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[personal profile] katleept
<3 <3 <3 Dedicated To My Beloved Drew!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

Gunn's mouth dropped open. Wesley's jaw slacked, but a nudge from Fred had him shutting his mouth. Even Angel stared while Lorne burst into a broad and open grin. His green hands raised into the air as he exclaimed merrily, "Elvira! At last we meet, darling!"

Gunn finally remembered how to work his jaw so he could ask in stunned disbelief, "You know Elvira, Mistress of the Dark?"

"Honey, it's LA, and I'm the Host with the Most! I know everybody!"

"I'm sure you do," Elvira replied, sashaying closer to the handsome gentlemen and holding out a perfectly manicured hand, "but it is pass time we met eyeball to eyeball, Lorney. After all, you're the Host with the Most," she shook her barely clad breasts, "and I'm the Hostess with the Mostest." She winked at the three guys continuing to gawk at her while Lorne took her hand.

"A pleasure, I assure you, ma cherie." He kissed the back of her hand, then turned her hand over, and kissed her pale palm.

Harmony huffed. "I could be the Hostess with the Mostest," she proclaimed with a pout only she felt was seductive, "if I'd had as many jobs done as she has!"

Elvira's head whipped toward the blonde Vampiress. She bared her fangs. Her black eyes flashed.

"Oh, puh-lease," Harmony retorted. "Two can play that game, sister, and I've gone toe to toe with the Slayer. You don't scare me." She snarled silently, revealing her fangs in turn.

"Harm, I wouldn't do that if I were you," Spike warned.

"You don't tell me what to do any more, Spikey! You lost that right when I dumped you!"

The click clack of Elvira's ebony high heels echoed in Lorne's office as she approached the girl. Twisting his hips, Lorne slid between them, but Elvira would not be deterred so easily. "I don't care how many Slayers you've gone toe to toe with, little girl. I've bedded several in my time, busted several of their butts too, and I had your sire there about a hundred years before you came along."

Harmony stuck out her tongue while Gunn, Wesley, and Angel eyed Spike with new admiration. "That just goes to show you're old. If you were that good, he would've stayed with you instead of chasing after a Slayer."

"I didn't give him the choice," Elvira informed her with a proud flip of her long, black hair, "and by the way, I haven't had any jobs done, unlike your little nose."

Harmony huffed again. Her perfect, pink lips were wide open but froze as she tried to think of a comeback. At last, she pouted at Lorne, who she had thought of as a friend previously. "Is that true, Lorneykins?" She knew he knew everybody in Los Angeles and Hollywood and who had had what done down to the exact, minuet detail.

"It is, Harm. She's out of your league, sweetie. Step back."

"He's right, pet," Spike advised, gloating under the admiration he was receiving from the other chums. "Step back while you still can."

"I can take -- "

"Harmony," Angel growled in his give-me-no-excuses-or-I-might-bite-your-head-off tone. His eyes flashed yellow. "Leave. Now."

She sighed audibly, pouted, and rolled her eyes but finally relented. "Whatever you say, boss." She glowered at Elvira as she flounced pass her. "But I'm only leaving because he says to, and he's my boss, so I've got to do what he says."

Elvira snarled. "Eep!" Harmony cried and fled the office.

"So, darling," Lorne asked Elvira, "to what do I owe this delightful pleasure?" He stepped closer to her with another twist of his hips.

This time, it was Elvira's turn to sigh. "I got tired of waiting, Lorney. These E-mails and phone calls are taking too long! I want to get my next movie on the way now! It is the perfectly haunting season for a comeback!" Lorne nodded his agreement as her dark eyes raked his lithe body. He was about to speak when she spoke again, "Although, if I'd had any clue how handsome you were, I would've come quicker."

Lorne smiled. "Sugar, you're almost enough woman to make me want to change my ways."

Gunn and Wesley exchanged a look as Fred, standing between them, pouted. Like Harmony, she was jealous of the guys' immediate attention to Elvira, but unlike the Vampiress, she wasn't about to cause a scene she couldn't handle or leave them alone with the Mistress of the Dark. The guys, on the other hand, couldn't believe that Lorne had said Elvira was only almost enough of a woman for anything! She was, after all, the kind of woman about whom every man with male-seeking testosterone fantasized about having time and again.

Even Spike, who truly had had her many years ago in a dingy, hotel room, had never once stopped wanting to take her again. Elvira had made it clear to him, when she'd left him, that he was no better than a toy to her, but he'd happily grovel at her heeled feet to have another chance to be played with by her. He knew, too, that he'd never stop dreaming of their encounters together and longing for another one, even if he did get unbelievably lucky and have her again. She was enough woman to make any man want her with only one look, as evidenced by the fact that he had lusted after her longer and harder than he ever had Drusilla or Buffy and even Angel, who was constantly wrapping himself with broody thoughts and memories concerning Buffy and Cordelia, had an obvious yearning for her. Spike grinned as Angel stepped behind Lorne's chair to hide his desire.

Elvira beamed at Lorne and fluttered her dark eyelashes. "You're just about enough man to make me want to do green again, hot pants, and trust me: green is not my color."

