewhere, and every journeyer must take a rest on occasion. There is one of our friends whom I have not seen today, and I expect that he may well have the answer we seek."

Shrek again nodded; he'd been thinking the same thing after checking with everybody else he knew in town. "Gingy."

"Ya think Gingy knows where the Easter bunny is? He's gingerbread and Christmas, not chocolate and Easter!"

"Still birds of a feather flock together," Puss purred dangerously, "and it is up to us to defeather them appropriately and place their downed carcasses upon our lovers' tables."

Shrek and Donkey raised their eyebrows and looked at each other. Donkey shrugged when he saw Shrek's questioning look. "Don't ask me," he told him. "He's your pussycat, remember!"

Puss' green eyes flared with fury, and he drew his sword again, lashing out at the empty air. "I am no one's pussycat!" he announced with valor. "I am the greatest warrior there has ever been, the most heroic feline ever to walk the earth! I am Puss in Boots!"

"Yeah, yeah," Shrek said, "we know you're . . . " His voice trailed off as something deliciously sweet met his nose. He turned toward the scent and began to follow it, calling back to his friends, "Come on, lads. I think we have our first clue."

He followed the scent with Donkey plodding beside him and Puss taking up their rear, stabbing invisible enemies and prattling on about his independence, valor, and superiority. Shrek just rolled his eyes and kept following the scent. His stomach rumbled. He'd not even realized he was hungry until now, but these sweet scents were so wonderful that he could scarcely wait to find the food and devour it. He walked onward until, suddenly, Donkey shot out ahead of them.

"Hey, Shrek!" he called, and for a moment, Shrek remembered the pancakes that had almost spelled his friend's doom.

"Donkey," he warned, hurrying to catch up to him and holding a hand out as though to stop him from making whatever mistake he was about to make, "be careful! Don't eat anything!"

"I ain't gonna eat 'em," Donkey said, his tail whishing through the air as he pranced on his hind hooves, "but they sure do smell good! Look out here, Shrek!"

Shrek came to stand beside Donkey, who had his front legs hooked onto the top post of a wooden fence. He gazed out at the fields that stretched beyond them as far as their eyes could see and let out a startled breath at the lovely sight before them. "Animal crackers!" Donkey exclaimed, his tail whisking joyously about, grinning from ear to ear, and Shrek nodded mutely. Stretched before them, laying leisurely in the Spring sun or chasing each other in games of tag, were countless living cookies in the shape of every animal Shrek had ever seen. He slowly shook his green head in amazement.

Puss had fallen silent, and Shrek did not even realize that his feline friend stood beside them until he heard him breath softly, "Wow!" His green eyes were wide and round with his shock, and he gazed upon the beautiful scene with the same reverent surprise that was reflected in Shrek's and Donkey's huge eyes. His pointed, feline ears twitched back and forward as he watched the animal crackers before speaking again simply, "They are . . . fantastic!" His sparkling, green eyes and smiling, furry face shone with his appreciation of the awesome sight and wondrous animals laying out before them. He was usually far more eloquent, but he'd never seen a thing like this before in all of his many, countless adventures and could not think of a better word to describe the scene before them.

"They're awesome!" Donkey breathed, wriggling from the tip of his ears to the tip of his tail.

"Yeah," Shrek agreed, "but who did this?"

"There is a hut atop the hill in the center of the fields," Puss announced, bringing the others' attention to a small dot off in the distance. His eyes narrowed as he placed his cap back onto his head and drew his thumb and forefinger across his black brim. "I suggest," he purred, "that we investigate the owner of this land and learn their secrets."

"I agree," Shrek said, and the trio headed off together, walking down the midst of the pastures and watching the animal crackers in complete amazement. Despite their differences, every one of the enchanted cookies were living peacefully together. Lion crackers lay with lamb cookies, and some of the smaller crackers were playing tag with an alligator cookie's long tail. Donkey stopped when a tiny, kitten cracker stumbled out of the fence and into his path. "Hey, cute, little fellow," he said as Shrek and Puss held completely still. Donkey lowered his face and was about to rub his face against the cookie's when the kitten gave a frightened mewl.

"You're scaring him!" Puss exclaimed, jumping beside Donkey and the kitten. "Lift your head! He's frightened!"

Roars suddenly filled the air, and though all three of the friends looked up, it was Shrek who spoke the obvious. "Huh, guys," he said, his green ears and pudgy hands twisting nervously, "I think we have trouble."

Every cookie in the land was now looking directly at them, but whereas the cookies who had been created in the designs of gentler animals had fallen away from the gate and stood, huddling, in the midst of the pastures, the larger cookies, those in the shapes of tigers, lions, bears, and other carnivorous animals, including the solitary gator cookie, were now looking directly at them.

