Ace Ventura: Ace/Kat 2/2
Jun. 8th, 2013 12:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
katleeptTitle: "Of Trolls and Leprechauns"
Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: R due to violence
Summary:
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Het
Word Count (excluding heading): 5,417
Feedback: Yes, please!
Archive: WWOMB, FF.net -- Anybody else, ask, and I'll probably grant permission.
Timeline: Follows the author's "The First Time He Met His 'Demon' Woman", "Close Encounters", "Third Time's A Charm", "Four Fallen", "Full Moon Rising", and "Where Love Never Ends"
Disclaimer: Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, and Spike are © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Pet Detective Kathleen "Kat" O'Hara, Captain, the rest of the animal characters mentioned within, and everything else is © & TM the author; none of these characters may be used without permission. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Ace stooped, his fingers extending as far underneath the mailbox as he could get them without actually getting down on all fours. The puppy whined and scurried further underneath the box, his tail tucked underneath him. "What's a matter, little fellow?" Ace asked. "I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'd never hurt you or let anybody else hurt you ever again."
"Oh no, I wouldn't." Ace continued crooning to the frightened pup as he dropped to his knees before him. "Ace is a good guy. Uh-huh. Ace is a good boy, and so are you. I can tell," he said with a huge grin.
The terror in the little puppy's big, brown eyes tore at Ace's heart, and he began to talk to him in canine language, a trick that had always helped him with dogs before. He wriggled his body as he spoke, but still it seemed to do no good as the puppy stayed where he was, curled up into the smallest ball he could possibly make himself. The sun was setting and people were hurrying home all about them when Ace turned around, dropped his striped pants, and offered the pup his bared bum to smell.
Women shrieked and ran far away from him. One elderly, black man attempted to poke at Ace with his umbrella. The Pet Detective promptly turned from whimpering reassuringly to the pup to barking like mad at the man. The old man dropped his umbrella and raced away with one hand clamping his cap to his balding head.
Ace turned back around without bothering to pull his pants back up and looked again at the scared witless puppy. Each time he'd reached for him, the pup had scurried out of his reach; he tried again with the same result. Ace cocked his head to the side as he studied the puppy. It had been a long time since he'd had this much trouble getting a dog to come to him, or any other animal for that matter.
Ace slid down on the hard concrete until he was laying on his belly. All the while, he kept talking to the pup in his own language, telling him what a good boy he was, how Ace was sorry for everything that had happened to him since he'd been thrown out on the streets by some heartless human, and what great care he would take of him if he'd just give him the chance and come home with him. Ever so slowly, he reached his hands underneath the mailbox. He was really beginning to wish he could just blast the confounded contraption out of existence, but he knew doing anything to the box would just scare the poor puppy more.
"Excuse me, sir, would you mind if I just leaned over you and dropped this in the mail?" The words were barely out of the woman's mouth before Ace turned on her, barking ferociously and angling his gnashing teeth at her ankle. "Well I never!" she cried, throwing up her skirts and fleeing.
"You should!" Ace barked after her before turning his attention back to the puppy who was now whining. He was in the midst of asking him if he wouldn't really like to go somewhere where he'd be safe from all the crazy humans when his horn started blowing.
Ace looked up at his pile of a beaten up and broken down car, and his jaw slackened in surprise. Every animal in the small car was having a complete fit! It was his primate partner, Spike, who was attached to the horn. All the animals' fur was risen on end, and the cats were scratching frantically at the glass. The ram he'd saved earlier was running back and forth over his seats and butting the windshields with his horns. Cracks splintered through the glass each time he hit them.
"CUT IT OUT!" Ace yelled, but they continued. Spike waved at him, but when Ace just glared in response, the cappuccino monkey slid his window down, batted the others off of it, stuck his tiny head out of the open window, and screeched at Ace, telling the bewildered Detective in no uncertain terms that they had to go right then.
"I CAN'T LEAVE SPOT!"
"{NOT ANOTHER SPOT!}" was Spike's reply.
"FOR NOW HE IS! HE'S TOO SCARED TO EVEN TELL ME HIS NAME, AND HE'S ALREADY EATEN ALL MY DOG BISCUITS!"
"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR NAMES OR BISCUITS! WE HAVE TO GO NOW!"
"I'M NOT LEAVING HIM!" Ace shot back even as he began to hear calls from the other scared animals within his small car. Chills raced up and down Ventura's spine as he listened to the animals talking about death, dying, monsters, and how if he didn't come right then, he, who had promised them all saving and nothing but happiness and protection from that day forward, would have doomed them all.
"I CAN'T LEAVE HIM!" Ace repeated. Spike jumped out of the window and scampered over to him, his arms held in such an alert position as to tell Ace that he clearly meant business and would not be taking no for an answer. Ace was relieved that the ram was the swiftest to follow Spike as his massive, wooly bulk promptly got stuck and thereby blocked the other animals from fleeing into the Hell the city was to a poor, defenseless animal. Spike raced over the sidewalk, leapt through the air, grasped Ace's arm, and began pulling at him with all his might. "{WE HAVE TO GO!}" he chattered at the top of his primate lungs. "{WE HAVE TO GO NOW!}"
The hairs on Ace's arms and the back of his neck were now standing on end. Thunder, or at least what he thought was thunder, rumbled deafeningly. He looked to the mouth of a nearby alleyway, his question clear upon his face. Why did the thunder seem to be coming from there? And why was it thundering at all when there hadn't been a cloud in the sky when the sun had set a few minutes ago?
"{NO, ACE!}" Spike screeched. "{NO HERO! NOT NOW! LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY, SAVE ANOTHER ANIMAL!}" But Ace's curiosity was already growing by leaps and bounds, and a curious Pet Detective is a dangerous thing. Then he heard the mewl of a cat wailing from the alley, and he quickly pulled his pants back up, buttoned them, turned, and ran right toward the danger that had all his animal friends spooked. For a change, Ace could not tell if the cat was scared, hurt, or purrhaps only pissed, but where there was an animal in need, Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, would always be there.
He ran with Spike clinging to his right leg and using all his monkey strength to try to slow him down. When he was only a few feet into the alley, Ace suddenly slammed on his brakes. "SHIT!" he cursed. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!"
The question had barely left his mouth when a human body fell at his feet. He started to reach out, then snatched his hand away when a vicious snarl recoiled from the fallen woman. He knew then who she was before she ever lifted her head.
Pet Detective Kat O'Hara looked directly at Ace when she sprang back to her booted feet. Emerald fire burned in her eyes and scorched him straight through to his very soul. "Get 'em an' get oot," she commanded.
"Who? What?" Ace questioned even as she turned her gaze back onto the monster who had thrown her off of him as though she was nothing more than a pesky flea. Fleas really could be pains, Ace knew, but for a flea to have to really bother this stinky behemoth, it would have to be the size of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
The creature took two steps, and the alley shook with its movement. Ace realized that the sounds of the beast's footsteps was what he had mistaken for thunder earlier. His skin crawled as slime dripped off of the monster. It was covered in a thick, green skin full of warts, and two long tusks with some kind of icky liquid Ace didn't care to consider the identity of dripping off of them protruded from his face. "WHAT IS THAT THING?!" he called to the feisty redhead as he struggled to keep standing and the creature continued to lumber toward them.
It was completely green, and Ace suddenly remembered why he'd chosen to wear the shirt he had on now which was covered with shamrocks and four-leaf clovers. "IS IT SOME KIND OF LEPRECHAUN OR SOMETHING?"
The Look Kat shot him sizzled even more than the fireballs building in her hands. "'TIS A TROLL, YE BLOODY MORON! NOW SHUT YER GOB AN' GET TAE WORK SAVIN' 'EM!"
Ace followed her meaningful glance, and his heart immediately ached for there, nestled at the mouth of the alley, were two small and furry families. Two grown, raggedy cats stood at their front, their backs arched, their fur fluffed, and their claws unsheathed and gleaming at the ready but pure terror in their beautiful eyes. Behind the queen and tom, kittens and mice cowered, their tiny bodies trembling as they nestled together on the cold, hard pavement. Ace blinked back a mixture of surprise and tears. What kind of miracle had Kat worked here to have alley cats and mice grouping together for safety?
Standing guard in front of the families was a cat who Ace had come to recognize well over the last several months. He appeared, to the unknowing eye, to be nothing more than another alley cat, but Ace knew that he was a truly remarkable feline indeed and in possession of far more intelligence, bravery, and spirit than most idiotic humans would ever give a cat credit for having. As Ace looked at Kat's right-hand man whom he knew only as Captain, he couldn't help wishing that his own partner could be a little braver instead of persistently pulling at him and screeching that they had best run away before they became the Troll's dinner.
"DAMN IT, VENTURA!" Kat snarled. "DI NAE JUST STAND THERE GAWKIN'! GET 'EM OUT O' HERE OR I'LL FRY YER ASS WHEN I'M DONE FRYIN' HIS!"
Ace grinned at her. "IF YOU WERE GONNA FRY MY ASS, KAT, YA WOULD'VE DONE SO A LONG TIME AGO, BUT SINCE YOU ASKED SO NICELY . . . " He had to yell to be heard over the stomping of the Troll.
Her emerald eyes flashed at him as she growled, "SHUT YER YAP AN' GET TAE IT 'FORE'N HE GETS HERE, YE DUMBASS!"
His grin grew to reveal more of his white teeth. "THANKS FOR NOTICING." He winked at her. "I KNEW YA HAD TO LIKE ME AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT."
Kat screeched her outrage, but before she could turn on him, the Troll, who had stopped to sniff the air, turned toward the shaking, terrified huddle of animals. Captain hissed, and Kat whirled back around in a flash of black clothes, red hair and fire, and white flesh. Fire pulsed from her fingertips, and fireballs glowed in her hands. Ace watched, transfixed by her deadly beauty, as she charged.
