Angel: Spike/Angel/Cordy
Jun. 18th, 2013 01:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
katleeptTitle: "Cordelia's Shadow"
Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: R due to adult content
Summary:
Warnings: Slash, Het, Unrequited Love, Suicide Thoughts
Disclaimer: Spike, Angel, Cordelia Chase, Drusilla, and Buffy Summers are © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Everything else is © & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
When he closes his eyes, I know it's not me he sees. When he sprinkles my face with tender kisses, I know, in his mind's eye, it's her lovely, feminine face that his lips are caressing with love far greater than anything he'll ever feel for me. When he kisses my chest and takes my small nipples in his fangs, I know he's imagining his hot mouth being filled with far fuller breasts, and when he grabs me by the throat, I know his illusions have been shattered and he's seeing me and hating himself.
I know my sire better than any one else including himself, and I know he'll never love me. He covers himself and maintains our relationship, such as it is, with lies, but I know better than to believe any of them. I hear the truth every night in his whimpers of her name as I hold him tight and do my best to calm his trembles. Sometimes he even screams her name in the midst of our passion, but I carry on as though I've heard nothing for I've felt the consequences of reacting too many times before.
He thinks my love for him runs as thinly as his infatuation for me and what I can do to his magnificent body, but he'll never know just how deep my love for him runs. He'll never know, because I'll never tell him. I've learned my lesson and know that, as love's bitch, you only get hurt. Though I die a little with each reminder that he'll never return the all-encompassing love I feel for him, I'll never be the bloody git stupid enough to tell him the power he wields over me.
I'll take whatever he gives me and come crawling for more. I'll do whatever he wants just to please him, and if he ever tells me that he never wants to set eyes on me again and really means it, I'll walk out of the shadows and into the sun for any kind of life without him in it isn't worth living. Even throughout all those years with Drusilla and Buffy, both women I only pretended to care for because it angered him and made him glare in my direction, it was the opportunities to fight with him that fueled my existence.
I'll do whatever he wants except believe him. I'll take his lies and lock them away inside of me with a smile. I'll let him make the union of our bodies into whatever he chooses -- his personal paradise or my private Hell. Only he possesses the power to shake my whole being and turn my life into a trap. It's not a power I gave him. It's one he took for himself when I fell in love with him upon first setting eyes on him in that dark alley centuries ago, and so I'll stay, trapped in Cordelia's shadow until he finally turns the key and throws me away for as long as he never loves me, death is my only escape from the pain he tortures me with, and as I know he'll never love me, I can only hope one night he'll kill me. Even then, whatever fragment of my black soul that remains will linger on in the torture chamber of her shadow for I will still love only him.
The End
Title: "Angel's Sorrow"
Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: R due to mature content
Summary:
Warnings: Slash, Het, Suicide Thoughts
Disclaimer: Spike, Angel, and Cordelia Chase are © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Everything else is © & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
They said he was strong. They said he was one of the ultimate warriors throughout the world. They cheered him on through every physical battle and believed that he could save the world every time it faced apocalypse. But they didn't know.
They didn't know that he did not even possess the strength to do the one thing he should have done long ago when he lost the only woman he'd ever truly loved. They didn't know he was a coward, safely watching the sun he should embrace in the open from behind protective glass.
They didn't know he was a coward, too afraid to face himself and taking refuge in arms that he had no right to want to hold him. They didn't know he lived a lie, too afraid to let go of the past for fear that it would mean he loved her less and scared to death to embrace the love offered him for fear of what others would think.
They praised him for slaying monsters and saving the world, but they didn't know he didn't have the power to save himself. Spike saved him every night with his gentle caresses and loving touches, and when he lacked the courage to relish in them and truly live again, even if only for a few seconds, he beat him. None but the weakest stole what they perceived to be strength from beating those who loved them. Spike was the only one who still cared more about him than anything else, including his own self, and Angel repaid that love and trust by beating him.
He hung his head. Nothing could have shamed him more, even though he knew that when his growing feelings for Spike again caused him to feel as though he was making less of Cordelia's memory, he would start attacking him all over again. Alone in his office, he let his tears fall as he whispered words he believed his childe would never get to hear for he'd never be brave enough to tell him. "I love you, Spike. Thank you."
{Thank you for loving me, for comforting me, for putting up with me, for being there for me, for understanding, for loving me even if you'll never tell me so.} He cried his misery, his sorrow, his grief, and, most of all, his regret as another Angel looked down upon him in loving compassion and wept from her place in the Heavens.