"He meant no harm!" Puss said, reaching his hands out before him. Slowly, he stooped toward the kitten cracker, intending to lift the innocent and carry it bravely forward to the rest of its family, when the kitten cried out again and promptly raced away from his reaching grasp. Puss gulped as he looked up and saw the kitten cracker peeking back at him from behind one of the lion crackers. This particular beast had a crown made into its crust, and Puss knew immediately that that lion was the leader of all of the animal crackers here. "Go," he said, his long tail swishing through the air as he placed himself between Shrek and Donkey and the animal crackers on one side. "Go and find the owner of these lands."

"They can't hurt us -- " Shrek started to point out only to be cut off by Donkey.

"No, but we can them," Donkey told him, "and do you really want to?"

"Go!" Puss announced again as the protective animal crackers again gave a collective roar. "I shall keep them at bay!" He drew neither his sword nor his claws; he'd not use them unless he needed them.

Shrek nodded once, and then he and Donkey began to run up the curling pathway. They had almost reached the hut when the little house's door swung open and out came a being they both recognized. "Gingy!" they exclaimed together in equal surprise.

Gingy stared at them, his little, red mouth open in a perfectly round shape. A button popped off of his gingerbread crust, and for a change, he did not bother to chase after the gumdrop. "What are you doing here?!" he cried, trying to ignore the other gumdrop behind him.

"We came looking for you!" Donkey exclaimed.

"Are they yours?" Shrek demanded, jerking a green thumb back to the pastures of animal crackers.

"They're friends of mine," Gingy answered, looking nervously around as though he'd been caught red-handed doing something horrible.

"Call them off," Shrek demanded, "before they get hurt."

"Why would they get hurt?" Gingy questioned. "What happened?"

His last word was almost completely drowned out by another roar rising from the fields. "Just do it!" Shrek commanded. "We meant them no harm, and we'll explain later. Stop them before Puss has to hurt them!"

Gingy hurried forward, and Shrek and Donkey turned after him, watching as he called his animal cracker friends to a stand still. Shrek caught movement out of the corner of his eye and turned around just in time to see the back of something big and chocolaty hopping around the corner of Gingy's little, gingerbread house. He stared at the being who was every bit as tall as he for a long moment before the rabbit, whose little, bunny tail had a piece missing out of it that just so happened to be curved in the shape of a bite, had almost hopped completely out of sight before realizing exactly what he was looking at. "STOP RIGHT THERE!" he commanded and gave chase.

"Shrek?" Donkey asked, watching his friend run off.

"IT'S THE EASTER BUNNY!" Shrek called back, not pausing in his chase, and Donkey took off after his friend and the enchanted bunny for whom they'd been searching all day.

Shrek cornered the creature against the corner of Gingy's house. He'd never seen an animal like the Easter Bunny before, and his surprise was swallowed only by his determination to give Fiona and their children what they'd been screaming for all morning. The bunny, who was covered entirely, from the tips of his long, rabbit ears to the bottoms of his big feet, in chocolate, shivered. He shook all over, his yellow eyes huge and round in his chocolate face. Jelly beans dropped behind him, and chocolate slipped down his body.

He was terrified, Shrek realized, but he refused to back down. He would give his wife and their children the Easter for which they shrieked. Squaring his shoulders and reminding himself that he was a big, bad Ogre, Shrek began to advance on the shaking, quivering rabbit, but suddenly Gingy was there, placing himself in between Shrek and his prey and holding up his tiny, cookie hands. "STOP RIGHT THERE!" he commanded.

"Gingy," Shrek bit out, "I've been hunting for this rabbit all day, and he's been hiding here!"

"Yes, he has," Gingy exclaimed, "because he almost got eaten today!"

"He's an Easter rabbit -- heck," Shrek fumbled, "he's the Easter Bunny, and he's chocolate to boot!"

"And I'm a cookie! Do you want to eat me too?!"

"O-Of course not." Shrek hesitated. He'd never looked at the Easter bunny that way before. "But . . . But you don't go taking candies and chocolates to every house every year either!"

"No, and I tried to tell E.B. it wasn't a good idea." Gingy glared at the cowering bunny. "But he wouldn't listen to me. He's got a whole basket inside; it's almost as big as he is. Go take it and pass it out, but leave him alone."

Shrek glared at the cowering rabbit. He couldn't believe all the trouble he'd been put through today over the candies and chocolates to which the scared witless bunny had gotten the world accustomed!

"Shrek . . . " Puss urged, twisting his hat in his furry, orange hands. "Purrhaps it would be best if we did accept Gingy's advice. After all, we would not eat him or the animal cookies behind us. What difference does it make," he asked, his ears, tail, and whiskers twitching, "if our friend is gingerbread, cookie, or chocolate? Let him have his life. We will take his goods and celebrate our own lives, and he can celebrate his." His long, furry tail swished through the air, and his feline, green eyes pleaded with Shrek to listen to reasoning.

"Come on, Shrek," Donkey agreed, "let's just get the chocolates and go home."