She slammed fireballs into both of the Troll's massive, slimy shoulders, and it howled in pain. Her blows forced him to stumble back as she ran forward, and she did not grant him even a second to attempt a recovery before hurling two fresh fireballs into his groin area. The dirty loincloth he wore, which, to the best that Ace could tell, was made of rotten fur, immediately went up in smoke, and the Troll screamed in agonizing pain.
Ace was still shuddering in sympathy for his fellow male's groin when a rugged voice that had spent many years calling orders at sea yowled at him. "DID YE NAE HEAR TH' LASS, LAD? GET YER BLOODY ASS MOVIN' ALREADY! I DIN'T HA'E OPPOSABLE THUMBS, MAN, AN' I CAN NAE CARRY 'EM ALL MESELF!"
Captain picked one of the kittens up and ran, his raggedy tail standing at alert as though it were a flag, tried, tattered, and true, leading the way. The queen and tom paused to nuzzle their babies for what they feared might be the last time. Ace's heart tore at the emotions he saw shining in her blue orbs and his green eyes, and at last he moved. The tom picked up a kitten and ran, following the path Captain had taken, but still the queen lingered beside her remaining kittens. She mewed pitifully at Ace when he arrived, and he could clearly see the tears in her crystal blue eyes. "{Please save my babies! Don't let them die!}" she wailed.
He bent and stroked her head reassuringly as he continued to ignore Spike's determined pulls at his leg. "Don't worry," he told her. "They're safe now that I'm here."
The Troll suddenly let out a massive roar, and Ace's heart leapt into his throat. "KAT!" He did not even realize that he screamed her name as he watched her body sail through the air and hit the ground. For one dreadful moment in which the whole world seemed to stand still for Ace as the moments he had been lucky enough to share with the beautiful and courageous woman flashed in front of his eyes in vibrant color, Ace thought she would not rise again, but then her head lifted and she moaned. His heart jumped. Relief and hope flooded his soul, and he felt a tingle of something he refused to acknowledge. Her lovely face was cut and bleeding from hitting the pavement, but he saw as she pushed herself to her booted feet that her hands were already beginning to glow anew.
Ace grinned even as the Troll stumbled toward them, swiping at the air with his long, yellowed claws and fists the size of small boulders. Kat had already done a number, Ace noted, not only on his arms, legs, and groin but also on his eyes. Burns and welts were growing all over his body, and blood poured from his eyes. If she had been mad before, Ace knew Kat was furious now.
Ace gave the Troll a raspberry even as he instinctively felt the felines and mice shivering behind him. Spike clambered up his body and attached himself to his head. "YOU'RE GONNA GET IT NOW!" he chided the monster and stuck out his tongue again.
Kat yowled as she ran, leapt through the air, and landed on the Troll's back. He bucked as he felt her legs wrap around one of the warty bulges on his back and then howled again in pain as she dug her fingernails into his slimy flesh. Everywhere her hands touched, fire scorched his body, and as she brought her fingernails down his back, the fire poured into the holes she made.
Ace grimaced and whirled back around, presenting his back to the Troll, who was being rode by the feistiest, toughest, and most courageous woman he had ever known. Spike jumped down as Ace opened his arms. The mother cat picked up one of her babies while Spike scooped two of the tiny, trembling forms into his small arms. Ace gathered the two remaining kittens and mice into his arms, and the lot of them beat a hasty retreat from the alley. Ace sent the animals ahead of him and took up the rear as they ran, just in case the Troll should somehow slip pass Kat's fierce guard.
In his rush to get Spike, the felines, and mice to safety, Ace forgot about the puppy as he ran pass the mailbox. The pup yipped and rushed out from under the mailbox. He followed them, his tail still tucked between his legs, and barked at Ace to slow up. Ace cast a glance over his thin shoulder at the innocent he had dubbed Spot that afternoon for the big, brown spot on his furry back and yipped at him to hurry. The puppy redoubled his speed and soon caught up.
Ace and company reached the Pet Detective's car only to find Captain, the tom, and the kittens they had carried nowhere in sight. The ram still filled Ace's window, and the other animals had all plastered themselves as flat as they possibly could into the floorboards to keep from being noticed.
A mew caught Ace's attention, and he turned to it. "O'er 'ere!" Captain called, and Ace grinned at the irony that Kat's battered, brown Oldsmobile was parked next to his car that had clearly weathered even more attacks from angry humans. Purrhaps it was not more, he thought. Maybe it was just that she could field off her attackers better.
He walked over, stumbling as the queen cut right in front of his sneakered feet. She leapt into the open window, dropped her kitten carefully into the seat, and lovingly rubbed her furry head against her mate's. For just a split moment, Ace found himself wishing that he could have a woman who would be so happy to see him.
He had barely put the little ones he carried into the front seat when an earthquake, or at least what felt like a quake, shook the ground beneath them. Ace stumbled and clutched Kat's door to keep from falling. It was only then that he noticed that her car, like his own, was also filled a menagerie of animals. There were several cats and kittens, a few dogs, two turtles and several fish swimming in buckets filled with water in the back floorboards, a hamster, a couple of porcupines, a frog jumping around, a skunk who had her tail raised instinctively -- Ace breathed a quiet sigh of relief that he didn't smell anything yet --, one of the cutest kits he'd ever seen, and even a barn owl.
There may have been even more animals, but Ace did not get a chance to see as Captain, yowling Kat's name at the top of his lungs, barreled out of the car, over Ace, and across the pavement. Ace followed him with eyes made wide by fear, calling at the animals to stay still and not make a sound or any movement until he appeared where they could see him and told them otherwise. "SPIKE," he yelled before ducking behind Captain into the alley, "IF I DON'T COME BACK, TAKE CARE OF THEM!"
He didn't know exactly what had scared Captain so badly that every strand of fur on the old tabby's back was standing on end and his green eyes were filled with heart-stricken terror, but he knew it had to be extremely bad. His own skin paled and his eyes shot wide at the scene he was met with for the Troll was now rolling on the ground with Kat underneath him. "KAT!" the man and cat screamed as one.
"ARE THEY SAFE?" she called back, and tears tightened in Ace's throat, forming a ball of emotions that threatened to choke him.
"AYE, DARLIN'," Captain assured her. Ace knew, without looking at the old tom, that the cat was crying. He could hear his brave heart breaking in every syllable of the phrase.
"THEN GET . . . OOT . . . O' . . . HERE . . . " Her words were now being muffled as the Troll repeatedly knocked his own sizzling back, with her beneath him, into the pavement. "TAKE . . . ME LIFE . . . AN' . . . GI . . . VENTURA . . . . . . PLEASE!"
Part of him knew he should listen to her, but the rest of him knew he could not leave her. He could neither hear all that she was saying nor understand all that he heard, but he knew, in his heart, that she wanted him to take Captain and leave. "THAT 'TWILL NAE BE HAPPENIN', KAT," he called in a poor imitation of her natural brogue that always quickened his heartbeat and stirred his fire.
"PLEASE!" her voice broke as the Troll slammed her face down into the pavement.
"KAT!" Captain broke into a run, his every claw at the ready. He sprang through the air before Ace could even hope to move to stop him and grasped hold of the Troll's head with all twenty claws. Unfortunately, the Troll's hair was extremely slippery from never being washed, and when he shook his head, Captain was thrown off.
Ace ran, stripping out of his shirt as he did so. He jumped; threw his shirt around Captain, whose claws immediately embedded in the white and green fabric; and pulled him to him. The cat was trembling when Ace wrapped his arms around him, and the man swallowed hard. Heartache and terror radiated from the old tom as he lifted his ancient, green eyes to look beggingly into Ace's eyes, and from there, into his very soul. "Save 'er," he pleaded. "Please save 'er! She 'tis me life!"
Ace turned, and a scream pelted out of his lungs. It was the cry of the jungle that he had first learned from watching old Tarzan movies. He screamed and screamed until the Troll grunted and looked up at him. He grunted and started to get up.
Ace laid Captain on the ground, and without even giving one thought to his half-naked, weaponless status, ran. He ran straight at the Troll, stopping only when he stood directly in front of him. Then he hit him with both fists and all the strength he possessed.
Pain shot through Ace's hands, and a shrill, feminine scream broke from his mouth before he could stop it. The Troll grunted again, then swatted the Pet Detective away as though he were no more than a bothersome fly.
A strained voice from below murmured, "Ye should nae ha'e done tha'," and that was the only warning the Troll received before a volcano seemed to erupt underneath him.
Ace watched as a steady stream of fire was released upon the Troll. He howled in agony as his flesh was slowly melted off of his bones, and the moment there was nothing but bones left, the fire ceased, pulling back into Kat's battered body. It gave a last sizzling pop before vanishing completely, and she moaned.
Captain raced immediately to his mistress' side and started tenderly licking her face. Her hand fluttered as she tried to pet him before falling to her side. The tabby moved to her hand and gently stroked her with the top of his furry head. He purred deeply, trying to surround her with the reassurance of the deep, resonant sound.
Ace groaned as he forced himself to stand. Every inch of his body hurt while every single one of his brain cells screamed with questions. Trolls were real! Did that mean that everything else he'd ever heard about, all the other monsters of legend, also existed? Why were he and Kat the only humans to fight the Troll? Why didn't the world know of their existence? Where were the cops, the sirens, the screaming citizens that had always accompanied every big fight Ace had ever been in in America up until now? Had he finally gone, completely, irreversibly insane? Was Kat crazy too? And how badly hurt was the beautiful, heroic Pet Detective Kat O'Hara, a woman who was truly after his heart more than any other he'd ever met even if she didn't want to be?
Captain wasn't yowling or crying openly, so that had to be a good sign. Ace scraped himself off of the brick wall and trudged over to where Kat lay in a six-foot long hole in the ground. "Hey, beautiful." The words almost stuck in his throat for he had, in truth, never seen her look worse. Her clothes were ripped, and for the first time, he found himself wondering why she was dressed all in black every time he saw her. Was she in mourning for some one? Had she loved a man and lost him to Death? Was that the true reason why she was always so furious at the world and all the humans in it, even him?