"Of course not." Lorne didn't miss a beat. "Basic black is, preferably with a touch of Witch's curses."

"Witch's curses?" Gunn mouthed to Wesley, who, in turn, shrugged. They were quickly becoming lost in the conversation, but what the woman was talking about didn't really matter. They didn't want her wrapped in black, green, or curses. They wanted her nude and beneath them so badly that they could not even think to introduce themselves.

"So a date's definitely out, but maybe we could go shopping together while we chat?" Elvira suggested with a wave of her dainty hand. "I do love your fashion sense!"

"I've always -- " Lorne started to say, but Spike interrupted him.

"As fascinating as all this talk about fashion and gift-wrapped Witch's curses is," the blonde Vampire interjected, "you're being a bit rude, Lorne." He strode boldly forward, his eyes seeking Elvira's. "You haven't introduced any of us to the Mistress." He was at last rewarded with Elvira's pupilless eyes looking directly into his.

His smile widened, brightened, and revealed just a hint of his fangs to remind her of the teeth he'd used the Halloween night they'd met. "How many Halloweens has it been?" he asked, taking her hand and kissing it. He left his mouth open as he kissed her hand and trailed the tip of his tongue over her skin. He felt the shiver he enticed run through her, and his smile, and groin, grew even bigger. "I haven't bothered to keep count," he admitted, "but I know it's definitely been too many."

She smiled and fluttered her eyelashes again. "Spike, I can't say I've forgotten you." But yet, she did not grant him the attention for which he yearned as she encompassed the room with her smile and gaze. "So I'm taking it that Tall, Dark, Broody, and Handsome over there is your grandsire, Angel, but who are your other friends?"

"Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum."

She laughed. How he had missed that sound! "No, really, darling. I've known the Tweedles for centuries, and they're not them."

"Hum." Gunn kicked the back of Wesley's right leg, sending him spiraling forward. He almost caught himself, then realized where he would land, and let himself go. He fell into Elvira, his hands smacking her perky breasts. She jumped within his palms, and he moaned aloud before he could stop himself.

"I usually reserve those feels for dates," she said, looking down at him with a knowing smile, "but go ahead. I'm every man's fantasy, after all." She tilted her beautiful, ghoulish head from side to side with pride.

Wesley felt of her large breasts for just a brief moment before Fred's sharp exclamation of, "Wesley!", caused him to remember his manners. Blushing a crimson so deep that the color of his face matched Lorne's eyes and fingernails, he released her. "I beg your pardon, madam!" He recoiled though fiber of his being screamed at him to grab her again and have his way with her right there in front of everybody.

She grinned at him and sashayed tempestuously. "We might get to that begging part later, handsome." She winked at him, then moved her gaze to the silent, but clearly strong, black man. "What's your name, handsome?"

"Gunn," he managed to squeak out at last. He didn't even see Fred's pouting and reddening face beside him.

"Ooh!" Elvira sashayed to him and touched his fingernails to his muscular chest. "I do love a good, naughty innuendo!" Slowly, she drew her fingernails down his chest to the hem of his tightening jeans. She leaned in to him until she could feel every inch of his muscles against her nubile body. "Maybe I can cock your pistol later, sweet thing."

Gunn bit his tongue to keep from releasing the moan she was building in him. He was just about to grab her and suggest, "How about now?", when she suddenly pulled away from him. At that moment, he could no longer stop his groan from becoming audible.

"But first thing's first," she said, sashaying again and knowing full and well that every man there was intently watching every bounce of her breasts. She reached out and grabbed Lorne's equally perfectly manicured hand. "We've got some shopping to do, and a Halloween party to plan! I've always heard Wolfram and Hart throws the best Halloween parties, and this year's celebration is going to outdo all of the ones before rolled together!"

"I'm sure it will," Wesley managed despite his suddenly dry throat, "if you're there."

Fred stomped her foot; she went unnoticed by all. "And while we're at it," Elvira continued as she led Lorne out the door, "we'll talk movie scripts and rights!"

"Anything you want, darling," Lorne assured her, petting her hand with his loose hand.

"Of course!" she exclaimed, tossing her hair and breasts. "I am the Queen of Halloween, after all!"

"That you are, my dear. Don't wait up!" he called back as every one who was left behind them fumed.

"What just happened?" Gunn demanded.

Spike sighed. "A gay guy got the woman of our nightmares."

"And he's just going to shop with her!" Wesley cried.

Angel growled.

Fred pouted but realized that she'd learned one thing, at least, from meeting the infamous ghoul, Elvira. She knew exactly who she was dressing up for as Halloween this year and probably year afterward! An Elvira costume would surely insure that she got whatever guy the Mistress of the Dark didn't choose! She looked worriedly around the room as she wondered who Elvira would choose and then considered that she might not leave any one available. Surely, the Vamp didn't have that kind of stamina. Surely, she'd have to leave her at least one of these hunks? Or would she? She might just take them all, Fred thought, considering the woman she'd just met, and pouted again.

The End

May 2017

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