"Fine," Shrek bit out at last, "but next time," he demanded, glowering at Gingy and the Easter Rabbit, "make sure he does his job! I don't want to hear the kids screaming for candy and Fiona yelling about her rabbit ears again!"

The bunny twitched all over as he shook his head slowly in agreement. Gingy thought of trying to explain to Shrek that there was more than one Easter Rabbit and that this particular, scared bunny was simply the one who had been instructed to deal with their area of the realms for this holiday. He'd persuade him to retire this season, and some one else could take over next season.

"Fine," he agreed at last. Then he turned his tiny, cookie back to his friends and focused his attention on the friend who was one of the incredibly rare individuals in all the realms like he himself, and who was still so terrified that he continued to drop jelly beans left and right and shake off his own chocolate. He was quaking, and melting himself in his horror.

Gingy went over, took the rabbit's trembling hand, and patted his chocolate flesh that was still dripping because of his immense fear. "It's okay," he reassured him, turning his back to his friends. "They're not going to eat you. You're safe here, just like I told you. We're all safe here."

Shrek took one last, long look at the chocolate Easter bunny and the gingerbread cookie whom he considered to be one of his dearest friends and then trailed after his best friends, who had already raced in and out of Gingy's house and were now carrying a humongous Easter basket between the two of them. Puss was perched on top of Donkey's back, carefully holding the basket in place, as they made their way back toward town. Shrek quickly caught up to them just as the basket was trying again to slip off of Donkey's bouncing back. He grasped the rim of the basket, and his stomach rumbled in desire as he saw all the goodies it held. He started to filch out a piece but then stopped as he felt like every eye in the place was upon him. He looked around at the animal crackers, offered a sheepish grin, and withdrew his hand. He'd wait until later to eat.

Puss nodded in silent acceptance, his green eyes glowing with approval. "A fine decision, my friend," he whispered, his furry, pointed ears twitching and long, orange tail swishing. "We shall divide the goods evenly amongst us and devour them when we are far from here."

The trio watched the animal crackers carefully as they walked back down the forest lane, and the crackers, in turned, surveyed them warily. Shrek shook his head as they left the enchanted kingdom within their own enchanted kingdom behind them. "Wow," he said. "Just . . . " He tried to find a better word to describe the adventure they had just shared this fine Spring morning but came up short. Nothing could possibly describe the miracles and oddities that they had born witness to this day. "Just . . . " He shook his head again and shrugged his massive shoulders. "Wow!"

"Yeah," Donkey agreed, excitedly and joyously bouncing up and down on his hooves, "who would've thought Gingy would have all that?"

Puss' tail swished through the cool, Spring air. "Or that such a small soul has saved so many lives?" He purred in thought, and Shrek smiled.

"It's enchanting," he agreed, "but then so are we. We have our own enchantments waiting for us. Go home, boys, and enjoy!" Taking his share of the candies and chocolates, he headed forward to his own home, eager to get his arms wrapped around his beloved wife again and celebrate the turning of the season with his family. Chocolate, gingerbread, cookie, or flesh, they were all blessed, and he had every intention of making sure their lives stayed that way for all of them. No matter the trouble or noise it brought into his life, it would always be worth it.

He was smiling and whistling as he entered the hut he called home. "Happy Easter!" He was immediately surrounded by his babies grabbing hold of his legs and the sweets, and as they ran off with their prizes, he found himself alone again until Fiona moved forward. The sunlight filtering into their hut glistened on her green skin and fiery, red hair, and Shrek's smile grew with the familiar catch of his breath that happened every time his beautiful wife was near. He brought out a large, chocolate, and purely fake rabbit that he'd been hiding in his vest and offered it to her. "Happy Easter!"

Fiona took the chocolate, but then she threw her arms around her husband and held him tightly. "Happy Easter, Shrek!" she answered and kissed him. Shrek wrapped his arms around her smaller waist and held her tightly and dearly to him as he returned her kiss in full. Their lives were truly enchanted, he thought again, and despite the trouble and occasional strife, he'd not have it any other way. "Happy Easter, Fiona," he spoke against her loving lips and silently thanked whoever was looking out for him and his family and had given him such wonderful, enchanted miracles to call his own.

He kissed her again, and all the sweets he'd ever wanted again, he realized, were right there in her luscious lips. After seeing the miracles he'd witnessed today, he had no further need or desire for other sweets, but Fiona was already all he needed any way. He showed her that in his every touch and caress and pledged his undying love to her alone for always and beyond with the kisses he reigned upon her upturned, loving mouth. "I love you!"

"I love you, too, Shrek!" Fiona answered and kissed him again. She couldn't wait until they could put their little ones to bed; then she'd really show her husband an enchantment and thank him for all he did for them. She kissed him once more, and then, together, hand in hand, they went to celebrate the holiday with their family.

The End