Bruises littered Kat's flesh, and chunks of her fiery red hair had been torn from her skull. So much blood was splattered over her body that he could not tell which was hers and which was the Troll's. Had the Troll bled red? He couldn't remember. Her foot was twisted, and he feared it might be broken.
He forced himself to smile, but soon his smile grew of its own accord. She was dirty, bloody, and beaten to a pulp, but still her beauty shone for she had risked everything to save a few animals and done so successfully. Truly Ace had never known another woman like her or even any one who could remotely come close. She was, without a doubt, the most beautiful human being he'd ever met.
"Need a hand, beautiful?" he asked, and this time he meant the endearment with his whole heart. She tried to speak, but coughing took hold of her and didn't release her until she spat up blood. Neither Captain nor Ace moved away as the coughing fit shook her. Instead Captain rubbed reassuringly against her side as he and Ace stood vigil.
Ace waited until she turned to spit, then stooped and gently rubbed what part of her back he could reach. He expected her to snatch away or cut him with condescending words, but instead she only looked at him in surprise. Her long hair fell over her face like a shield of fire, and he dared to softly brush it away. He leaned forward, and her emerald eyes widened in greater surprise before flashing in warning. His fingertips brushed the one clean spot on her cheek. She tried to speak, but words were still hard to come by. She growled instead.
He froze. Every inch of him ached to move onward and taste her sweet nectar. Part of him knew she could not fight him now, but the greater part of his heart, soul, and even mind wanted to earn this incredible woman's trust. He forced himself to pull back.
Kat attempted to stand, but her body trembled from weakness and pain. Ace caught her before she could fall. He surprised her again as his skinny arms wrapped gently around her and proved their strength by lifting her.
She knew she should fight him, but she was too weak to do so. All she wanted was to go home to her babies. Though it went against so many of the hard lessons that lift had taught her, Kat allowed Ace to carry her to her car.
They quickly arrived at her vehicle. As he stood there, holding her close to his wildly-beating heart and wondering what to do next, the golden Labrador in the back seat unlocked the car by wrapping her mouth around the knob and pulling up and then opened the door by pulling on the latch with her mouth. She scratched at the door until it swung open, then yipped at Ace as the other mammals scurried to new positions in the car.
Ace laid Kat gently down upon the seat. He gazed down at her, his worry clear upon his handsome, if different, face. "I'll go call an ambulance."
Captain jumped onto the seat beside Kat, and his striped tail cut through the air like a snake even as she growled swiftly, "Nae!"
"But you're hurt."
"Nae th' first time. Win't be th' last."
"You do this . . . kind of thing regularly?"
She smiled tiredly. "All th' time." Her eyes met his as Captain climbed to the front seat where most of the animals had moved to. "Thank ye," she spoke, and he could tell she was unaccustomed to expressing gratitude to a human, "fer th' help taeday. I'm nae sure I would've been able tae get 'em oot in time."
"You would have," he answered softly, captivated by the emotions he saw swimming in her enchanting, green eyes.
Ace shot up suddenly as the car started. He looked with an open mouth at where Captain was attached to the wheel, his tail wrapped carefully around the gear shift. The dog was at the pedals, and Ace realized that she, like the feisty and brave tomcat, took after her Mistress for her long, luxurious coat and smiling eyes made her nearly as beautiful as his Kat.
His Kat. Now why had that particular description crept into his mind? Kat would never be his. She blew him away every time he met her, but she'd never look at him as being much more than an obnoxious pain in the ass. Trying to shake off the forbidden thoughts, Ace commented, "I thought Spike was the only one who knew how to drive!"
Kat's grin grew, and he smiled back down at her as she slid further along the seat. "Ye're nae as dumb as ye look, Ventura, I'll gi' ye tha'."
There was a touch of wistfulness and perhaps of sadness over what would never be to his smile as Ace told her softly, "Happy Saint Patrick's Day, Kat."
She met his smile with one of her own, her eyes fixed on his. "Happy Saint Patty's Ace." Then her beautiful smile twisted into her usual grin of sarcasm. "An' fer th' record, 'twas a Leprechaun who ga'e me th' tip. If nae fer 'im, I would nae ha'e known about th' Troll, least nae in time tae stop th' bloody monster from takin' more innocent lives."
Ace's mouth hung open as the car started to pull out. Dumbfounded, he shut the door without saying a word. Trolls and Leprechauns were both real! And the woman being pulled away from him now fought the former on what seemed to him to be at least a semi-regular basis and won!
She was amazing! She was breath-taking! She was everything he'd ever wanted in a woman and more! Everything but his, and that was the way he knew it would be for the gallant and brave Kat O'Hara would never let a human get close to her.
He sighed as he turned back to his own car of rescuees. Spike chattered, waving at him to come on, and he realized, seeing his best friend hanging out of the window, that somehow the ram had gotten unstuck. Walking closer, he saw that Spike had boarded the puppy, who was now finally wagging his tail, and that all of the animals who had been so eager to flee earlier at the scent of the ghastly Troll were now waiting happily for him. Ace smiled. Kat was amazing, but all he really needed was his animals. He climbed aboard, and, with a Tarzan yell, sped on toward more adventures with his animal friends.
Still the thought of the beautiful and deadly Kat lingered in his heart and questions he wasn't sure he really wanted to know the answers to tugged at his mind. He wasn't sure what else she would teach him, but he knew he had more lessons to learn. He hoped he could survive them all.
One look at Spike playing with the joyfully yipping puppy in his passenger seat confirmed to Ace that he would. He would survive them and whatever else life threw at him for his family would never stop needing him and he would be there for them forever. Nothing could stop him.
Thinking of Kat once more and how proud she would make her home country and ancestors, Ace was reminded of the day and the party awaiting his furry family that night. "Happy Saint Patty's!" he told the animals cheerily.
Barks, meows, blats, and other sounds immediately filled his small car. He smiled. "It's a holiday to honor the Irish," he told them, "started to celebrate a Saint, but I know of an Irish woman far braver and way cuter than any Saint."
Sounds of the animals again chorused, and Ace grinned from ear to ear as he started telling them the story of his fellow Pet Detective, Kat O'Hara, and how she had stopped the Troll in the alley way. Ace shone with happiness and pride as he gave them a taste of the blarney of the Irish with every ear in the car, furry, scaly, and fleshy, turned to him.
The End
Title: "Three Lizards and Mistletoe"
Author: Pirate Turner
Dedicated To: My beloved, wondrous, and always inspirational and amazing Jack, and our darling babies -- Merry Christmas and Happy Solstice, my loves!!!!! This is the first story in my 12 Days of Solstice/Christmas for my beloved Jack and our darling babies of the year 2011.
Rating: PG-13
Summary:
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Het, Original Character
Word Count (excluding heading): 2,799
Timeline: Follows the author's "The First Time He Met His 'Demon' Woman", "Close Encounters", "Third Time's A Charm", "Four Fallen", "Full Moon Rising", "Where Love Never Ends", and "Of Trolls and Leprechauns"
Disclaimer: Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, and Spike are © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Pet Detective Kathleen "Kat" O'Hara, Captain, the rest of the animal characters mentioned within, and everything else is © & TM the author; none of these characters may be used without permission. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
He ran through the busy, bustling street as carolers sang and last minute shoppers fought over what gifts were left. He kept his head bent low, and his thin arms wrapped around him as he struggled to make his way down the street and against the crisp, biting air of the North Wind. It was Christmas Eve, and Ace Ventura ran apparently alone with his treasures tucked unseen by the milling humans against his scrawny body.
They should have already been home, Ace reflected sadly, snuggled into the thick blankets he kept sprawled across his cold apartment this time of the year. They should have been home and ready to unwrap the few presents he'd managed to accumulate for his best friends, the catnip mice for the cats, the couple of boxes of dog biscuits for the dogs, and the few other gifts he'd managed to squirrel away enough dollars over the last year to buy for his animal friends. He had nothing at home waiting for himself but his friends, and that was just fine by him.
He felt the pressure against his chest begin to shiver and wrapped his arms more tightly around the little puppy he'd rescued just two hours earlier. He was cold, the puppy even colder, and he knew he had to hurry and get the baby lizards curled into the pockets of his striped pants out of this winter weather for they'd surely freeze if they were out here much longer. Ace sighed and doubled his speed again. He didn't know why his car had to break down again today, of all days. If he could ask Santa Claus for just one thing, it would be for perfect happiness, harmony, and safety for all the animals in the world. The second thing would be a car, and he wouldn't even care what kind of a car it was as long as it ran the way it should, which his broken-down heap of a vehicle never had.
He was just turning a street corner when a door opened. He narrowly missed running straight into it as he skittered around it. The stale and strong scents of beer and whiskey assaulted his nose and made his newest puppy whine. Yet, with those awful scents and the loud raucous of rowdy voices doing poor imitations of Christmas songs, came a flash of heat that was most welcome in the cold. Ace would have been tempted to stop into the bar himself normally, but he couldn't afford to drown his troubles in the relief that alcohol offered lest he fail to be the ultimate protector his animal friends needed.
He was beginning to run on pass the bar when he saw a woman emerge and stopped dead in his tracks. She stumbled and would have fallen if she hadn't grabbed the door's edge. She belched, and Ace could smell the scent of whisky on her breath even from the few feet that still separated them. Still he stood riveted and held captive by her beauty as he had been since the first time he'd set eyes upon her. "Kat O'Hara," he spoke her name in surprise, his eyes growing wider. What in the world was she doing getting drunk on Christmas Eve?!
"Tha' be me name," she slurred, her emerald eyes flashing all around her. "Who be stupid enough tae be callin' it?" She curled her hands into fists, her black fingernails pointing upwards, and Ace ran to her. Though he knew she could easily kill him on the spot with little more than a mere thought, he bravely caught her hands in his. Recognition dawned in her besotted eyes, and she tugged against his grasp. "Let gi o' me, ye bloody bastard, 'fore'n I fry ye!"
