Wishes on an Irish Man
Mar. 17th, 2015 11:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
katleeptTitle: Wishes on an Irish Man
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: X-Men/Generation X
Character/Pairing: Mainly Sean/Emma but also with mentions of Sean/Moira and Scott/Emma
Rating: PG-13/T
Warning(s): Suicide
Word Count: 1,197
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Marvel Comics and Disney, not the author, and are used without permission.
She used to be an incredibly selfish person. She clawed her way to the top over through using all she met to the best of her advantage and even killing a good number of them. Those deaths do not bother her today, even when she wears the title of heroine. But deaths have shaped her. It was in losing her first group of students, who were cruelly massacred in an attempt to hurt her, that she finally stopped being selfish.
Yet, today, she is selfish. Today, she refuses to save the world. This is the day she sets aside every year for herself, for him, for remembering. She's lost so many, but of all of those she still misses, aside from her students, he is the one who marked her the most.
She still remembers how they met. Not the first time. The first time, they were on opposing sides, and she barely took notice of them. It is her memories of when they first met after she came out of her coma that make her smile through the tears filling her blue eyes. Charles Xavier brought her out of the coma, but it was Sean Cassidy who led her back to life.
She walks the green hills where once their school was as she thinks of him. She can easily still see their students running over the campus. She can hear their laughter and talk. If she squints right through the bright, morning sunlight, she can even see Everett and Angelo. She misses them still, but it is Sean who makes her heart truly weep.
The wind rustles through the leaves, and she hears his laughter, so deep and full. He was always so full of life, but yet, towards the end, he changed. She knows this because, from time to time, she would still visit his mind. He didn't feel her in those last days, but she knew before he ever sacrificed himself to save that plane full of people what he was planning.
She knew. She could have stopped him. Perhaps she should have, but then, what good would it have done? He had given so much to save her, their children, and thousands of innocents. He had given so much for the world, and he had lost himself in return. He wouldn't let her close, so she couldn't save him, not really. She could have controlled his mind and stopped him from making the sacrifice, but it would have only angered him. In the end, he would have still found a way to give his life.
Sean, you old fool, she thinks, wrapping her arms around her lithe body. She used to tease him for being foolish, but she never really meant it until that day. She knew what it was like to want to die. She had yearned for her own death after losing the Hellions, and that was why she'd chosen to stay in the coma until Xavier had awakened her. It had been an easy way out, and she had taken it, much the same as he had taken the ultimate path out.
He had been tired, she knew, but she was tired, too. She stays tired most of the time now, though she never lets on. The people who surround her every day don't care about her, she knows, but she cares about them. She cares about leaving the world a better place than once she would have made it. She cares about the next generation of mutants, and just as Sean did once, she is willing to make any sacrifice to make certain they have a better day. She doesn't want to see any more children die, and she will pay any price to ensure they don't.
That was why she chose to bed Scott Summers in the first place. Her heart got twisted up in that mess, and it still hurts some days to see him with another woman. It still hurts, but the pain is nothing when she compares it to the pain of losing the man she never had. Moira was a lucky, little bitch, but she never knew it. She never realized the hero she had in Sean Cassidy, but Emma did. She had been so tempted to take him from her, but although he'd been tempted, too, he had never betrayed her. Emma, likewise, would never betray him to use her telepathy on him to make him come to her.
Besides, she reflects now as she had then, she hadn't wanted him to come to her because he had to. She had ached for him to love her, but he never had. Still, she loves him. She loves him, and she never told him and will never tell a soul.
She walks on through the sprawling lands that was their campus. Each spot holds a memory she treasures. She passes through where Emplate held them all in cocoons. She walks, alone, through the remains of the Danger Grotto. She pauses again, remembering when she'd first watched him carefully hold out an apple for Penance.
Sean had been such a good man. He wasn't just handsome with a smooth, Irish accent that had done wonders to her body. She recalls, with great fondness, how that accent would make her shiver some mornings when all he said was "G' mornin', lass." He'd never known how he made her feel so greatly so easily, but she knows it wouldn't have made a difference if he had. Sean Cassidy, after all, was a man of honor more than anything else, and his heart had been pledged to Moira. Lucky, little bitch.
Emma shoves the thought of the Scottish doctor from her mind. She doesn't want to think of Moira. She doesn't want to spoil today. She wants only to remember Sean Cassidy, the wonderful man he'd been, and the amazing way he'd made her feel. There were times when she'd thought, always foolishly, that she could be the only woman for him. There were times when their eyes locked, when they shared the same thought, when they stood together against all odds that she had been able to believe he could love her.
But he never had whereas she knows she will never stop loving him. She wonders what he would think if he could see her now, the infamous, hard White Queen dressed all in green, wandering the grounds of their old school, and yearning for him so desperately that, sometimes, she can barely see the path she treads for the tears filling her eyes. She blinks them back again, bends, and plucks a dandelion.
She teased him for being an old, silly fool when he'd first offered her one, but he hadn't left her alone until she'd blown on it. "Now make a wish, lass," he'd said, "an' we'll make it come true." But he never had. He'd never kissed her. He'd never loved her.
Her heart aches, but she still blows on the dandelion, knowing full and well her wish will never come true. "Happy Saint Patty's Day, Sean," she whispers but says no more though her whole being sings out, I love you.
