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katleeptTitle: Tomorrow
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Supernatural
Character/Pairing: Dean/Sam
Rating: PG-13/T
Challenge:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
writers_choice: #603: Sticker
Warning(s): Underage, (W)Incest
Word Count: 1,172
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
He watches his brother through half-lidded eyes, his hand tight on his bottle. Somehow despite everything they've endured both from their father and from the monsters they've faced, Sam has somehow managed to still hold on to an air of innocence. He's not jaded like Dean. He's not a killer, not even much of a fighter. It's more than an air, Dean knows. Somehow, despite everything, Sammy is still innocent.
And that's what he should be thinking of him as: his innocent, little brother Sammy, the boy who wants to run away from the fight, the boy who deserves to be safe and loved and a hundred other things that Dean can never give him in this life. He's his baby brother, and what he's doing is innocent enough too. He's putting stickers with his name on them on everything he's taking with him when he leaves for college, when he leaves Dean.
Dean swallows hard at that thought. That's why he's drinking tonight. It's not to forget their latest disappointment in their father. It's not to forget what the old man does to them and has never done for them. It's not even to forget the latest monster of the week or the thousands of memories Dean already has that give him nightmares any time he sleeps without Sammy curled by his side. It's to forget that Sam is leaving. Sam is growing up, and he's leaving Dean behind.
It's as it should be, Dean tells himself yet again. Sam has every right to want better than this, to want out of this, to want away from him and his father, men he could never really be like no matter how hard he tried. But he hasn't tried, not really. That's one of the many reasons why Dean's angry at him, but he knows that anger isn't going to get him anywhere.
They've yelled. They've cussed. They've thrown things. Dean's left Sammy in this ratty hotel room and went fucked and drank as hard as he could, but in the end, when he crawled his drunken butt back to the hotel, nothing had changed. Sammy was still leaving come Fall, and now that day is almost here. In a few more hours, Sammy will be gone.
He's been a good, big brother, Dean reflects. There's never been a time when he hasn't really put Sammy first except for that short period of time when he himself had tried to run away from their lives as hunters. He can't run, but maybe Sammy can. Maybe he can have the life he deserves, the life they've both wanted. Maybe he can leave Dean behind and finally be safe, be happy, be whole without the nightmares.
Dean's grip on his bottle tightens. What's he going to do when he closes his eyes tomorrow night? What's he going to do when the nightmares start again and his baby brother is nowhere to be found? He always tells Sammy they still sleep together because there's usually one bed. He pretends he takes pity on him quite often and is the comforting him, but the truth is, for years now, it's been Sammy's body pressed against his that has comforted Dean, not the other way around.
But now that comfort is going to be gone. He's not going to get a damn wink of peaceful sleep unless he can somehow drink enough to finally stop his nightmares, but that's never worked before. Nothing has ever worked before but the comforting presence of his little brother.
But Sammy deserves this. He can't take his chance away from him. He can't be the one to finish condemning his little brother to the life their father condemned him to long ago. He won't steal his dreams from him. He won't hurt him, ever.
Besides, it's probably for the best the whole way around. Not only will Sammy be free of the monsters, he'll be free of Dean, too. Dean's tongue runs over his lips as he watches his brother move in their tiny hotel room. Sam has no idea how he watches him, how he looks at him when he thinks he's not even paying attention to him, and that definitely is for the best.
It would terrify him. It used to terrify Dean, but the older Winchester can no more stop the naughty thoughts that cloud his brain than he can stop fighting the monsters they always seem to find or that, perhaps find them. He can't change what he thinks no more than he can change who and what he is. And as he watches Sammy bending over, his tight blue jeans framing the curve of his ass so perfectly, Dean can't seem to stop imagining him bending over him instead.
The bottle slips from his hand. Sam jumps and whirls around. "Dean?" he asks, and Dean suddenly realizes just how nervous the boy sometimes gets in his presence. It's his big brother; he's supposed to protect him, not scare him.
"Sorry, Sam," he says, but still, he reaches for another beer. He's going to need all the alcohol he can get tonight for tonight, he's got to be the strongest he's ever been. He's got to let Sammy go in the morning. He's got to let him run free and live his own life so he'll finally be free of the monsters, of their father, and perhaps most importantly of all, of him.
He finishes his beer and lays down on the single bed in the room. He should be ashamed of always making sure the rooms in which they stay have only one bed, but he's not. He wants his own brother too damn bad to be ashamed. Perhaps that is the thing of which he should be the most ashamed. Perhaps he should be most ashamed that he scares Sammy, and of that, he is but not enough to stop. It will be enough, however, to make him let Sam go in the morning. Of that, he must be certain.
It's his job to protect his little brother, even and especially if that means protecting him from him, and he will. In the morning, he will let him go. Starting tomorrow, he'll be alone with the monsters and his memories, without his Sammy or their father, and with only his bad, bad memories for comfort. Hours pass with Dean feigning sleep before Sam finally lays down on the bed beside him.
Dean reminds himself of all that is to come tomorrow, but that is tomorrow. For tonight, he's got a few more hours with his baby brother who's grown into a very sexy young man without ever realizing it. When he thinks Sam is asleep, Dean reaches out and touches his hand. When he doesn't move, he curls his fingers around his hand. He smiles when Sammy's fingers entwine with his. Tomorrow, he'll let him go, but for tonight, they both feign sleep while stealing a little more time with the brother they love dearest.