"You could fry me," he whispered, "but then every one on this street would know your secret." He cocked his head and gazed worriedly into her eyes. "Why are you drunk, Kat?"
"Who said anythin' 'bout me bein' drunk?" she demanded. Her slurred voice broke off into Gaelic, and chills swept through him as she ranted, her emerald eyes flashing. Then, as easily as her words had shifted into her native tongue, she returned to English. "Besides, if'n I am drunk, 'tis me own damn business tha' I am!"
He shrugged his slender shoulders as he fought down the primal urges roaring within him to take her into his arms, hold her against her will, love her as he knew she so sorely needed, and protect her from the cruelty of the humans all around them. "I just thought you'd be spending Christmas with your animal friends," he told her with an innocent smile, "like I plan on doing with mine."
"I will be," she snarled. "Who said I would nae be? I'll be back wit' 'em soon. 'Tis nae like they're goin' anywhere, nae like . . . " She paused. Pain flashed in her glowing, green orbs, and she again shot off into an angry tirade of Gaelic.
Ace had no idea what on Earth she was saying, but her beautiful voice, though filled with fury, still caressed his ears and made his heartbeat quicken. He'd love to understand what she was saying, even if she was cussing him for everything bad in the book, but the clearing of a male voice caught his ears and pulled his attention away from his beautiful Kat's tirade. It was the proud, tabby cat sitting on top of Kat's black-clad shoulders who had made the sound, and Ace's eyebrows shot up as he saw the cat pointing to something before his beloved mistress' head! Ace's eyes grew wide, and then slowly he smiled.
"Be that as it may," he told Kat suddenly in a tone far smoother than he felt, "I'd hate to be the one to break tradition." She struggled even harder against him as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer against him.
"I'll fry ye tae bloody soot, ye bastard!"
"No, you won't," he told her gently. There was neither accusation nor threat in his voice as he stated the mere fact. "I've got three lizards in my pockets and a puppy in my shirt. You won't do anything to me, because you won't want to hurt them." He wondered what Spike would think if he could see him now, but he'd left his best friend at the apartment to finish getting their place ready for Christmas.
She struggled against him like a wild animal, but if there was one thing Ace Ventura knew, it was how to hold on to and calm a wild beast. He wrapped his arms more tightly around her and stroked her back with his slightly trembling hands. The puppy whined and poked his little, furry head out of Ace's Bahamas shirt just as Kat's eyes had been narrowing in on him again. He yipped, and Kat let out another string of Gaelic.
This time, Ace knew for sure that it was a curse, but he didn't let it bother him. Instead his grin just grew, spreading further over his handsome face as he told her, "I'm not the one standing underneath mistletoe, beautiful." Then, before she could fight him any further, Ace leaned up and pressed his lips to hers. She struggled even harder against him, but he kept his arms wrapped around her and continued kissing her. He heard shouts from inside the bar as men who had watched the fiery woman congratulated him for getting this far, but they didn't matter. Nothing mattered to Ace except his animal friends and this most beautiful of the human females who shared his love for their furry, scaly, and feathered friends.
He kept kissing her, his tongue slipping out from between his lips to press against her closed mouth, and slowly he felt her begin to grow limp inside the safety of his arms. His heart warmed and then soared to heaven as he felt her, at long last, begin to return his kiss. The puppy yipped; Captain mewed. Still Ace kissed Kat, his tongue finally managing to pry her lips apart, seep pass her guard, and bury itself in the warm, sweet, and silken contours of her hot, Irish mouth. He'd told her he had three lizards in his pocket, and it wasn't a lie. The two lizards he'd rescued slept in tight, curled balls inside the depths of his pockets, and the third pressed against her womanhood between their clothes, straining against Ace's striped trousers and roaring with his need to feel her closer.
His hands swept up and down her back. His tongue twisted against hers, and he deepened their kiss. His brown eyes had been gazing into her emerald orbs all this time, but now, slowly, they began to drift shut as they were overcome with the incredible passion sparking between the two of them. He should have recognized his warning at that time, however, as Kat's own eyes popped wide. He should have known she was beginning to sober up some and realizing what she was doing, but he was too lost in the moment to see the anger beginning to flash again in her emerald orbs.
Her lips slowed against his; a whimper broke free from his mouth. He attempted again to deepen their kiss and pulled her harder against him. His brown eyes shot wide open as she stomped down on his foot, and then he yowled with pain as she bit his lip. She pushed against him, her hands shoving against his thin shoulders, as she declared, "Di nae e'er come tha' close tae me again, ye bloody bastard!" Her words again broke into Gaelic as she stormed pass him, and Ace turned slowly behind her fury to see her best friend and partner still gazing at him from her shoulder.
Captain winked at him, causing Ace's frown to deepen and his forehead to furrow. No animal had ever purposefully gotten him into trouble before, and then as he heard snow bells jingle from somewhere further down the street, Ace realized Captain's silent message. They both knew that Kat needed more loving than what she allowed herself to receive, and although she was furious at him now and would still be thrilled to get a chance to fry his butt, she had melted. For one glorious moment on this Christmas Eve, wrapped in his arms and the glowing love he offered her, the far too proud and angry Detective Kat O'Hara had melted in his arms!
"YES!" Ace shouted, jumping into the air for joy and throwing his fists up with congratulatory punches. The puppy still wrapped inside his shirt wriggled against him. His little tail beat at Ace's chest, and he barked happily. The little guy didn't have an idea what he was so happy about, Ace knew, but he'd soon learn. He'd have a mother yet!
He rubbed his head and then felt one of the lizards slide back against the thin material of his trousers separating him from Ace's skin. An icy cold touched Ace as the lizard brushed against him, and Ace's joy fell. He had to hurry home! He had to hurry and get those two babies some heat, or it would be too late!
He started to rush down the street but paused as he heard a weak, little mew. He turned around and saw a tiny, fuzzy head gazing at him from the alley way. The baby kitten was barely as big as one of Ace's hands, and her green eyes were the largest thing about her. They stared at him, and he gazed back into her pools, seeing her hunger, sorrow, fear, and coldness. He dashed into the alley and had her in the safety of his hands within scant minutes.
He would have called finally getting to kiss Kat O'Hara a Christmas miracle, but as Ace held the small, shivering kitten and pressed his lips to her furry, gray head, he knew he was wrong. Kissing any woman, even Kat, wasn't a miracle, but rescuing this poor darling, and each of the little lives he held and protected, was indeed a miracle. "Now, you," he told her, raising her in his hands and gazing up at her, "really are a Christmas miracle!" He brought her down to him and kissed her again; her playfully batting, fuzzy paws fell gently against his handsome face.
Ace tingled inside as she began to purr to him, and the tingles he felt now were far different from those his beautiful, beloved Kat had poured into his heart, soul, and body while they'd kissed. This was a true Christmas miracle, and this was what he lived for! He kissed the kitten again and tucked her into his shirt. After making sure the alley was empty of any other lives needing his protection, help, and love, Ace hurried on toward his apartment.
It wasn't much, he thought, as he jingled his keys into the door. It was small, poorly furnished, cold, and dirty, but it was home. He opened the door after the third jingle, slipped inside, shut and locked it behind him, and then leaned against his frame. He let his eyes drift shut for a moment as he felt his animal friends beginning to come to him before he even called for them. It had been a busy day full of miracles, and despite his car breaking down and the fact that he had no Christmas feast or even warmth awaiting him, Ace was happy.
It was a glorious Christmas, and he received one last Christmas wonder as he opened his eyes to the calls of his animal brethren and gazed about him in awe at the apartment. He shook his head slowly, his brown eyes growing big and beginning to fill with joyful tears. A banner stretched across the top of his ceiling, and the writing that had been scribbled on it by caring paws welcomed him home. Gold and silver lights sparkled on a tall Christmas tree, and Ace shook his head in wonder. Blankets were still strewn across his little apartment along with tattered remains of bows, ribbons, and wrapping paper, but there were more presents tucked beneath the biggest tree he'd seen in years waiting to be opened than he'd ever thought possible.
Some of his animal friends were gathering around him, eager to welcome both him and the newcomers to home, while others were beginning to push some of the presents out from underneath the tree to him. Ace gently put the puppy and kitten on the floor; they were instantly surrounded by penguins, raccoons, and other cats who would led them to milk and food.
He emptied his pockets. Two hawks swept down and gently picked up the freezing lizards in their talons. They flew through the apartment with them and dropped them directly before the heating lamp set up for the other amphibians. There, the tiny, green animals were covered by warm hands as their brothers and sisters helped them to revive.
Ace looked back to the tree and grinned again as Spike swung up and down on its branches. He chattered happily, then swung from the tree's boughs to Ace's shoulder. Ace looked from him down to his animal friends who were bringing him presents. "For me?" he asked.
"*Of course,*" Spike chittered in agreement and rubbed his face against his. He wrapped his small, furry arms around Ace's neck and gave him a big hug. "*You don't think we'd let Christmas go by without thanking our father and best friend, did you?*"
Ace blushed. He didn't know how they had managed it, but he shook his head. "No," he agreed and dropped to the floor. He was immediately covered by his animal friends, and though the presents with which he was presented were simple, old toys; saved bones; and bits of Mother Nature and things other humans had thrown away outside that somehow his friends had gotten while he was out on his errands and rescues, Ace showed that he was wowed by each and every one. In truth, it was the love he shared with his animal family that really filled him with such happiness and glee, and it was their love, and each of their lives that he and Spike had saved, that were his true Christmas miracles.
"Merry Christmas, every one!" he called out. "I love you!" Then he tackled his friends onto the floor, wrapping them in his love and spending not only the rest of the holiday but all his life rolling and playing with them and always showing them how infinitely much he loved them and that they would always be his greatest treasures of all!