The End
Title: "One Moment at a Time with His Angel"
Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: R due to sexual references and foreplay
Summary:
Warnings: Slash, Abusive Relationship
Word Count: 998
Challenge: Fan Fic Land's weekly drabble challenge for 30 August, 2010: "In the shadows"
Date Written: 2 September, 2010
Disclaimer: Spike and Angel are © & TM Joss Whedon and any and all other possible respective owners, none of which are the author, and are used without permission. Everything else is © & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
The night was done; the battle was over. He should have been happy, his blood lust sated and soul victorious, but he was not for as he gazed into the shadows and met the dark eyes of his partner, he understood the message silently shining in those beseeching, enchanting eyes. Would he come with him for one more day, spend one more day in his arms, and then let him run away into the night as he always did when he was finished with him? Would he allow him to find his paradise in his arms one more time and then thrust him away once again like discarded trash?
Spike froze as he gazed into Angel's eyes, but already he knew the answer. It would be the same one he always gave him; the same one he had always eventually given his grandsire when in control of his own being; the same one he would always give him, no matter how many times he destroyed his black heart after sharing with him the bliss he had always only found in his strong, loving, but also unforgiving arms; the same one that granted him what he needed even more than he needed the blood that coiled, warming, in his stomach; and the same one that would always condemn him to being love's bitch. He was love's bitch, and he had never once denied that fact.
Spike swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and walked through the shadows that were beginning to fade. The other fighters were forgotten by the two Vampires as they embraced in the shadows. Angel angled his head for Spike's neck, and Spike shivered deliciously inside as he ran his tongue over a cut and drank his blood. Angel pulled back after a fleeting moment and gazed into Spike's eyes, his cold, pale hands caressing his handsome face. "We have to hurry. The sun will be up soon."
Spike gave a brief nod, the only answer he'd dared allow himself to give at this time. A thousand emotions swirled through him at once: the eternal need and undying love he would always feel for Angel alone; the misery that plagued him for he knew the painful misery and betrayal that would come when Angel was done with him this time; and the fury that radiated through his every fiber at the thought of the Hell to which Angel condemned them both. He knew he loved him, or else he'd have not come to him again and again throughout the centuries they'd shared together. Yet, also with just as much surety, Spike knew that Angel would never allow himself to admit that he loved a monster, no more than he would stop running from the monster that always lurked within himself.
Spike wanted to beg Angel to stop running, cease his hiding, and embrace the love that they'd been given though neither of them deserved it, but he refused the burning need in his being for he knew that doing so would only cause his beloved Angel to become his tormenting Demon even more swiftly. He would yell at him, scream at him, refuse their love, cuss him out in every language they knew, inform him heatedly that he was only an ends to a means and could never be anything more for he was good now whereas Spike would never be as good as he was for he'd never possess a soul of such purity, and then he'd hit him. He'd hit him again and again, and Spike would either respond, prompting them both to beat each other to a bloody pulp, or he would crawl away, slide deeper into the shadows that always offered him protection, and lick his wounds. Either way, he would be cheated of the moments Angel was offering him now, the rare moments of love that Angel actually allowed himself to give them, and those were moments for which he would gladly give anything, even the soul he'd fought so hard to achieve, and they were the moments that truly made his unlife worth surviving.
Thus it was that Spike stepped into Angel's waiting arms and let him pull him into hiding from the first rays of the rising sun. He let him kiss him and shivered inside. He let Angel's hands roam over him as his own hands tentatively reached out and began to touch the sensual body that filled his every good dream. He moaned when he slipped his tongue into his mouth and deepened their kiss, and he began to respond at last in full and hearty eagerness as he pushed the thoughts of what would come that night to the furthest recesses of his mind. It would happen, he knew. Angel would betray him again, turn away from him and toss him and their love away as he always did, but Spike also knew that he would come again. After all, he always did, and as much as his beloved grandsire would never admit, Spike knew, with a silent grin chasing his dark lips, that he, too, was love's bitch.
He whispered none of the words of love that churned through his poet's mind but took all that Angel offered him, gave him everything he possessed, and silently begged for an eternity of more. He showed him with his touches how much he would always love him alone but never spoke a word of the truth of his feelings as Angel returned his every sizzling kiss, ravishing lick, naughty nip, and passionate touch with just as much fervor. He yearned for an eternity of these moments spent loving the man who would always possess all his heart and love with a burning need more powerful, desperate, and aching than anything else he'd ever known or, indeed, anything he would ever know, but he would take that eternity one moment in the shadows at a time as long as that was all his Angel would give him.