The End
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Supernatural
Character/Pairing: Dean/Sam
Rating: PG-13/T
Challenge:
writers_choice: #603: StickerWarning(s): Underage, (W)Incest
Word Count: 1,172
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
He watches his brother through half-lidded eyes, his hand tight on his bottle. Somehow despite everything they've endured both from their father and from the monsters they've faced, Sam has somehow managed to still hold on to an air of innocence. He's not jaded like Dean. He's not a killer, not even much of a fighter. It's more than an air, Dean knows. Somehow, despite everything, Sammy is still innocent.
And that's what he should be thinking of him as: his innocent, little brother Sammy, the boy who wants to run away from the fight, the boy who deserves to be safe and loved and a hundred other things that Dean can never give him in this life. He's his baby brother, and what he's doing is innocent enough too. He's putting stickers with his name on them on everything he's taking with him when he leaves for college, when he leaves Dean.
Dean swallows hard at that thought. That's why he's drinking tonight. It's not to forget their latest disappointment in their father. It's not to forget what the old man does to them and has never done for them. It's not even to forget the latest monster of the week or the thousands of memories Dean already has that give him nightmares any time he sleeps without Sammy curled by his side. It's to forget that Sam is leaving. Sam is growing up, and he's leaving Dean behind.
It's as it should be, Dean tells himself yet again. Sam has every right to want better than this, to want out of this, to want away from him and his father, men he could never really be like no matter how hard he tried. But he hasn't tried, not really. That's one of the many reasons why Dean's angry at him, but he knows that anger isn't going to get him anywhere.
They've yelled. They've cussed. They've thrown things. Dean's left Sammy in this ratty hotel room and went fucked and drank as hard as he could, but in the end, when he crawled his drunken butt back to the hotel, nothing had changed. Sammy was still leaving come Fall, and now that day is almost here. In a few more hours, Sammy will be gone.
He's been a good, big brother, Dean reflects. There's never been a time when he hasn't really put Sammy first except for that short period of time when he himself had tried to run away from their lives as hunters. He can't run, but maybe Sammy can. Maybe he can have the life he deserves, the life they've both wanted. Maybe he can leave Dean behind and finally be safe, be happy, be whole without the nightmares.
Dean's grip on his bottle tightens. What's he going to do when he closes his eyes tomorrow night? What's he going to do when the nightmares start again and his baby brother is nowhere to be found? He always tells Sammy they still sleep together because there's usually one bed. He pretends he takes pity on him quite often and is the comforting him, but the truth is, for years now, it's been Sammy's body pressed against his that has comforted Dean, not the other way around.
But now that comfort is going to be gone. He's not going to get a damn wink of peaceful sleep unless he can somehow drink enough to finally stop his nightmares, but that's never worked before. Nothing has ever worked before but the comforting presence of his little brother.
But Sammy deserves this. He can't take his chance away from him. He can't be the one to finish condemning his little brother to the life their father condemned him to long ago. He won't steal his dreams from him. He won't hurt him, ever.
Besides, it's probably for the best the whole way around. Not only will Sammy be free of the monsters, he'll be free of Dean, too. Dean's tongue runs over his lips as he watches his brother move in their tiny hotel room. Sam has no idea how he watches him, how he looks at him when he thinks he's not even paying attention to him, and that definitely is for the best.
It would terrify him. It used to terrify Dean, but the older Winchester can no more stop the naughty thoughts that cloud his brain than he can stop fighting the monsters they always seem to find or that, perhaps find them. He can't change what he thinks no more than he can change who and what he is. And as he watches Sammy bending over, his tight blue jeans framing the curve of his ass so perfectly, Dean can't seem to stop imagining him bending over him instead.
The bottle slips from his hand. Sam jumps and whirls around. "Dean?" he asks, and Dean suddenly realizes just how nervous the boy sometimes gets in his presence. It's his big brother; he's supposed to protect him, not scare him.
"Sorry, Sam," he says, but still, he reaches for another beer. He's going to need all the alcohol he can get tonight for tonight, he's got to be the strongest he's ever been. He's got to let Sammy go in the morning. He's got to let him run free and live his own life so he'll finally be free of the monsters, of their father, and perhaps most importantly of all, of him.
He finishes his beer and lays down on the single bed in the room. He should be ashamed of always making sure the rooms in which they stay have only one bed, but he's not. He wants his own brother too damn bad to be ashamed. Perhaps that is the thing of which he should be the most ashamed. Perhaps he should be most ashamed that he scares Sammy, and of that, he is but not enough to stop. It will be enough, however, to make him let Sam go in the morning. Of that, he must be certain.
It's his job to protect his little brother, even and especially if that means protecting him from him, and he will. In the morning, he will let him go. Starting tomorrow, he'll be alone with the monsters and his memories, without his Sammy or their father, and with only his bad, bad memories for comfort. Hours pass with Dean feigning sleep before Sam finally lays down on the bed beside him.
Dean reminds himself of all that is to come tomorrow, but that is tomorrow. For tonight, he's got a few more hours with his baby brother who's grown into a very sexy young man without ever realizing it. When he thinks Sam is asleep, Dean reaches out and touches his hand. When he doesn't move, he curls his fingers around his hand. He smiles when Sammy's fingers entwine with his. Tomorrow, he'll let him go, but for tonight, they both feign sleep while stealing a little more time with the brother they love dearest.
The End