The End
Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: R due to violence
Summary:
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Het
Word Count (excluding heading): 5,417
Feedback: Yes, please!
Archive: WWOMB, FF.net -- Anybody else, ask, and I'll probably grant permission.
Timeline: Follows the author's "The First Time He Met His 'Demon' Woman", "Close Encounters", "Third Time's A Charm", "Four Fallen", "Full Moon Rising", and "Where Love Never Ends"
Disclaimer: Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, and Spike are © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Pet Detective Kathleen "Kat" O'Hara, Captain, the rest of the animal characters mentioned within, and everything else is © & TM the author; none of these characters may be used without permission. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Ace stooped, his fingers extending as far underneath the mailbox as he could get them without actually getting down on all fours. The puppy whined and scurried further underneath the box, his tail tucked underneath him. "What's a matter, little fellow?" Ace asked. "I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'd never hurt you or let anybody else hurt you ever again."
"Oh no, I wouldn't." Ace continued crooning to the frightened pup as he dropped to his knees before him. "Ace is a good guy. Uh-huh. Ace is a good boy, and so are you. I can tell," he said with a huge grin.
The terror in the little puppy's big, brown eyes tore at Ace's heart, and he began to talk to him in canine language, a trick that had always helped him with dogs before. He wriggled his body as he spoke, but still it seemed to do no good as the puppy stayed where he was, curled up into the smallest ball he could possibly make himself. The sun was setting and people were hurrying home all about them when Ace turned around, dropped his striped pants, and offered the pup his bared bum to smell.
Women shrieked and ran far away from him. One elderly, black man attempted to poke at Ace with his umbrella. The Pet Detective promptly turned from whimpering reassuringly to the pup to barking like mad at the man. The old man dropped his umbrella and raced away with one hand clamping his cap to his balding head.
Ace turned back around without bothering to pull his pants back up and looked again at the scared witless puppy. Each time he'd reached for him, the pup had scurried out of his reach; he tried again with the same result. Ace cocked his head to the side as he studied the puppy. It had been a long time since he'd had this much trouble getting a dog to come to him, or any other animal for that matter.
Ace slid down on the hard concrete until he was laying on his belly. All the while, he kept talking to the pup in his own language, telling him what a good boy he was, how Ace was sorry for everything that had happened to him since he'd been thrown out on the streets by some heartless human, and what great care he would take of him if he'd just give him the chance and come home with him. Ever so slowly, he reached his hands underneath the mailbox. He was really beginning to wish he could just blast the confounded contraption out of existence, but he knew doing anything to the box would just scare the poor puppy more.
"Excuse me, sir, would you mind if I just leaned over you and dropped this in the mail?" The words were barely out of the woman's mouth before Ace turned on her, barking ferociously and angling his gnashing teeth at her ankle. "Well I never!" she cried, throwing up her skirts and fleeing.
"You should!" Ace barked after her before turning his attention back to the puppy who was now whining. He was in the midst of asking him if he wouldn't really like to go somewhere where he'd be safe from all the crazy humans when his horn started blowing.
Ace looked up at his pile of a beaten up and broken down car, and his jaw slackened in surprise. Every animal in the small car was having a complete fit! It was his primate partner, Spike, who was attached to the horn. All the animals' fur was risen on end, and the cats were scratching frantically at the glass. The ram he'd saved earlier was running back and forth over his seats and butting the windshields with his horns. Cracks splintered through the glass each time he hit them.
"CUT IT OUT!" Ace yelled, but they continued. Spike waved at him, but when Ace just glared in response, the cappuccino monkey slid his window down, batted the others off of it, stuck his tiny head out of the open window, and screeched at Ace, telling the bewildered Detective in no uncertain terms that they had to go right then.
"I CAN'T LEAVE SPOT!"
"{NOT ANOTHER SPOT!}" was Spike's reply.
"FOR NOW HE IS! HE'S TOO SCARED TO EVEN TELL ME HIS NAME, AND HE'S ALREADY EATEN ALL MY DOG BISCUITS!"
"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR NAMES OR BISCUITS! WE HAVE TO GO NOW!"
"I'M NOT LEAVING HIM!" Ace shot back even as he began to hear calls from the other scared animals within his small car. Chills raced up and down Ventura's spine as he listened to the animals talking about death, dying, monsters, and how if he didn't come right then, he, who had promised them all saving and nothing but happiness and protection from that day forward, would have doomed them all.
"I CAN'T LEAVE HIM!" Ace repeated. Spike jumped out of the window and scampered over to him, his arms held in such an alert position as to tell Ace that he clearly meant business and would not be taking no for an answer. Ace was relieved that the ram was the swiftest to follow Spike as his massive, wooly bulk promptly got stuck and thereby blocked the other animals from fleeing into the Hell the city was to a poor, defenseless animal. Spike raced over the sidewalk, leapt through the air, grasped Ace's arm, and began pulling at him with all his might. "{WE HAVE TO GO!}" he chattered at the top of his primate lungs. "{WE HAVE TO GO NOW!}"
The hairs on Ace's arms and the back of his neck were now standing on end. Thunder, or at least what he thought was thunder, rumbled deafeningly. He looked to the mouth of a nearby alleyway, his question clear upon his face. Why did the thunder seem to be coming from there? And why was it thundering at all when there hadn't been a cloud in the sky when the sun had set a few minutes ago?
"{NO, ACE!}" Spike screeched. "{NO HERO! NOT NOW! LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY, SAVE ANOTHER ANIMAL!}" But Ace's curiosity was already growing by leaps and bounds, and a curious Pet Detective is a dangerous thing. Then he heard the mewl of a cat wailing from the alley, and he quickly pulled his pants back up, buttoned them, turned, and ran right toward the danger that had all his animal friends spooked. For a change, Ace could not tell if the cat was scared, hurt, or purrhaps only pissed, but where there was an animal in need, Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, would always be there.
He ran with Spike clinging to his right leg and using all his monkey strength to try to slow him down. When he was only a few feet into the alley, Ace suddenly slammed on his brakes. "SHIT!" he cursed. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!"
The question had barely left his mouth when a human body fell at his feet. He started to reach out, then snatched his hand away when a vicious snarl recoiled from the fallen woman. He knew then who she was before she ever lifted her head.
Pet Detective Kat O'Hara looked directly at Ace when she sprang back to her booted feet. Emerald fire burned in her eyes and scorched him straight through to his very soul. "Get 'em an' get oot," she commanded.
"Who? What?" Ace questioned even as she turned her gaze back onto the monster who had thrown her off of him as though she was nothing more than a pesky flea. Fleas really could be pains, Ace knew, but for a flea to have to really bother this stinky behemoth, it would have to be the size of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
The creature took two steps, and the alley shook with its movement. Ace realized that the sounds of the beast's footsteps was what he had mistaken for thunder earlier. His skin crawled as slime dripped off of the monster. It was covered in a thick, green skin full of warts, and two long tusks with some kind of icky liquid Ace didn't care to consider the identity of dripping off of them protruded from his face. "WHAT IS THAT THING?!" he called to the feisty redhead as he struggled to keep standing and the creature continued to lumber toward them.
It was completely green, and Ace suddenly remembered why he'd chosen to wear the shirt he had on now which was covered with shamrocks and four-leaf clovers. "IS IT SOME KIND OF LEPRECHAUN OR SOMETHING?"
The Look Kat shot him sizzled even more than the fireballs building in her hands. "'TIS A TROLL, YE BLOODY MORON! NOW SHUT YER GOB AN' GET TAE WORK SAVIN' 'EM!"
Ace followed her meaningful glance, and his heart immediately ached for there, nestled at the mouth of the alley, were two small and furry families. Two grown, raggedy cats stood at their front, their backs arched, their fur fluffed, and their claws unsheathed and gleaming at the ready but pure terror in their beautiful eyes. Behind the queen and tom, kittens and mice cowered, their tiny bodies trembling as they nestled together on the cold, hard pavement. Ace blinked back a mixture of surprise and tears. What kind of miracle had Kat worked here to have alley cats and mice grouping together for safety?
Standing guard in front of the families was a cat who Ace had come to recognize well over the last several months. He appeared, to the unknowing eye, to be nothing more than another alley cat, but Ace knew that he was a truly remarkable feline indeed and in possession of far more intelligence, bravery, and spirit than most idiotic humans would ever give a cat credit for having. As Ace looked at Kat's right-hand man whom he knew only as Captain, he couldn't help wishing that his own partner could be a little braver instead of persistently pulling at him and screeching that they had best run away before they became the Troll's dinner.
"DAMN IT, VENTURA!" Kat snarled. "DI NAE JUST STAND THERE GAWKIN'! GET 'EM OUT O' HERE OR I'LL FRY YER ASS WHEN I'M DONE FRYIN' HIS!"
Ace grinned at her. "IF YOU WERE GONNA FRY MY ASS, KAT, YA WOULD'VE DONE SO A LONG TIME AGO, BUT SINCE YOU ASKED SO NICELY . . . " He had to yell to be heard over the stomping of the Troll.
Her emerald eyes flashed at him as she growled, "SHUT YER YAP AN' GET TAE IT 'FORE'N HE GETS HERE, YE DUMBASS!"
His grin grew to reveal more of his white teeth. "THANKS FOR NOTICING." He winked at her. "I KNEW YA HAD TO LIKE ME AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT."
Kat screeched her outrage, but before she could turn on him, the Troll, who had stopped to sniff the air, turned toward the shaking, terrified huddle of animals. Captain hissed, and Kat whirled back around in a flash of black clothes, red hair and fire, and white flesh. Fire pulsed from her fingertips, and fireballs glowed in her hands. Ace watched, transfixed by her deadly beauty, as she charged.