The End
Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: R due to adult content
Summary:
Warnings: Slash, Het, Unrequited Love, Suicide Thoughts
Disclaimer: Spike, Angel, Cordelia Chase, Drusilla, and Buffy Summers are © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Everything else is © & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
When he closes his eyes, I know it's not me he sees. When he sprinkles my face with tender kisses, I know, in his mind's eye, it's her lovely, feminine face that his lips are caressing with love far greater than anything he'll ever feel for me. When he kisses my chest and takes my small nipples in his fangs, I know he's imagining his hot mouth being filled with far fuller breasts, and when he grabs me by the throat, I know his illusions have been shattered and he's seeing me and hating himself.
I know my sire better than any one else including himself, and I know he'll never love me. He covers himself and maintains our relationship, such as it is, with lies, but I know better than to believe any of them. I hear the truth every night in his whimpers of her name as I hold him tight and do my best to calm his trembles. Sometimes he even screams her name in the midst of our passion, but I carry on as though I've heard nothing for I've felt the consequences of reacting too many times before.
He thinks my love for him runs as thinly as his infatuation for me and what I can do to his magnificent body, but he'll never know just how deep my love for him runs. He'll never know, because I'll never tell him. I've learned my lesson and know that, as love's bitch, you only get hurt. Though I die a little with each reminder that he'll never return the all-encompassing love I feel for him, I'll never be the bloody git stupid enough to tell him the power he wields over me.
I'll take whatever he gives me and come crawling for more. I'll do whatever he wants just to please him, and if he ever tells me that he never wants to set eyes on me again and really means it, I'll walk out of the shadows and into the sun for any kind of life without him in it isn't worth living. Even throughout all those years with Drusilla and Buffy, both women I only pretended to care for because it angered him and made him glare in my direction, it was the opportunities to fight with him that fueled my existence.
I'll do whatever he wants except believe him. I'll take his lies and lock them away inside of me with a smile. I'll let him make the union of our bodies into whatever he chooses -- his personal paradise or my private Hell. Only he possesses the power to shake my whole being and turn my life into a trap. It's not a power I gave him. It's one he took for himself when I fell in love with him upon first setting eyes on him in that dark alley centuries ago, and so I'll stay, trapped in Cordelia's shadow until he finally turns the key and throws me away for as long as he never loves me, death is my only escape from the pain he tortures me with, and as I know he'll never love me, I can only hope one night he'll kill me. Even then, whatever fragment of my black soul that remains will linger on in the torture chamber of her shadow for I will still love only him.
The End
Title: "Angel's Sorrow"
Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: R due to mature content
Summary:
Warnings: Slash, Het, Suicide Thoughts
Disclaimer: Spike, Angel, and Cordelia Chase are © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Everything else is © & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
They said he was strong. They said he was one of the ultimate warriors throughout the world. They cheered him on through every physical battle and believed that he could save the world every time it faced apocalypse. But they didn't know.
They didn't know that he did not even possess the strength to do the one thing he should have done long ago when he lost the only woman he'd ever truly loved. They didn't know he was a coward, safely watching the sun he should embrace in the open from behind protective glass.
They didn't know he was a coward, too afraid to face himself and taking refuge in arms that he had no right to want to hold him. They didn't know he lived a lie, too afraid to let go of the past for fear that it would mean he loved her less and scared to death to embrace the love offered him for fear of what others would think.
They praised him for slaying monsters and saving the world, but they didn't know he didn't have the power to save himself. Spike saved him every night with his gentle caresses and loving touches, and when he lacked the courage to relish in them and truly live again, even if only for a few seconds, he beat him. None but the weakest stole what they perceived to be strength from beating those who loved them. Spike was the only one who still cared more about him than anything else, including his own self, and Angel repaid that love and trust by beating him.
He hung his head. Nothing could have shamed him more, even though he knew that when his growing feelings for Spike again caused him to feel as though he was making less of Cordelia's memory, he would start attacking him all over again. Alone in his office, he let his tears fall as he whispered words he believed his childe would never get to hear for he'd never be brave enough to tell him. "I love you, Spike. Thank you."
{Thank you for loving me, for comforting me, for putting up with me, for being there for me, for understanding, for loving me even if you'll never tell me so.} He cried his misery, his sorrow, his grief, and, most of all, his regret as another Angel looked down upon him in loving compassion and wept from her place in the Heavens.
