Come Home, Little Dragon

[katleept]

Title: Come Home, Little Dragon
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: X-Men
Character/Pairing: Shadowcat, Lockheed, mentions of Wisdom/Pryde and Piotr/Kitty
Rating: PG/K+
Challenge/Prompt: 1_million_words Comment Fic: Space
Warning(s): None
Word Count: 639
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Marvel Comics and Disney, not the author, and are used without permission.



I thought you just needed your space, so I let you have it, as hard as it was for me, just like way back when we first moved to Britain. I realize now that I should've known something was amiss. You didn't choose to hide underneath my bed back then -- you were held captive by the Bamfs --, and I should've known something was wrong again just like it was before.

But I didn't. Maybe I'm an idiot. I know I'm supposed to be a genius, but when it comes to relationships, my brain evidently leaves a lot lacking. I'm so sorry I didn't see it. I'm so sorry I didn't know how lonely you were, or that you felt distanced from me because of the Peters in my life. God knows I would've chosen you even then over either of those two idiots, and yes, I can say for sure now that they are idiots.

But they're not the only ones. I'm the one who kept taking Piotr back. I'm the one who thought I saw something more than just a grouchy, cussing wanker in Wisdom. I'm the one who let my heart be broken so many times by them both, and now it's breaking again.

I had to say I understood when you left me again, 'Heed. I had to let you go. It's that old adage about if you love some one, you'll let them go, and if they really love you, they'll come back again. I heard that line way too many times when Piotr was off finding himself, grieving for that other woman he met on that alien planet, and then following Magneto, of all people.

I had to let you go, because I knew you wouldn't be happy here. I can't make you happy any longer, and I think that's really what hurts the most. You're my best friend. I've lost boyfriends, girlfriends, family members . . . But none of the losses I have endured before can measure against the loss I feel now. It's not your fault, though. It's mine.

I'm the one who sent you packing. I'm the one who let you down to the point that you felt you had to find friends and adventures elsewhere. I just never would've dreamed you'd go as far as to outer space to find what you need. I wonder every day if you've found it. Have you found some one else with whom you've built a bond like the one I thought we had? A girl dragon maybe? Have you fallen in love, perhaps even had young draglings?

I don't know what to think. I cry every night for you. I'm so lonely without you. My shoulders feel bare without your constant, silently reassuring weight on them. But I was the idiot. I'm the one who didn't appreciate you enough when you were here.

I'm sorry, 'Heed, so, so very sorry. Maybe one day you'll come back to me again. Maybe one day you'll have enough of all the adventures you can find in outer space. Maybe one day you'll need me again, like I've needed you, always have, and always will. I still remember how you used to lick the tears from my face; I can so use that right now. I so need you right now. So I'm here still waiting, if you ever decide to come back home.

I blink through my tears, refocus the gaze on the moon, but there's no little dot on the night sky coming nearer. There's not a sound of flapping wings. There's no indication you're coming home tonight. So I walk away. I fall into my bed, empty without you despite all the stuffed animals, and I cry myself to sleep again, feeling so lonely without you. Won't you please come home?

The End