She slammed fireballs into both of the Troll's massive, slimy shoulders, and it howled in pain. Her blows forced him to stumble back as she ran forward, and she did not grant him even a second to attempt a recovery before hurling two fresh fireballs into his groin area. The dirty loincloth he wore, which, to the best that Ace could tell, was made of rotten fur, immediately went up in smoke, and the Troll screamed in agonizing pain.
Ace was still shuddering in sympathy for his fellow male's groin when a rugged voice that had spent many years calling orders at sea yowled at him. "DID YE NAE HEAR TH' LASS, LAD? GET YER BLOODY ASS MOVIN' ALREADY! I DIN'T HA'E OPPOSABLE THUMBS, MAN, AN' I CAN NAE CARRY 'EM ALL MESELF!"
Captain picked one of the kittens up and ran, his raggedy tail standing at alert as though it were a flag, tried, tattered, and true, leading the way. The queen and tom paused to nuzzle their babies for what they feared might be the last time. Ace's heart tore at the emotions he saw shining in her blue orbs and his green eyes, and at last he moved. The tom picked up a kitten and ran, following the path Captain had taken, but still the queen lingered beside her remaining kittens. She mewed pitifully at Ace when he arrived, and he could clearly see the tears in her crystal blue eyes. "{Please save my babies! Don't let them die!}" she wailed.
He bent and stroked her head reassuringly as he continued to ignore Spike's determined pulls at his leg. "Don't worry," he told her. "They're safe now that I'm here."
The Troll suddenly let out a massive roar, and Ace's heart leapt into his throat. "KAT!" He did not even realize that he screamed her name as he watched her body sail through the air and hit the ground. For one dreadful moment in which the whole world seemed to stand still for Ace as the moments he had been lucky enough to share with the beautiful and courageous woman flashed in front of his eyes in vibrant color, Ace thought she would not rise again, but then her head lifted and she moaned. His heart jumped. Relief and hope flooded his soul, and he felt a tingle of something he refused to acknowledge. Her lovely face was cut and bleeding from hitting the pavement, but he saw as she pushed herself to her booted feet that her hands were already beginning to glow anew.
Ace grinned even as the Troll stumbled toward them, swiping at the air with his long, yellowed claws and fists the size of small boulders. Kat had already done a number, Ace noted, not only on his arms, legs, and groin but also on his eyes. Burns and welts were growing all over his body, and blood poured from his eyes. If she had been mad before, Ace knew Kat was furious now.
Ace gave the Troll a raspberry even as he instinctively felt the felines and mice shivering behind him. Spike clambered up his body and attached himself to his head. "YOU'RE GONNA GET IT NOW!" he chided the monster and stuck out his tongue again.
Kat yowled as she ran, leapt through the air, and landed on the Troll's back. He bucked as he felt her legs wrap around one of the warty bulges on his back and then howled again in pain as she dug her fingernails into his slimy flesh. Everywhere her hands touched, fire scorched his body, and as she brought her fingernails down his back, the fire poured into the holes she made.
Ace grimaced and whirled back around, presenting his back to the Troll, who was being rode by the feistiest, toughest, and most courageous woman he had ever known. Spike jumped down as Ace opened his arms. The mother cat picked up one of her babies while Spike scooped two of the tiny, trembling forms into his small arms. Ace gathered the two remaining kittens and mice into his arms, and the lot of them beat a hasty retreat from the alley. Ace sent the animals ahead of him and took up the rear as they ran, just in case the Troll should somehow slip pass Kat's fierce guard.
In his rush to get Spike, the felines, and mice to safety, Ace forgot about the puppy as he ran pass the mailbox. The pup yipped and rushed out from under the mailbox. He followed them, his tail still tucked between his legs, and barked at Ace to slow up. Ace cast a glance over his thin shoulder at the innocent he had dubbed Spot that afternoon for the big, brown spot on his furry back and yipped at him to hurry. The puppy redoubled his speed and soon caught up.
Ace and company reached the Pet Detective's car only to find Captain, the tom, and the kittens they had carried nowhere in sight. The ram still filled Ace's window, and the other animals had all plastered themselves as flat as they possibly could into the floorboards to keep from being noticed.
A mew caught Ace's attention, and he turned to it. "O'er 'ere!" Captain called, and Ace grinned at the irony that Kat's battered, brown Oldsmobile was parked next to his car that had clearly weathered even more attacks from angry humans. Purrhaps it was not more, he thought. Maybe it was just that she could field off her attackers better.
He walked over, stumbling as the queen cut right in front of his sneakered feet. She leapt into the open window, dropped her kitten carefully into the seat, and lovingly rubbed her furry head against her mate's. For just a split moment, Ace found himself wishing that he could have a woman who would be so happy to see him.
He had barely put the little ones he carried into the front seat when an earthquake, or at least what felt like a quake, shook the ground beneath them. Ace stumbled and clutched Kat's door to keep from falling. It was only then that he noticed that her car, like his own, was also filled a menagerie of animals. There were several cats and kittens, a few dogs, two turtles and several fish swimming in buckets filled with water in the back floorboards, a hamster, a couple of porcupines, a frog jumping around, a skunk who had her tail raised instinctively -- Ace breathed a quiet sigh of relief that he didn't smell anything yet --, one of the cutest kits he'd ever seen, and even a barn owl.
There may have been even more animals, but Ace did not get a chance to see as Captain, yowling Kat's name at the top of his lungs, barreled out of the car, over Ace, and across the pavement. Ace followed him with eyes made wide by fear, calling at the animals to stay still and not make a sound or any movement until he appeared where they could see him and told them otherwise. "SPIKE," he yelled before ducking behind Captain into the alley, "IF I DON'T COME BACK, TAKE CARE OF THEM!"
He didn't know exactly what had scared Captain so badly that every strand of fur on the old tabby's back was standing on end and his green eyes were filled with heart-stricken terror, but he knew it had to be extremely bad. His own skin paled and his eyes shot wide at the scene he was met with for the Troll was now rolling on the ground with Kat underneath him. "KAT!" the man and cat screamed as one.
"ARE THEY SAFE?" she called back, and tears tightened in Ace's throat, forming a ball of emotions that threatened to choke him.
"AYE, DARLIN'," Captain assured her. Ace knew, without looking at the old tom, that the cat was crying. He could hear his brave heart breaking in every syllable of the phrase.
"THEN GET . . . OOT . . . O' . . . HERE . . . " Her words were now being muffled as the Troll repeatedly knocked his own sizzling back, with her beneath him, into the pavement. "TAKE . . . ME LIFE . . . AN' . . . GI . . . VENTURA . . . . . . PLEASE!"
Part of him knew he should listen to her, but the rest of him knew he could not leave her. He could neither hear all that she was saying nor understand all that he heard, but he knew, in his heart, that she wanted him to take Captain and leave. "THAT 'TWILL NAE BE HAPPENIN', KAT," he called in a poor imitation of her natural brogue that always quickened his heartbeat and stirred his fire.
"PLEASE!" her voice broke as the Troll slammed her face down into the pavement.
"KAT!" Captain broke into a run, his every claw at the ready. He sprang through the air before Ace could even hope to move to stop him and grasped hold of the Troll's head with all twenty claws. Unfortunately, the Troll's hair was extremely slippery from never being washed, and when he shook his head, Captain was thrown off.
Ace ran, stripping out of his shirt as he did so. He jumped; threw his shirt around Captain, whose claws immediately embedded in the white and green fabric; and pulled him to him. The cat was trembling when Ace wrapped his arms around him, and the man swallowed hard. Heartache and terror radiated from the old tom as he lifted his ancient, green eyes to look beggingly into Ace's eyes, and from there, into his very soul. "Save 'er," he pleaded. "Please save 'er! She 'tis me life!"
Ace turned, and a scream pelted out of his lungs. It was the cry of the jungle that he had first learned from watching old Tarzan movies. He screamed and screamed until the Troll grunted and looked up at him. He grunted and started to get up.
Ace laid Captain on the ground, and without even giving one thought to his half-naked, weaponless status, ran. He ran straight at the Troll, stopping only when he stood directly in front of him. Then he hit him with both fists and all the strength he possessed.
Pain shot through Ace's hands, and a shrill, feminine scream broke from his mouth before he could stop it. The Troll grunted again, then swatted the Pet Detective away as though he were no more than a bothersome fly.
A strained voice from below murmured, "Ye should nae ha'e done tha'," and that was the only warning the Troll received before a volcano seemed to erupt underneath him.
Ace watched as a steady stream of fire was released upon the Troll. He howled in agony as his flesh was slowly melted off of his bones, and the moment there was nothing but bones left, the fire ceased, pulling back into Kat's battered body. It gave a last sizzling pop before vanishing completely, and she moaned.
Captain raced immediately to his mistress' side and started tenderly licking her face. Her hand fluttered as she tried to pet him before falling to her side. The tabby moved to her hand and gently stroked her with the top of his furry head. He purred deeply, trying to surround her with the reassurance of the deep, resonant sound.
Ace groaned as he forced himself to stand. Every inch of his body hurt while every single one of his brain cells screamed with questions. Trolls were real! Did that mean that everything else he'd ever heard about, all the other monsters of legend, also existed? Why were he and Kat the only humans to fight the Troll? Why didn't the world know of their existence? Where were the cops, the sirens, the screaming citizens that had always accompanied every big fight Ace had ever been in in America up until now? Had he finally gone, completely, irreversibly insane? Was Kat crazy too? And how badly hurt was the beautiful, heroic Pet Detective Kat O'Hara, a woman who was truly after his heart more than any other he'd ever met even if she didn't want to be?
Captain wasn't yowling or crying openly, so that had to be a good sign. Ace scraped himself off of the brick wall and trudged over to where Kat lay in a six-foot long hole in the ground. "Hey, beautiful." The words almost stuck in his throat for he had, in truth, never seen her look worse. Her clothes were ripped, and for the first time, he found himself wondering why she was dressed all in black every time he saw her. Was she in mourning for some one? Had she loved a man and lost him to Death? Was that the true reason why she was always so furious at the world and all the humans in it, even him?
