The Better Good
Feb. 10th, 2015 06:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
katleeptTitle: The Better Good
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Angel
Character/Pairing: Angel/Cordelia
Rating: PG-13/T
Challenge: This is for a challenge at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
gameofcards. If you join, be sure to tell them Kat Lee of Team Hearts sent YOU!
Warning(s): None
Word Count: 849
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, not the author, and are used without permission.
"Hello, salty goodness." She still remembers the first words she said to him. She was so naive back then. She had never met before him, had no idea that he was a Vampire, and had barely began to think that such a thing, although she certainly hadn't been ready to call them Vampires or anything even remotely resembling the undead, might be snacking on Sunnydale's teenagers. She wouldn't have cared, either, as long as they had left her and her social life alone. But that was then.
Her life has changed so much since then. She's loved and lost. She's had everything she cared taken from her, everything but one thing, and now that, too, is being taken. She doesn't understand what exactly is happening to her, but she knows it isn't good. She also knows she's been tricked, and she has a sinking feeling deep down in her aching heart that she's never going to see Angel again.
Calm down, Seer. It's for the better good.
The better good! Everybody has always told her that her sacrifices would be for the better good. Buffy used to tell her, whenever she allowed her to borrow her car or put her in danger, that whatever she was doing to help her and her little friends was for the better good. Her father even had the audacity to tell her that her need for a job was for the better good, even when he took part of her paycheck from her. She'd tried to convince herself that moving to LA and suffering as she tried to become an actress was for her better good. Every one said that her visions inherited from Doyle was, again, for the better good.
The better good, the better good, yadda, yadda, yadda! She's so sick of being selfless, so sick of sacrificing, so sick of those dreaded words. She cries, but no tears fall down her face. All she wants to do is to see Angel again, see him and tell him how much she loves him. She should've told him long ago.
Yes, you should have.
Her heart sinks. She tries to scream, but something is holding her back. She can see her body, feel her body, but she no longer controls it. She wants to demand that this thing leave her alone, that it go back to where it came from and leave her with her body and with Angel.
No. That's no good. We can't do that. We need your body, Seer. We need you.
Of all the things she's ever sacrificed, from her wealth to her health and everything in between, this is the greatest sacrifice that's ever been expected of her. They told her at first that she was going to become a Higher Being and be able to help Angel more. They never told her that it would come at the cost of her body or her heart, which is breaking as she does finally see Angel again. She sees him again, but he has no idea that it's not really her at whom he's looking.
She wants to yell at him. She wants to scream and cry and pitch the biggest temper tantrum anybody's ever seen. She's been accused before of being a diva and a prima donna, but by God, this time she has a right to be! It's her body they're using, her life they're destroying, but by the time they've used her body to break Angel's will, there's so little of her once-strong will left. Her tears are even gone, not that ever fell down her face for she can't even control her body that much.
Her screams have turned to whispers, but still, as she sees him crying, she whispers, I'm sorry, Angel. I still love you. I always will. She feels hollow inside. Her body is no longer hers. All that remains of her true self is a wisp that hangs on for him, and she can bare watching him in pain caused by her apparent actions no longer.
I'll always love you. But as she fades, she has to wonder. How could any of this have been for the better good? How could the loss of her very self be for the better good? If only she'd never gone on that stupid bridge alone, if only she'd never kissed Doyle, if only she'd never learned that Vampires were real, if only she'd never been stupid enough to risk her life by fighting them, if only she'd never seen Angel that first, fateful night . . . But then it was true what the songs said. If she'd never seen him, if she'd never felt the love he gave her, she never would have lived.
Perhaps that would have been for the better good, for his better good. She'll never know, and she'll never know how long he could have loved her or if their love could have been greater than what he'd shared with Buffy. Could it have saved the universe? She'd died trying, and she knows one night, he will, too.
The End
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Angel
Character/Pairing: Angel/Cordelia
Rating: PG-13/T
Challenge: This is for a challenge at
gameofcards. If you join, be sure to tell them Kat Lee of Team Hearts sent YOU!Warning(s): None
Word Count: 849
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, not the author, and are used without permission.
"Hello, salty goodness." She still remembers the first words she said to him. She was so naive back then. She had never met before him, had no idea that he was a Vampire, and had barely began to think that such a thing, although she certainly hadn't been ready to call them Vampires or anything even remotely resembling the undead, might be snacking on Sunnydale's teenagers. She wouldn't have cared, either, as long as they had left her and her social life alone. But that was then.
Her life has changed so much since then. She's loved and lost. She's had everything she cared taken from her, everything but one thing, and now that, too, is being taken. She doesn't understand what exactly is happening to her, but she knows it isn't good. She also knows she's been tricked, and she has a sinking feeling deep down in her aching heart that she's never going to see Angel again.
Calm down, Seer. It's for the better good.
The better good! Everybody has always told her that her sacrifices would be for the better good. Buffy used to tell her, whenever she allowed her to borrow her car or put her in danger, that whatever she was doing to help her and her little friends was for the better good. Her father even had the audacity to tell her that her need for a job was for the better good, even when he took part of her paycheck from her. She'd tried to convince herself that moving to LA and suffering as she tried to become an actress was for her better good. Every one said that her visions inherited from Doyle was, again, for the better good.
The better good, the better good, yadda, yadda, yadda! She's so sick of being selfless, so sick of sacrificing, so sick of those dreaded words. She cries, but no tears fall down her face. All she wants to do is to see Angel again, see him and tell him how much she loves him. She should've told him long ago.
Yes, you should have.
Her heart sinks. She tries to scream, but something is holding her back. She can see her body, feel her body, but she no longer controls it. She wants to demand that this thing leave her alone, that it go back to where it came from and leave her with her body and with Angel.
No. That's no good. We can't do that. We need your body, Seer. We need you.
Of all the things she's ever sacrificed, from her wealth to her health and everything in between, this is the greatest sacrifice that's ever been expected of her. They told her at first that she was going to become a Higher Being and be able to help Angel more. They never told her that it would come at the cost of her body or her heart, which is breaking as she does finally see Angel again. She sees him again, but he has no idea that it's not really her at whom he's looking.
She wants to yell at him. She wants to scream and cry and pitch the biggest temper tantrum anybody's ever seen. She's been accused before of being a diva and a prima donna, but by God, this time she has a right to be! It's her body they're using, her life they're destroying, but by the time they've used her body to break Angel's will, there's so little of her once-strong will left. Her tears are even gone, not that ever fell down her face for she can't even control her body that much.
Her screams have turned to whispers, but still, as she sees him crying, she whispers, I'm sorry, Angel. I still love you. I always will. She feels hollow inside. Her body is no longer hers. All that remains of her true self is a wisp that hangs on for him, and she can bare watching him in pain caused by her apparent actions no longer.
I'll always love you. But as she fades, she has to wonder. How could any of this have been for the better good? How could the loss of her very self be for the better good? If only she'd never gone on that stupid bridge alone, if only she'd never kissed Doyle, if only she'd never learned that Vampires were real, if only she'd never been stupid enough to risk her life by fighting them, if only she'd never seen Angel that first, fateful night . . . But then it was true what the songs said. If she'd never seen him, if she'd never felt the love he gave her, she never would have lived.
Perhaps that would have been for the better good, for his better good. She'll never know, and she'll never know how long he could have loved her or if their love could have been greater than what he'd shared with Buffy. Could it have saved the universe? She'd died trying, and she knows one night, he will, too.
The End