The End
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: X-Men/Generation X
Character/Pairing: Mainly Sean/Emma but also with mentions of Sean/Moira and Scott/Emma
Rating: PG-13/T
Warning(s): Suicide
Word Count: 1,197
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Marvel Comics and Disney, not the author, and are used without permission.
She used to be an incredibly selfish person. She clawed her way to the top over through using all she met to the best of her advantage and even killing a good number of them. Those deaths do not bother her today, even when she wears the title of heroine. But deaths have shaped her. It was in losing her first group of students, who were cruelly massacred in an attempt to hurt her, that she finally stopped being selfish.
Yet, today, she is selfish. Today, she refuses to save the world. This is the day she sets aside every year for herself, for him, for remembering. She's lost so many, but of all of those she still misses, aside from her students, he is the one who marked her the most.
She still remembers how they met. Not the first time. The first time, they were on opposing sides, and she barely took notice of them. It is her memories of when they first met after she came out of her coma that make her smile through the tears filling her blue eyes. Charles Xavier brought her out of the coma, but it was Sean Cassidy who led her back to life.
She walks the green hills where once their school was as she thinks of him. She can easily still see their students running over the campus. She can hear their laughter and talk. If she squints right through the bright, morning sunlight, she can even see Everett and Angelo. She misses them still, but it is Sean who makes her heart truly weep.
The wind rustles through the leaves, and she hears his laughter, so deep and full. He was always so full of life, but yet, towards the end, he changed. She knows this because, from time to time, she would still visit his mind. He didn't feel her in those last days, but she knew before he ever sacrificed himself to save that plane full of people what he was planning.
She knew. She could have stopped him. Perhaps she should have, but then, what good would it have done? He had given so much to save her, their children, and thousands of innocents. He had given so much for the world, and he had lost himself in return. He wouldn't let her close, so she couldn't save him, not really. She could have controlled his mind and stopped him from making the sacrifice, but it would have only angered him. In the end, he would have still found a way to give his life.
Sean, you old fool, she thinks, wrapping her arms around her lithe body. She used to tease him for being foolish, but she never really meant it until that day. She knew what it was like to want to die. She had yearned for her own death after losing the Hellions, and that was why she'd chosen to stay in the coma until Xavier had awakened her. It had been an easy way out, and she had taken it, much the same as he had taken the ultimate path out.
He had been tired, she knew, but she was tired, too. She stays tired most of the time now, though she never lets on. The people who surround her every day don't care about her, she knows, but she cares about them. She cares about leaving the world a better place than once she would have made it. She cares about the next generation of mutants, and just as Sean did once, she is willing to make any sacrifice to make certain they have a better day. She doesn't want to see any more children die, and she will pay any price to ensure they don't.
That was why she chose to bed Scott Summers in the first place. Her heart got twisted up in that mess, and it still hurts some days to see him with another woman. It still hurts, but the pain is nothing when she compares it to the pain of losing the man she never had. Moira was a lucky, little bitch, but she never knew it. She never realized the hero she had in Sean Cassidy, but Emma did. She had been so tempted to take him from her, but although he'd been tempted, too, he had never betrayed her. Emma, likewise, would never betray him to use her telepathy on him to make him come to her.
Besides, she reflects now as she had then, she hadn't wanted him to come to her because he had to. She had ached for him to love her, but he never had. Still, she loves him. She loves him, and she never told him and will never tell a soul.
She walks on through the sprawling lands that was their campus. Each spot holds a memory she treasures. She passes through where Emplate held them all in cocoons. She walks, alone, through the remains of the Danger Grotto. She pauses again, remembering when she'd first watched him carefully hold out an apple for Penance.
Sean had been such a good man. He wasn't just handsome with a smooth, Irish accent that had done wonders to her body. She recalls, with great fondness, how that accent would make her shiver some mornings when all he said was "G' mornin', lass." He'd never known how he made her feel so greatly so easily, but she knows it wouldn't have made a difference if he had. Sean Cassidy, after all, was a man of honor more than anything else, and his heart had been pledged to Moira. Lucky, little bitch.
Emma shoves the thought of the Scottish doctor from her mind. She doesn't want to think of Moira. She doesn't want to spoil today. She wants only to remember Sean Cassidy, the wonderful man he'd been, and the amazing way he'd made her feel. There were times when she'd thought, always foolishly, that she could be the only woman for him. There were times when their eyes locked, when they shared the same thought, when they stood together against all odds that she had been able to believe he could love her.
But he never had whereas she knows she will never stop loving him. She wonders what he would think if he could see her now, the infamous, hard White Queen dressed all in green, wandering the grounds of their old school, and yearning for him so desperately that, sometimes, she can barely see the path she treads for the tears filling her eyes. She blinks them back again, bends, and plucks a dandelion.
She teased him for being an old, silly fool when he'd first offered her one, but he hadn't left her alone until she'd blown on it. "Now make a wish, lass," he'd said, "an' we'll make it come true." But he never had. He'd never kissed her. He'd never loved her.
Her heart aches, but she still blows on the dandelion, knowing full and well her wish will never come true. "Happy Saint Patty's Day, Sean," she whispers but says no more though her whole being sings out, I love you.
The End