Bruises littered Kat's flesh, and chunks of her fiery red hair had been torn from her skull. So much blood was splattered over her body that he could not tell which was hers and which was the Troll's. Had the Troll bled red? He couldn't remember. Her foot was twisted, and he feared it might be broken.
He forced himself to smile, but soon his smile grew of its own accord. She was dirty, bloody, and beaten to a pulp, but still her beauty shone for she had risked everything to save a few animals and done so successfully. Truly Ace had never known another woman like her or even any one who could remotely come close. She was, without a doubt, the most beautiful human being he'd ever met.
"Need a hand, beautiful?" he asked, and this time he meant the endearment with his whole heart. She tried to speak, but coughing took hold of her and didn't release her until she spat up blood. Neither Captain nor Ace moved away as the coughing fit shook her. Instead Captain rubbed reassuringly against her side as he and Ace stood vigil.
Ace waited until she turned to spit, then stooped and gently rubbed what part of her back he could reach. He expected her to snatch away or cut him with condescending words, but instead she only looked at him in surprise. Her long hair fell over her face like a shield of fire, and he dared to softly brush it away. He leaned forward, and her emerald eyes widened in greater surprise before flashing in warning. His fingertips brushed the one clean spot on her cheek. She tried to speak, but words were still hard to come by. She growled instead.
He froze. Every inch of him ached to move onward and taste her sweet nectar. Part of him knew she could not fight him now, but the greater part of his heart, soul, and even mind wanted to earn this incredible woman's trust. He forced himself to pull back.
Kat attempted to stand, but her body trembled from weakness and pain. Ace caught her before she could fall. He surprised her again as his skinny arms wrapped gently around her and proved their strength by lifting her.
She knew she should fight him, but she was too weak to do so. All she wanted was to go home to her babies. Though it went against so many of the hard lessons that lift had taught her, Kat allowed Ace to carry her to her car.
They quickly arrived at her vehicle. As he stood there, holding her close to his wildly-beating heart and wondering what to do next, the golden Labrador in the back seat unlocked the car by wrapping her mouth around the knob and pulling up and then opened the door by pulling on the latch with her mouth. She scratched at the door until it swung open, then yipped at Ace as the other mammals scurried to new positions in the car.
Ace laid Kat gently down upon the seat. He gazed down at her, his worry clear upon his handsome, if different, face. "I'll go call an ambulance."
Captain jumped onto the seat beside Kat, and his striped tail cut through the air like a snake even as she growled swiftly, "Nae!"
"But you're hurt."
"Nae th' first time. Win't be th' last."
"You do this . . . kind of thing regularly?"
She smiled tiredly. "All th' time." Her eyes met his as Captain climbed to the front seat where most of the animals had moved to. "Thank ye," she spoke, and he could tell she was unaccustomed to expressing gratitude to a human, "fer th' help taeday. I'm nae sure I would've been able tae get 'em oot in time."
"You would have," he answered softly, captivated by the emotions he saw swimming in her enchanting, green eyes.
Ace shot up suddenly as the car started. He looked with an open mouth at where Captain was attached to the wheel, his tail wrapped carefully around the gear shift. The dog was at the pedals, and Ace realized that she, like the feisty and brave tomcat, took after her Mistress for her long, luxurious coat and smiling eyes made her nearly as beautiful as his Kat.
His Kat. Now why had that particular description crept into his mind? Kat would never be his. She blew him away every time he met her, but she'd never look at him as being much more than an obnoxious pain in the ass. Trying to shake off the forbidden thoughts, Ace commented, "I thought Spike was the only one who knew how to drive!"
Kat's grin grew, and he smiled back down at her as she slid further along the seat. "Ye're nae as dumb as ye look, Ventura, I'll gi' ye tha'."
There was a touch of wistfulness and perhaps of sadness over what would never be to his smile as Ace told her softly, "Happy Saint Patrick's Day, Kat."
She met his smile with one of her own, her eyes fixed on his. "Happy Saint Patty's Ace." Then her beautiful smile twisted into her usual grin of sarcasm. "An' fer th' record, 'twas a Leprechaun who ga'e me th' tip. If nae fer 'im, I would nae ha'e known about th' Troll, least nae in time tae stop th' bloody monster from takin' more innocent lives."
Ace's mouth hung open as the car started to pull out. Dumbfounded, he shut the door without saying a word. Trolls and Leprechauns were both real! And the woman being pulled away from him now fought the former on what seemed to him to be at least a semi-regular basis and won!
She was amazing! She was breath-taking! She was everything he'd ever wanted in a woman and more! Everything but his, and that was the way he knew it would be for the gallant and brave Kat O'Hara would never let a human get close to her.
He sighed as he turned back to his own car of rescuees. Spike chattered, waving at him to come on, and he realized, seeing his best friend hanging out of the window, that somehow the ram had gotten unstuck. Walking closer, he saw that Spike had boarded the puppy, who was now finally wagging his tail, and that all of the animals who had been so eager to flee earlier at the scent of the ghastly Troll were now waiting happily for him. Ace smiled. Kat was amazing, but all he really needed was his animals. He climbed aboard, and, with a Tarzan yell, sped on toward more adventures with his animal friends.
Still the thought of the beautiful and deadly Kat lingered in his heart and questions he wasn't sure he really wanted to know the answers to tugged at his mind. He wasn't sure what else she would teach him, but he knew he had more lessons to learn. He hoped he could survive them all.
One look at Spike playing with the joyfully yipping puppy in his passenger seat confirmed to Ace that he would. He would survive them and whatever else life threw at him for his family would never stop needing him and he would be there for them forever. Nothing could stop him.
Thinking of Kat once more and how proud she would make her home country and ancestors, Ace was reminded of the day and the party awaiting his furry family that night. "Happy Saint Patty's!" he told the animals cheerily.
Barks, meows, blats, and other sounds immediately filled his small car. He smiled. "It's a holiday to honor the Irish," he told them, "started to celebrate a Saint, but I know of an Irish woman far braver and way cuter than any Saint."
Sounds of the animals again chorused, and Ace grinned from ear to ear as he started telling them the story of his fellow Pet Detective, Kat O'Hara, and how she had stopped the Troll in the alley way. Ace shone with happiness and pride as he gave them a taste of the blarney of the Irish with every ear in the car, furry, scaly, and fleshy, turned to him.
The End
Title: "Three Lizards and Mistletoe"
Author: Pirate Turner
Dedicated To: My beloved, wondrous, and always inspirational and amazing Jack, and our darling babies -- Merry Christmas and Happy Solstice, my loves!!!!! This is the first story in my 12 Days of Solstice/Christmas for my beloved Jack and our darling babies of the year 2011.
Rating: PG-13
Summary:
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Het, Original Character
Word Count (excluding heading): 2,799
Timeline: Follows the author's "The First Time He Met His 'Demon' Woman", "Close Encounters", "Third Time's A Charm", "Four Fallen", "Full Moon Rising", "Where Love Never Ends", and "Of Trolls and Leprechauns"
Disclaimer: Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, and Spike are © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Pet Detective Kathleen "Kat" O'Hara, Captain, the rest of the animal characters mentioned within, and everything else is © & TM the author; none of these characters may be used without permission. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
He ran through the busy, bustling street as carolers sang and last minute shoppers fought over what gifts were left. He kept his head bent low, and his thin arms wrapped around him as he struggled to make his way down the street and against the crisp, biting air of the North Wind. It was Christmas Eve, and Ace Ventura ran apparently alone with his treasures tucked unseen by the milling humans against his scrawny body.
They should have already been home, Ace reflected sadly, snuggled into the thick blankets he kept sprawled across his cold apartment this time of the year. They should have been home and ready to unwrap the few presents he'd managed to accumulate for his best friends, the catnip mice for the cats, the couple of boxes of dog biscuits for the dogs, and the few other gifts he'd managed to squirrel away enough dollars over the last year to buy for his animal friends. He had nothing at home waiting for himself but his friends, and that was just fine by him.
He felt the pressure against his chest begin to shiver and wrapped his arms more tightly around the little puppy he'd rescued just two hours earlier. He was cold, the puppy even colder, and he knew he had to hurry and get the baby lizards curled into the pockets of his striped pants out of this winter weather for they'd surely freeze if they were out here much longer. Ace sighed and doubled his speed again. He didn't know why his car had to break down again today, of all days. If he could ask Santa Claus for just one thing, it would be for perfect happiness, harmony, and safety for all the animals in the world. The second thing would be a car, and he wouldn't even care what kind of a car it was as long as it ran the way it should, which his broken-down heap of a vehicle never had.
He was just turning a street corner when a door opened. He narrowly missed running straight into it as he skittered around it. The stale and strong scents of beer and whiskey assaulted his nose and made his newest puppy whine. Yet, with those awful scents and the loud raucous of rowdy voices doing poor imitations of Christmas songs, came a flash of heat that was most welcome in the cold. Ace would have been tempted to stop into the bar himself normally, but he couldn't afford to drown his troubles in the relief that alcohol offered lest he fail to be the ultimate protector his animal friends needed.
He was beginning to run on pass the bar when he saw a woman emerge and stopped dead in his tracks. She stumbled and would have fallen if she hadn't grabbed the door's edge. She belched, and Ace could smell the scent of whisky on her breath even from the few feet that still separated them. Still he stood riveted and held captive by her beauty as he had been since the first time he'd set eyes upon her. "Kat O'Hara," he spoke her name in surprise, his eyes growing wider. What in the world was she doing getting drunk on Christmas Eve?!
"Tha' be me name," she slurred, her emerald eyes flashing all around her. "Who be stupid enough tae be callin' it?" She curled her hands into fists, her black fingernails pointing upwards, and Ace ran to her. Though he knew she could easily kill him on the spot with little more than a mere thought, he bravely caught her hands in his. Recognition dawned in her besotted eyes, and she tugged against his grasp. "Let gi o' me, ye bloody bastard, 'fore'n I fry ye!"