The End
Title: "One Moment at a Time with His Angel"
Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: R due to sexual references and foreplay
Summary:
Warnings: Slash, Abusive Relationship
Word Count: 998
Challenge: Fan Fic Land's weekly drabble challenge for 30 August, 2010: "In the shadows"
Date Written: 2 September, 2010
Disclaimer: Spike and Angel are © & TM Joss Whedon and any and all other possible respective owners, none of which are the author, and are used without permission. Everything else is © & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
The night was done; the battle was over. He should have been happy, his blood lust sated and soul victorious, but he was not for as he gazed into the shadows and met the dark eyes of his partner, he understood the message silently shining in those beseeching, enchanting eyes. Would he come with him for one more day, spend one more day in his arms, and then let him run away into the night as he always did when he was finished with him? Would he allow him to find his paradise in his arms one more time and then thrust him away once again like discarded trash?
Spike froze as he gazed into Angel's eyes, but already he knew the answer. It would be the same one he always gave him; the same one he had always eventually given his grandsire when in control of his own being; the same one he would always give him, no matter how many times he destroyed his black heart after sharing with him the bliss he had always only found in his strong, loving, but also unforgiving arms; the same one that granted him what he needed even more than he needed the blood that coiled, warming, in his stomach; and the same one that would always condemn him to being love's bitch. He was love's bitch, and he had never once denied that fact.
Spike swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and walked through the shadows that were beginning to fade. The other fighters were forgotten by the two Vampires as they embraced in the shadows. Angel angled his head for Spike's neck, and Spike shivered deliciously inside as he ran his tongue over a cut and drank his blood. Angel pulled back after a fleeting moment and gazed into Spike's eyes, his cold, pale hands caressing his handsome face. "We have to hurry. The sun will be up soon."
Spike gave a brief nod, the only answer he'd dared allow himself to give at this time. A thousand emotions swirled through him at once: the eternal need and undying love he would always feel for Angel alone; the misery that plagued him for he knew the painful misery and betrayal that would come when Angel was done with him this time; and the fury that radiated through his every fiber at the thought of the Hell to which Angel condemned them both. He knew he loved him, or else he'd have not come to him again and again throughout the centuries they'd shared together. Yet, also with just as much surety, Spike knew that Angel would never allow himself to admit that he loved a monster, no more than he would stop running from the monster that always lurked within himself.
Spike wanted to beg Angel to stop running, cease his hiding, and embrace the love that they'd been given though neither of them deserved it, but he refused the burning need in his being for he knew that doing so would only cause his beloved Angel to become his tormenting Demon even more swiftly. He would yell at him, scream at him, refuse their love, cuss him out in every language they knew, inform him heatedly that he was only an ends to a means and could never be anything more for he was good now whereas Spike would never be as good as he was for he'd never possess a soul of such purity, and then he'd hit him. He'd hit him again and again, and Spike would either respond, prompting them both to beat each other to a bloody pulp, or he would crawl away, slide deeper into the shadows that always offered him protection, and lick his wounds. Either way, he would be cheated of the moments Angel was offering him now, the rare moments of love that Angel actually allowed himself to give them, and those were moments for which he would gladly give anything, even the soul he'd fought so hard to achieve, and they were the moments that truly made his unlife worth surviving.
Thus it was that Spike stepped into Angel's waiting arms and let him pull him into hiding from the first rays of the rising sun. He let him kiss him and shivered inside. He let Angel's hands roam over him as his own hands tentatively reached out and began to touch the sensual body that filled his every good dream. He moaned when he slipped his tongue into his mouth and deepened their kiss, and he began to respond at last in full and hearty eagerness as he pushed the thoughts of what would come that night to the furthest recesses of his mind. It would happen, he knew. Angel would betray him again, turn away from him and toss him and their love away as he always did, but Spike also knew that he would come again. After all, he always did, and as much as his beloved grandsire would never admit, Spike knew, with a silent grin chasing his dark lips, that he, too, was love's bitch.
He whispered none of the words of love that churned through his poet's mind but took all that Angel offered him, gave him everything he possessed, and silently begged for an eternity of more. He showed him with his touches how much he would always love him alone but never spoke a word of the truth of his feelings as Angel returned his every sizzling kiss, ravishing lick, naughty nip, and passionate touch with just as much fervor. He yearned for an eternity of these moments spent loving the man who would always possess all his heart and love with a burning need more powerful, desperate, and aching than anything else he'd ever known or, indeed, anything he would ever know, but he would take that eternity one moment in the shadows at a time as long as that was all his Angel would give him.
The End