"You could fry me," he whispered, "but then every one on this street would know your secret." He cocked his head and gazed worriedly into her eyes. "Why are you drunk, Kat?"
"Who said anythin' 'bout me bein' drunk?" she demanded. Her slurred voice broke off into Gaelic, and chills swept through him as she ranted, her emerald eyes flashing. Then, as easily as her words had shifted into her native tongue, she returned to English. "Besides, if'n I am drunk, 'tis me own damn business tha' I am!"
He shrugged his slender shoulders as he fought down the primal urges roaring within him to take her into his arms, hold her against her will, love her as he knew she so sorely needed, and protect her from the cruelty of the humans all around them. "I just thought you'd be spending Christmas with your animal friends," he told her with an innocent smile, "like I plan on doing with mine."
"I will be," she snarled. "Who said I would nae be? I'll be back wit' 'em soon. 'Tis nae like they're goin' anywhere, nae like . . . " She paused. Pain flashed in her glowing, green orbs, and she again shot off into an angry tirade of Gaelic.
Ace had no idea what on Earth she was saying, but her beautiful voice, though filled with fury, still caressed his ears and made his heartbeat quicken. He'd love to understand what she was saying, even if she was cussing him for everything bad in the book, but the clearing of a male voice caught his ears and pulled his attention away from his beautiful Kat's tirade. It was the proud, tabby cat sitting on top of Kat's black-clad shoulders who had made the sound, and Ace's eyebrows shot up as he saw the cat pointing to something before his beloved mistress' head! Ace's eyes grew wide, and then slowly he smiled.
"Be that as it may," he told Kat suddenly in a tone far smoother than he felt, "I'd hate to be the one to break tradition." She struggled even harder against him as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer against him.
"I'll fry ye tae bloody soot, ye bastard!"
"No, you won't," he told her gently. There was neither accusation nor threat in his voice as he stated the mere fact. "I've got three lizards in my pockets and a puppy in my shirt. You won't do anything to me, because you won't want to hurt them." He wondered what Spike would think if he could see him now, but he'd left his best friend at the apartment to finish getting their place ready for Christmas.
She struggled against him like a wild animal, but if there was one thing Ace Ventura knew, it was how to hold on to and calm a wild beast. He wrapped his arms more tightly around her and stroked her back with his slightly trembling hands. The puppy whined and poked his little, furry head out of Ace's Bahamas shirt just as Kat's eyes had been narrowing in on him again. He yipped, and Kat let out another string of Gaelic.
This time, Ace knew for sure that it was a curse, but he didn't let it bother him. Instead his grin just grew, spreading further over his handsome face as he told her, "I'm not the one standing underneath mistletoe, beautiful." Then, before she could fight him any further, Ace leaned up and pressed his lips to hers. She struggled even harder against him, but he kept his arms wrapped around her and continued kissing her. He heard shouts from inside the bar as men who had watched the fiery woman congratulated him for getting this far, but they didn't matter. Nothing mattered to Ace except his animal friends and this most beautiful of the human females who shared his love for their furry, scaly, and feathered friends.
He kept kissing her, his tongue slipping out from between his lips to press against her closed mouth, and slowly he felt her begin to grow limp inside the safety of his arms. His heart warmed and then soared to heaven as he felt her, at long last, begin to return his kiss. The puppy yipped; Captain mewed. Still Ace kissed Kat, his tongue finally managing to pry her lips apart, seep pass her guard, and bury itself in the warm, sweet, and silken contours of her hot, Irish mouth. He'd told her he had three lizards in his pocket, and it wasn't a lie. The two lizards he'd rescued slept in tight, curled balls inside the depths of his pockets, and the third pressed against her womanhood between their clothes, straining against Ace's striped trousers and roaring with his need to feel her closer.
His hands swept up and down her back. His tongue twisted against hers, and he deepened their kiss. His brown eyes had been gazing into her emerald orbs all this time, but now, slowly, they began to drift shut as they were overcome with the incredible passion sparking between the two of them. He should have recognized his warning at that time, however, as Kat's own eyes popped wide. He should have known she was beginning to sober up some and realizing what she was doing, but he was too lost in the moment to see the anger beginning to flash again in her emerald orbs.
Her lips slowed against his; a whimper broke free from his mouth. He attempted again to deepen their kiss and pulled her harder against him. His brown eyes shot wide open as she stomped down on his foot, and then he yowled with pain as she bit his lip. She pushed against him, her hands shoving against his thin shoulders, as she declared, "Di nae e'er come tha' close tae me again, ye bloody bastard!" Her words again broke into Gaelic as she stormed pass him, and Ace turned slowly behind her fury to see her best friend and partner still gazing at him from her shoulder.
Captain winked at him, causing Ace's frown to deepen and his forehead to furrow. No animal had ever purposefully gotten him into trouble before, and then as he heard snow bells jingle from somewhere further down the street, Ace realized Captain's silent message. They both knew that Kat needed more loving than what she allowed herself to receive, and although she was furious at him now and would still be thrilled to get a chance to fry his butt, she had melted. For one glorious moment on this Christmas Eve, wrapped in his arms and the glowing love he offered her, the far too proud and angry Detective Kat O'Hara had melted in his arms!
"YES!" Ace shouted, jumping into the air for joy and throwing his fists up with congratulatory punches. The puppy still wrapped inside his shirt wriggled against him. His little tail beat at Ace's chest, and he barked happily. The little guy didn't have an idea what he was so happy about, Ace knew, but he'd soon learn. He'd have a mother yet!
He rubbed his head and then felt one of the lizards slide back against the thin material of his trousers separating him from Ace's skin. An icy cold touched Ace as the lizard brushed against him, and Ace's joy fell. He had to hurry home! He had to hurry and get those two babies some heat, or it would be too late!
He started to rush down the street but paused as he heard a weak, little mew. He turned around and saw a tiny, fuzzy head gazing at him from the alley way. The baby kitten was barely as big as one of Ace's hands, and her green eyes were the largest thing about her. They stared at him, and he gazed back into her pools, seeing her hunger, sorrow, fear, and coldness. He dashed into the alley and had her in the safety of his hands within scant minutes.
He would have called finally getting to kiss Kat O'Hara a Christmas miracle, but as Ace held the small, shivering kitten and pressed his lips to her furry, gray head, he knew he was wrong. Kissing any woman, even Kat, wasn't a miracle, but rescuing this poor darling, and each of the little lives he held and protected, was indeed a miracle. "Now, you," he told her, raising her in his hands and gazing up at her, "really are a Christmas miracle!" He brought her down to him and kissed her again; her playfully batting, fuzzy paws fell gently against his handsome face.
Ace tingled inside as she began to purr to him, and the tingles he felt now were far different from those his beautiful, beloved Kat had poured into his heart, soul, and body while they'd kissed. This was a true Christmas miracle, and this was what he lived for! He kissed the kitten again and tucked her into his shirt. After making sure the alley was empty of any other lives needing his protection, help, and love, Ace hurried on toward his apartment.
It wasn't much, he thought, as he jingled his keys into the door. It was small, poorly furnished, cold, and dirty, but it was home. He opened the door after the third jingle, slipped inside, shut and locked it behind him, and then leaned against his frame. He let his eyes drift shut for a moment as he felt his animal friends beginning to come to him before he even called for them. It had been a busy day full of miracles, and despite his car breaking down and the fact that he had no Christmas feast or even warmth awaiting him, Ace was happy.
It was a glorious Christmas, and he received one last Christmas wonder as he opened his eyes to the calls of his animal brethren and gazed about him in awe at the apartment. He shook his head slowly, his brown eyes growing big and beginning to fill with joyful tears. A banner stretched across the top of his ceiling, and the writing that had been scribbled on it by caring paws welcomed him home. Gold and silver lights sparkled on a tall Christmas tree, and Ace shook his head in wonder. Blankets were still strewn across his little apartment along with tattered remains of bows, ribbons, and wrapping paper, but there were more presents tucked beneath the biggest tree he'd seen in years waiting to be opened than he'd ever thought possible.
Some of his animal friends were gathering around him, eager to welcome both him and the newcomers to home, while others were beginning to push some of the presents out from underneath the tree to him. Ace gently put the puppy and kitten on the floor; they were instantly surrounded by penguins, raccoons, and other cats who would led them to milk and food.
He emptied his pockets. Two hawks swept down and gently picked up the freezing lizards in their talons. They flew through the apartment with them and dropped them directly before the heating lamp set up for the other amphibians. There, the tiny, green animals were covered by warm hands as their brothers and sisters helped them to revive.
Ace looked back to the tree and grinned again as Spike swung up and down on its branches. He chattered happily, then swung from the tree's boughs to Ace's shoulder. Ace looked from him down to his animal friends who were bringing him presents. "For me?" he asked.
"*Of course,*" Spike chittered in agreement and rubbed his face against his. He wrapped his small, furry arms around Ace's neck and gave him a big hug. "*You don't think we'd let Christmas go by without thanking our father and best friend, did you?*"
Ace blushed. He didn't know how they had managed it, but he shook his head. "No," he agreed and dropped to the floor. He was immediately covered by his animal friends, and though the presents with which he was presented were simple, old toys; saved bones; and bits of Mother Nature and things other humans had thrown away outside that somehow his friends had gotten while he was out on his errands and rescues, Ace showed that he was wowed by each and every one. In truth, it was the love he shared with his animal family that really filled him with such happiness and glee, and it was their love, and each of their lives that he and Spike had saved, that were his true Christmas miracles.
"Merry Christmas, every one!" he called out. "I love you!" Then he tackled his friends onto the floor, wrapping them in his love and spending not only the rest of the holiday but all his life rolling and playing with them and always showing them how infinitely much he loved them and that they would always be his greatest treasures of all!
The End
